A Spot of Good News

(cross-posted in a slightly different form over at Pam's House Blend)

As you know, I'm a UCC minister who serves a very progressive church in SW Iowa, not a bastion of liberalism by any means.  Steve King, he who feared that Iowa would become the new "gay marriage mecca," "represents" (and I do use the term loosely) the district in which I live.  I also have a part-time gig as a sexuality educator for an affiliate of a national reproductive-health-care organization (that also provides abortions, so I bet you can guess what it is).  My moms are gay, so I generally identify as "queer by proxy."  Oh, and I'm a local school board member.

We hear a lot of bad news about being a GLBT student in public schools. A LOT. I know that many of us have experienced a great deal of hatred and discrimination from our schooling years, and that lots of us carry those scars with us.  So I wanted to share a perfectly delightful story, and hopefully share a vision of what may yet be possible for the many GLBT students who come through our schools in the next few years.  

A few weeks ago, a youth in my church told me that her friend X was planning to bring his male date to prom.  I was kind of thrilled, and a little apprehensive. A few days later, I heard the same thing from our HS principal (also a member of our church), in the context of a marriage equality conversation.  When I commended him for supporting this young man, the principal said, "Well, first of all, it's the law.   And yes, it's great he's bringing his date!"  (Isn't it nice to have administrators who get it, and who are advocates for our kids?)

Our high school prom is a really big deal.  It is held at a local restaurant, and there is a red-carpet walk-in where couples are formally announced. Parents, kids, grandparents, all sorts of community members come, applaud the couples, and take pictures.  I told my youth I was planning to see her at the walk-in, and asked if her friend X was going to.  She said no, it felt like a big enough risk just to bring his date.  I was sad, but after hearing so many horror stories, I kind of understood.  Then my youth texted me yesterday.

"Are u still coming to walk in?"  Well, I sure was planning.  "Well, X is going to do walk-in now and he really wants some positive support."  Well, that settled it.  How could I not go?  

Now, I live in a very conservative part of the state.  I'm pretty much the only pro-choice pastor in the community, and I am certainly the only member of our ministerial association who supports GLBT rights or would perform a wedding for a same-sex couple.  I've been called a blasphemer and probably worse by my colleagues.  There is not a lot of support for things like marriage equality in my community.  For a lot of people, homosexuality = all that ridiculous stuff the Religious Right pushes.

So you can understand my anxiety for X.  Would the community be shocked?  Would they boo him?  Would they throw things at him?  Would they be silent?  Would the announcer refuse to announce the couple?  I imagined all these possibilities.

Well, I arrived a little before the procession began, and it was really neat.  I saw the mom of the youth, and she told me what X's car looked like.  I also saw who the announcer was, and relaxed a little.  He's a cop-turned-post-office-worker, and a really decent guy.  He may not be a GLBT activist, but I couldn't see him embarrassing anyone.

The kids started coming, and they were all announced.  There were several groups of girls, and a few "girl couples," which it was hard to tell if they were "couples" or friends who simply came together.  (Funny how communities have a high tolerance for girls coming to prom with other girls, but guys coming together freaks people out.  Yes, this was another reason for my concern.)  A couple of the girls held onto each others' arms, which I thought very sweet.

Then, X and his date arrived.  X wore a powder-blue tux with a black vest, and his date wore a black tux with a powder-blue vest.  (Cute, right?)  They got out of the car, clutched arms in the very traditional prom date entrance, were announced cheerfully, and walked down the red carpet to applause and photos (including me, calling like a maniac to a kid I'd never met to say how great they looked).

 That was it.  No booing, no whispers, even, that I could hear.  No outrage, no protesting.  Just, two boys walking in to prom, like any other couple.

It is times like this that I'm profoundly grateful for the "Iowa Nice" attitude that lets kids bring their dates to prom and doesn't make an issue of it, even if others don't "agree with homosexuality" (whatever that means).  It's also a time when I realize I need to check some of my own assumptions about this community, and to stop expecting the worst from these largely theologically conservative farmers.

In the midst of so much horror, discrimination and violence, I am just so profoundly grateful for the ways that this community steps up.  Believe me, if it can happen here, then we have won.

Something I'd Never Thought Of ...

A couple of weeks ago, I had lunch with my friends JW and J.  J and I had planned to eat together, and JW, who works near the coffee shop/cafe, arrived not long after and we invited him to join us.  J and I were talking about the Iowa Supreme Court marriage ruling, and she asked me to share my thoughts concerning the arguments that Polk County had put forward.

"Marriage is to make babies, and 'we've always done it this way'" was my snarky summation.  We laughed at the ridiculousness of it, and I noted that I thought it strange that the Polk County recorder had let a relatively inarticulate and obviously out-of-his-depth ADA argue the case.  JW, a local attorney, said, "Well, maybe that was on purpose.  The DA has to enforce the law as it is on the books, but ... maybe they wanted the plaintiffs to win.  It's not like counties never hire outside counsel for cases like this."  

I confess I'd never considered this possibility.  Could it have been that the Polk County recorder and DA wanted to get this case to the SC, and wanted this discriminatory law overturned?  All of a sudden, I was filled with gratitude for this potential legal strategy.  Since I don't know the Polk County recorder, nor their DA, I can't say for sure.  But this actually sounds pretty plausible to me.  Why didn't the DA hire outside counsel for this case - one with national implications?  I am sure there are tons of organizations who could have pleaded (pled?) this case for the DA, maybe even pro bono.  Crazy!

This is relevant because, of course, some local county recorders are trying to get out of their legal obligations by claiming their opposition to same-sex marriage is religious in nature.   (I think Jocelyn over at wtf would jesus do? or someone at Street Prophets pointed out yesterday that these same people also oppose re-marriage on religious grounds, but they seem to have no problems processing those requests.)  Yeah, not so much, according to the state AG.

Here's the thing: when you work for the government, you are not allowed to discriminate, even if your religious beliefs support discrimination.  When you take an oath to discharge certain duties, you are legally bound to discharge those duties even when you don't like it.  If you decide that you can no longer discharge those duties in good conscience, you are not able to live up to the oath of office you took.  One is not legally required to work for the state, so if working for the state violates your conscience...well, find a new job that doesn't.  It's really not that difficult.

As a local school board member, I'm required in that capacity to uphold the state constitution, not to uphold the Bible.  If I have a religious objection to something, I can't simply say "my religion forbids me to do this, or require me to do this."  I must find a legitimate legal reason to object; or I must abstain.  And if there's a large divide between my personal religious beliefs and my legal duties, I need to consider resigning my position.

I'll be interested to see how this plays out, as next Monday is when counties have to (or get to!!!) start issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.  A part of me suspects this is a tempest in a teapot, or attempts to stir up trouble where there isn't any, really.....but, we'll see.

Rants and Ramblings on the Death of a Child

I've had the misfortune of attending way too many funerals for young people. Suicides and accidents have been the bulk of these wretched events, but tomorrow I am attending a funeral for an infant, SM, who died about two weeks before she was due to be born. This was a much-hoped-for, much-longed-after daughter and granddaughter; the couple are new friends of ours.

Despite not being a parent, much less one who's gone through the horror of losing a child, I've come to know that people tend to say a lot of stupid, heartless and ridiculous things in such situations. Sometimes, ministers are especially guilty of this. I really hate hearing bad theology at the funerals of children and youth. (Well, I hate hearing bad theology all the time, but bad funeral theology is the absolute worst.) I know that people mean well, and are trying to help and not hurt, but honestly, do they think about what they are saying before they open their mouths?

Here is my top three list of stupid things you should never, ever, ever say to a parent who has lost a child:

3. God had a special task for this one in heaven. I actually heard this in a conversation this week. Long ago, a kid had flu-like symptoms; the family, who didn't have health insurance, couldn't afford a $25 copay to learn their kid had the flu, so didn't go to the doctor. The kid ended up having diabetes and died from the complications. A young friend wanted to know why this little girl had died and she didn't, since she also had diabetes. The above was her mother's response.

Look, I know that it's hard to explain to little kids about our whack health system, but let's be honest: the kid didn't die because God had some special task for her; she died because her parents didn't have access to adequate health insurance. A tragic mistake, not the family's fault...but also not God calling a kid home. Um, no. Whether avoidable, preventable, accidental, or even occasionally intention, whenever when a child dies, it's not God's will. Ever.

2. God's will is mysterious. Really? You think it's God's will that children die? What kind of horrible God do you worship? Keep me away from Him, thank you very much. In a famous sermon by William Sloane Coffin on the death of his own son Alex, a woman says to him, "I'll never understand the will of God." To which he replies, "I'll say you don't!" He goes on to say that at the moment of Alex's death, God's heart was the first to break, and that in all things, God offers us "minimum protection, maximum support."

1. God needed another angel. Really? Do you truly believe that a) God needs anything, and b) that even if God did need anything, God's need could somehow be greater than OUR need? Are you honestly going to tell grieving parents that God needed that child more than her parents and community did? Your god is that needy, that greedy? Seriously? Bullshit.

I get that when we have people we love who are grieving, we want to help. We want to take away that suffering, or at least imbue it with some sort of meaning that will help the grievers get out of bed in the morning.

We also have this thing in our culture where we are stuck in a third-grade notion of God being omnipotent and able to do anything. That's where a lot of this bad theology comes from; we believe that if something happens, it's because it's somehow God's will. But the hard reality is that God is not all-powerful. At least, not here on earth. If God were all-powerful, we'd be getting ready to celebrate SM's birth. There would be no genocide, no poverty, no rape, no hunger, no addiction, no murder, no oppression of any sort. The question of why God permits suffering is intimately tied to things like free will and random chance, and any real answer would be far too long for a blog post. Permit me to say, however, that even when God wants to prevent suffering, God is not always able to do so.

This is not to say that God cannot draw good out of suffering. This is where God is most powerful, I believe - in helping us draw good out of terrible situations. It's not easy, and it's not always possible. It certainly seldom happens in the way we think it will. Even if lives are transformed and realities changed for the better as a direct result of a child's death, it still doesn't make the death "worth it." There will always be a hole where that child should be. And in the end, only the parents parents have the right to say, somewhere down the line, "We miss her, we'd rather have her here, but there are some good things that happened after this horrible death that might not have otherwise happened." We don't have the right to say that for anyone else. Ever.

When a child dies, it is utterly incomprehensible. It tears at the order and fabric of the universe in particularly devastating ways. And yet, it is totally human of us to try to make sense of utter nonsense. I get that. I desperately want to take away some of the grief my friends are feeling right now, and the normal way we think that happens is through an explanation. (What makes this situation even more heart-wrenching is that the doctors don't know why SM died. But I don't suppose that would matter very much anyway; it just maybe gives a focus for the grief.) But let's be honest: if it were you, would any of this stuff make you feel better?

When a kid dies, do your friends and family the courtesy of not making up bullshit reasons for why this happened, especially not bullshit reasons that put God at the center of what happened. Stick with the psalms of lamentation that rail against God if you must. But better yet: just show up. Bring them food. Hug them. Cry with them. And keep your mouth shut.

This, by the way, is how you bring God into the center of such a tragedy.

Youtube Goodness

So, I have this thing where I hate to do something that everyone else is doing.  If everyone is watching "West Wing," I'll resist because it can't be that good, and even if it is, it will probably be cancelled in a season.  (Oops!)  I'll also resist because I've been burned liking something that ends up being totally mock-worthy - see, high school concert, comma, Vanilla Ice.  

It should come as no surprise, then, to know that I've been resisting watching this whole "Susan Boyle" thing on "Britain's Got Talent."  One, I hate reality shows.  Two, I especially hate reality shows that mock other people.  Three, I hate Simon Cowell (in good Christian love, bless his heart).  Did I also mention I'm not a huge fan of musicals?  But tonight, with the buzz still inexplicably growing, I asked Backbencher if he'd seen it and if it was really that good.  "Oh, yes," he said.  "Youtube it now."  

So I did.  And it was amazing!  Her voice is so strong, so phenomenal, so ... great!  Now, it's not the voice of an angel - it's better than that.  It's the voice of a SINGER!!!!  I am not ashamed to say I had tears in my eyes.  I could give you all this commentary about our looks-obsessed culture and how she's a living indictment of it, but I suspect you've heard it.  I admit from the photos I thought she might be "special" in some way, and her story of never having been kissed, living with cats and caring for her mother kind of reinforced that.  

But as soon as she walked up on stage, it was obvious she is a wickedly smart, wickedly funny woman.  She knew her pipes would blow everyone away.  And they did!  Oh, just go see it.  If not for the first time, then go enjoy it again!

All in All, Not Such a Super Day

Wow, what a day.  Taxes were due, and I forgot to ask Backbencher to sign the forms before he left for work today.  Since he works an hour from home, and I wasn't going to drive all the way to his job, and he wasn't going to drive an hour back home, and our post office closes before he gets back from work....we met halfway.  Not how I wanted to start the day.  Plus, we owe some $$$ and of course, quarterly taxes are also due today.  *sigh*

Then, I learned that a couple I am getting to know who were so excited for the birth of their daughter at the end of this month lost the girl on Monday.  I don't know if I can imagine anything worse (and please, don't tell me if you can).  Just please pray for T and J.

THEN, I learned that I actually know the young woman my friends MJ and Guillermo have been supporting at NYU's Relay for Life this weekend.  Lauren Beam and I were on the track team together for a couple of years; she's wonderful and amazing...and has stage 4 colon cancer in her early thirties.  Please support Team Beam here; and if you want to be a real winner, bump MJ Pasion or Guillermo Rojas over the edge in their fundraising - just click their names and donate on their page.

Then, our favorite Chinese place closed tonight.  We waited over an hour for food, but it was totally worth it because it is our last chance to enjoy China Gate.  Godspeed, Kiet and family.

In a totally ironic turn of events, youth group today focused on seeing the glass as half-full versus half-empty.  That, and baseball.  So, on the positive side, I had a great little run today.  And the Chinese food was delicious.

Letters to the Editor

Our local weekly often has "gems" of letters to the editor. If I've written previously, you can bet that they are all about how appalled the reader is that I serve a church because I'm obviously the spawn of Satan or some hedonistic forced-abortion satanista. Or, if they are feeling charitable, just hopelessly misguided and in need of lots of prayers to repent of the errors of my ways and teachings. What can you do? I usually stew for a few minutes, then laugh and laugh.

This week's letter, in response to a quote of mine that appeared in the Omaha World-Herald (the nearest daily), was rather cute. I reprint it here in its entirety and verbatim (except for the town name):
"Saturday morning right on the front page of my newspaper is the United States with a big red dot over Iowa. And in reading about this abomination against God a small church Reverend in XXXXXXX has proclaimed a victory.
We as Christians and disciples of God have again let Satan's foot in the door."

The red dot, if you're new to this site (and God only knows why this would be the post that brings you here, but, hey, welcome, have a seat, enjoy the view) is in regards to marriage equality, which came to Iowa on April 3.

Thank you, Donald Allen of my hometown. It gave me a good laugh; also, I laughed again when my friend JW called to ask if Satan was home. But I just have one question - when were the other times we let Satan's foot in the door? When women started to get ordained? When women were no longer the property of their fathers or husbands? When the abominable snowman was revealed to be a gentle giant who just needed a tooth pulled?

Seriously, Kids, it's a Semi-Colon; how hard is it to use?

Go read Lucky Fresh's rant on the underuse of the semi-colon; it's compelling stuff.

'Nuff Said

On marriage equality as a barometer of religious freedom.

Very Belated Post

I had the honor to speak at the Council Bluffs Marriage Equality Victory Rally on April 3, and yep, I'm just getting around to posting what I said. To be accurate, what I said can best be described as "inspired by" what's below, because at the last minute I decided to go off-script and just speak.

April 3, 2009 ~ At the inauguration of our current president, Barack Obama, Sen. Dianne Feinstein spoke of “the sweet victory of this hour.” Iowans, these are our words today!!! For we who love justice and equality, for we who wish to affirm that all Iowans are equal under the law, for we who believe that all Iowa families deserve to be treated fairly, this is indeed a sweet, sweet hour, a sweet, sweet victory.

God is good – all the time!

Yes, it’s true. I believe that God has brought us to this day. God rejoices with us as we celebrate the triumph of love over fear, justice over oppression, and holiness in the midst of our closest relationships. God is smiling upon Iowa this day! As an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ, I affirm that God is still speaking and God says we are all equal in God’s eyes. We are all beloved of God! We are all free! The sweet victory of this hour is in the ways that all blessed and holy relationships may now be honored fairly by the state of Iowa. Thanks be to God!

Even as I invoke the name of God in giving thanks for this sweet victory, I know that there are some here and throughout our great state who feel this decision is a travesty in the eyes of God. I cannot change your mind. I am not here to change your mind, sorry though I am that we disagree.

I am here to ask to you to acknowledge just one thing: that in our society, marriage often has both RELIGIOUS and CIVIL aspects. This union of religion and civics within the word “marriage” makes lots of people uncomfortable. Believe me, I get it. It is a curious conflation. But it is real.

What we celebrate today is not a religious victory. [It’s not, even for those of us who support marriage equality as a religious issue.] This is a civic victory: that insofar as marriage is a civil contract, the state has no business discriminating against consenting adults who wish to enter into it. What has happened today is that the Iowa Supreme Court has affirmed the equal recognition and protection of the privileges and rights of all individuals in civil marriage, no matter the gender of each partner.

As for the religious definition of marriage … well, the courts have no jurisdiction there. Insofar as marriage is a religious compact, even a sacrament, the state has no business telling religion what to do or whom it must join in holy matrimony. And it does not pretend to. If your religious beliefs or that of your church, synagogue, masjid or other place of worship do not recognize marriage between two persons of the same gender, you are free to go on believing and practicing that belief. You do not have to marry same-sex couples. You don’t have to go to their weddings and you do not have to have those weddings in your places of worship. The First Amendment’s guarantees of freedom of religion are intact.

What has changed is only the civil definition of marriage. (only!) But for we who love justice, for we who walk in love, for we who seek liberation for the oppressed, it is enough. It is enough.

And see, if you are like me, and worship in a faith community where all people are welcome to participate in the full life, fellowship and leadership of the congregation, no matter their sexual orientation, now, the same-sex holy unions we perform can now have the same weight and authority as the heterosexual unions we perform. Because brothers and sisters, we have been marrying gay and lesbian couples for years! And we will keep on doing it – this time with the knowledge that we celebrate not only a religious uniting of two of God’s children, but also a legal creation of a family. What a joy that the state has finally caught up with what we have known to be true all along – that love makes a family.

Seven months ago, in the state of California, I had the privilege of uniting in holy matrimony and in civil marriage two women who had been a couple for twenty years. These women had raised three children together and seen more trouble than most of us can imagine. They had loved each other in the closet for most of that time, and they resisted most ways of having their relationship recognized formally. But when the time came for marriage equality in their state, they jumped. They opened their lives up to their friends and coworkers. They called their children and invited them to the special day. They got on their nicest clothes and they walked down a dusty path in a beautiful park and they pronounced their vows to each other, and they kissed, and they were legally married. The law recognized what the spirit had always known – that these two people were meant for each other, now and forever. And on that day, possibly the only person happier than they were was their daughter – the minister who presided at their union. Me.

So you see, this is not only a political victory, but it is a personal and family victory for all Iowa’s families. Thank you, God, for the sweet victory of this hour."

I missed a few good points raised by others, such as the fact that I support marriage equality BECAUSE OF my Christian faith, not in spite of it, but I think the message came through anyway. I also added a couple of points, like apologizing on behalf of Christians everywhere for the abuse GLBT persons have suffered at the hands of "the Church." (I know I can't make up for it, I know I'm not personally responsible for it, but it needs to be said nonetheless.)

It was a great rally and to the best of my knowledge, we had no counter-protestors. The thrill of that day was partly eaten up by the annoyance of the next few days when protests became more formal in the Iowa Legislature, and at the local legislative coffee when the people who represent this district were ridiculous in their assessments.

Our state senator even invoked the tired line of "teaching this to our children in schools" and our state representative went on and on about how the court overstepped its bounds. Why don't these people get that they don't have a right to vote on other people's civil liberties? Do they not understand that the function of a state Supreme Court is precisely to rule on the constitutionality of laws enacted by the legislature? Have they never heard of "checks and balances"? Did they ever show up for their civics classes? The mind boggles.

Wingnuttery Sex Education

Oh, God, Andrew Sullivan found these videos and I must share with you.  I especially love how he calls it "vu-gINE-ul sex" in the 2nd video.  I think it should be pretty obvious why this man has no idea what the clitoris is for, "since it doesn't have a reproductive function."  The horrible misogyny is in really fine form.  (Also, he thinks that sperm sort of hang out in the womb and magically become a baby - no mention of the egg.)

I have no idea who this man is, but he is truly an embarrassment to evangelical Christianity.  

Great Facebook Commentary on Iowa Supreme Court Ruling

All my friends from California told me I was nuts to leave there to come to Iowa to serve a church.  I explained that the privilege of being a straight white woman is that I can go to A LOT of places and speak on a number of important issues, and that people will hear it differently coming from me; and that I had a responsibility as a person of faith to go to some of those more challenging places.  Basically, I came to Iowa to be a missionary for progressive Christianity.

Of course, progressive Christianity is already alive and well in Iowa, but in my part of the state, I really am a missionary.  (And I'm occasionally vilified for this!)  I actually love it.  I shake stuff up here.  And it's odd, because sometimes I get down on myself because I think I should be doing so much more, and I'm really not so radical after all, blah blah blah....until I remember that in this context, supporting marriage equality and a woman's right to choose when and whether to have children is incredibly radical to almost everyone except the people in the church I serve (and even some of them think it's radical).

Well, yesterday was my vindication to all those mockers from CA.  Marriage equality is here to stay - for at least 3 more years, as opposed to the what, 6 months?, it was available there.  Yeah, we totally rock here!  In the immortal words of Matt Damon in "Good Will Hunting," "How you like them apples?"  Or, as I kept saying so ineloquently yesterday, "SUCKAs!!!!!!"  (Bless their hearts)

Well, now that that schadenfreude is over (and to any of my friends from CA or anywhere else who wants to get married in Iowa and me to preside, get on my calendar soon because I imagine my dance card may soon begin to fill.......), so many peeps came up with some GREAT Facebook commentary on this decision.  I shall share a few gems below:

From Will, a friend from NYU XC: "A new - and surprising - state slogan: Iowa: more progressive than California."

From Patrick, former camper from Caz, "I think [the ruling] said a same-sex marriage ban was 'totally gay.'"

And some news article quoted a woman at one of the rallies with a sign that said "Corn-fed and Ready to Wed."  Well, I'm already married, but I'm ready to marry you, gay couples in the Outer 47.  Come be blessed by our state and its progressive values.  Even in my part of the state, you'll find plenty who share your joy.

PS Check out Backbencher's post on the ruling.  It's great!  (Partly because he's great!)

State Supreme Court Smackdown!

The ones getting smacked were the people representing the Polk County Recorder's office, of course! Marriage equality has come to Iowa today, and I couldn't be happier!!!!

I also, being the dork that I am, read the full decision (okay, I skimmed parts of it - I understand the difference between strict scrutiny, rational basis, and intermediate scrutiny, so I just needed to know what they used). It is amazing. Read it here. (The six-page summary for you wusses is here.)

The Iowa Supreme Court took every argument that the Polk County Recorder's office raised and thoroughly ripped them to tiny little shreds. Then they poured gasoline on those shreds and burnt them. Then, they took the ashes, and steamrolled over them. It was a thing of beauty. I love when justices do this - it is devastating and marvelous all at once! I had every confidence that the defendants had a weak case, and boy did it show in this decision. And can I just say, "Thank you!!!" to the justices for their strong, reasoned, principled, and thorough work? A-freakin-mazing.

Also, they nicely made clear that this is about CIVIL MARRIAGE and does not affect RELIGIOUS MARRIAGE in any way. Except that now I don't have to feel that I'm participating in a discriminatory act when I sign opposite-sex marriage licenses. And, of course, I can marry gay and lesbian couples, starting April 24. But all y'all who don't want to perform same-sex marriage and who want to pour on the hate over my gay and lesbian friends still are free to do so.

And it was UNANIMOUS! What a great day to be an Iowan!! God be praised! And thank you, God, for justices who do their work mindful of the firestorm it may create but courageous enough to do their job of interpreting the constitutionality of laws nonetheless.

Tomorrow!

Tomorrow is the day when the Iowa Supreme Court will issue its ruling on Varnum v. Brien, a marriage equality case. (That would be "same-sex marriage" for all you folk not totally up on the liberal lingo regarding the issue.) It could very well happen - we could be the next state to support our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters when they choose to enter into the civil institution of marriage. Wouldn't that be great?

Some, of course, may wish to enter into the religious institution of marriage at the same time. If so, come to my church! I'll be glad to marry you to your spouse - but you will have to do the pre-marital counseling stuff I require of all couples I marry.

In case you were wondering, I am saving my eloquence for the rally in Council Bluffs tomorrow, where I'll be speaking on behalf of (at least some) communities of faith in support of marriage equality. See you tomorrow at 5:30pm; location to be updated as soon as I know it!

In the meantime, let's pray for equality and justice for all Iowans (it's a Christian prayer, but feel free to translate to your own tradition as is appropriate):
God, in your mercy, you create us for intimacy and love, and you shape our desires in many holy ways. You give us the bonds of marriage that we may make a family with our beloved, and that through our dearest relationships your love may be made manifest. We pray this evening for the state of Iowa and its great people, that we may be a place where all couples may freely marry their beloved. Tonight we pray especially for our gay and lesbian citizens, that come tomorrow, they may share equally in the rights and responsibilities of marriage. Give us courage to speak your love in clear tones, strength for the journey that lies ahead, and grace abundant, as you have so shown us in Jesus Christ. Amen.

In the Local Paper

This was a column I wrote for our local paper; it was published last week, but I'm just getting around to posting it now.

Spiritual Abuse and the Church

One of the most sacred things about the ministry is that people share amazing stories with you – about their lives, their troubles, and the ways God has (or has not) been present in their lives. This is an enormous privilege, one that I do not take lightly. Thank you for sharing your life with me.

But one of the saddest things I have encountered is the number of people who have related to me their stories of spiritual abuse and survival. Here are just a few of the stories I have heard: people who have been browbeaten into submission to some so-called “essential doctrine” of faith; people whose faithful intelligence and probing questions were met with hostility rather than openness; people who have had their humanity denigrated and denied because of the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, their addictions, or their economic status; people who have been told that if they just had more faith, all their problems would disappear; people who have heard for years, even decades, that they are just plain worthless; people whose pasts were constantly held against them, even as they tried to live in a new way. This betrayal at the hands of the church is a grievous wound in the Body of Christ.

How brave are those who dare to share their stories and speak out against spiritual abuse! In rejecting such abuse, a person must separate oneself from the abusive community; but their faith in God’s goodness often endures. When those who have been battered by the church are able to hold onto the core belief in a good and loving God, and even seek out another congregation to grow in discipleship and faith, it is nothing short of miraculous. What courage it takes for those who have been badly wounded by the church to risk entering another community of faith. It would be far easier to reject faith and God altogether, after having been treated so abominably by God’s people.

To you who have been spiritually abused by the church, I apologize. You deserve better. I apologize for my fellow clergy, who are often so zealous in doctrine that they ignore human need standing in front of them. And I apologize for my fellow Christians, who are so blinded by their self-righteousness or struggling with their own feelings of inadequacy that they cannot see another child of God in their midst. I am sorry for what you have suffered by those who have misrepresented Christ. God has made you in God’s own image, and you are a holy reflection of God’s light in this world.

To those of you who believe you are doing God’s work by revealing all the sin of the world and holding it up to account, I say, enough. The world already knows all about the reality of sin and the sharp pain of sin’s wounds. We do not need any more reminders of how broken we are or how damaged this world is. What people need to know about is not sin, but forgiveness; not bleak despair, but enduring hope; not judgment, but grace; not death, but new life. We do need the healing, forgiving love made known to Christians in Jesus Christ. Remember these words of Isaiah, spoken by Jesus at the outset of his ministry: “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because God has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. The Lord has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor” (Matthew 4: 18-19).

This world needs to be wooed by Christ, captivated by the stories of his power and love, and renewed by the life-giving power of the Holy Spirit. That cannot happen by crushing a spirit. Doctrine has a place, but if it cannot withstand honest questioning and deep, faithful examination, it is not worth its privileged place in the church.

Those who encounter God will be radically changed – but it is up to God to do the changing and to dictate the terms of that change. Who knows how, when, and in what ways we will be transformed by God? We cannot and should not force that change, especially in others. We can only invite God to be present, to fill our lives with grace, to shape us more fully into Christ’s image – and to trust God to do the same in the lives of others, however God will.

Secrets, Surprises, and Confidences

Today we hosted a surprise baby shower for our pastoral intern.  It was pretty amazing that we pulled it off - not least because we have kids in our Sunday school class who, God help them, simply cannot keep a secret.  Also, I was amazed that Intern didn't think anything was up when her mom, her in-laws, her grandparents, grandparents-in-law, and 1-year-old daughter all showed up for church.  She just thought they were there to hear her preach.

This got me thinking, yet again, about the difference between secrets, surprises and confidences.  Talking about it with one of the newer parents, we arrived at some great definitions for use especially with kids, though they are by no means unique:

Secrets: "covering up wrongdoing."  Asking kids to keep a secret is pretty dangerous stuff.  It's what abusers do to their young victims ("this is just our little secret), it's what corrupt bosses do to their employees ("we'll pay you under the table and keep your employment a secret from the government), and it's what people generally do when they know they're doing something wrong - covering it up.  Secrets, we need to teach our children, are bad.

Surprises: "withholding information to create a pleasant surprise in the near future."  This is what we did with Intern.  We withheld a lot of information so that she could have a happy surprise party in her honor.  I knew she would have been embarrassed to have known about it in advance, but this way, we got to celebrate her pregnancy and the impending birth of her child, and she got to enjoy the generosity of our congregation's love.  A surprise is a special kind of secret - one that is meant to be revealed at the right time, for a positive end.  These are okay to keep - and our kids did a fantastic job keeping this surprise!!!

Confidences: "not sharing information to third parties."  As a pastor, I'm put in the position to keep all kinds of confidences.  About surgeries, illnesses, indiscretions, marriages in crisis, pregnancies of all sorts, and so on.  Part of my vows mean that I don't get to share this information with people, even when I want to or it might make a difference in how another person might treat a certain situation.  I keep a lot of confidences in my professional capacity.

For a lot of lay people, you too keep confidences, even if you don't have "vows" you promised to the church to keep.  Things your friends tell you that they don't want the world to know, vulnerable places in their life or psyche, or just plain embarrassing stories.  Trust is a really important part of friendships, and knowing that you aren't going to tell everyone everything is a good way to be a good friend to someone.

Confidences are meant to be kept, often indefinitely, and I hold them in the highest regard.  That being said, I have been in a couple of situations where I have needed to break a confidence.  I did so with the full knowledge of the person who had revealed the confidence to me.  In one case, it was a case of abuse reported to me which by the law of the state I lived in at the time, I had to report to the authorities, and in another, it was revealing to camp leadership staff a report about something a camper had experienced "down the hill" (not at camp) that was affecting her experience of camp.  (In a few other cases, the person has told me, "It's okay to tell your spouse," and then I use my best judgment as to whether or not Backbencher needs to know the information.)  When I have had to break a confidence, I have told the person involved that I needed to do that and why beforehand.  It saves a lot of drama and preserves one's ability to be trustworthy in future situations.

When someone asks me if I can keep a secret, I always reply, "It depends."  If someone wants me to keep something confidential, I can do that.  If someone wants to plan I surprise, I can definitely do that!  If someone just needs to get something off their chest in a non-confessional capacity, I can probably do that.  But if someone wants to tell me that they are hurting someone or being hurt by someone, that's not the kind of secret I can necessarily keep.*  

In my work with young people in particular, if I'm asked to keep a secret, I say, "I want to keep things confidential - that is, not blabbing information around.  But if you are being hurt by someone, or if you are hurting someone or yourself, that isn't the kind of secret I can keep.  In that case, I need to tell other people so that you can get the help you need.  Because I care about you, sometimes I have to tell someone else."  No person, having heard my criteria for keeping a confidence, has ever chosen not to tell me the situation.

I encourage you all to work to adopt these definitions for use in your personal and professional lives - especially if you work with young people.  J. came up with the "secrets" definition, and I give him full credit for the wording.  

*By virtue of my ordination vows, I must keep confidential anything said to me in a confessional/penitential setting, even if it involves someone abusing another.  It's a specific context, and in our denomination, "confession" isn't as commonly used as it is in other religious traditions.  But it still exists.  In Iowa, as clergy I am not a mandated reporter (though that may change this year), but in my sex educator capacity, I am mandated reporter.  So, for me personally, a lot depends on my professional context.  Also, if my friends want to know that I will keep something silent, it goes "in the vault," where I don't reveal the information to anyone ... sometimes even myself, forgetting about the information!  (I did this when my friend Emily had a crush on Tim, and then couldn't figure out who she had started dating....Kids, it's not a secret anymore as they've been married a few years!)

Something Fun

from the good people at Feministing. Enjoy!

Christ as Sacrament

This was my sermon from last Sunday. The biblical texts referenced are Numbers 21: 4-9 and John 3: 14-21.

What an odd little story we have in the Hebrew Scriptures this morning. It’s not the grumbling of the Israelites that’s odd – we’ve seen that before (see: manna, quail, water at Marah). In fact, this story is the last of five “grumbling stories” of the Israelites during their sojourn in the wilderness following their liberation from Egypt. The odd part isn't even when God punishes the grumblers with a plague of snakes. Retribution theology runs a strong streak through the Old Testament, though it is by no means the only theology represented there. God punishing people for their lack of faith in God’s providence is a common way that humans understand the way God works.

Retribution theology has never made a great deal of sense to me. So, we believe in a loving God who forgives us our sins, who “so loved the world that God sent God’s only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life,” and that same God punishes us for the wrong things we do? Mmmm, forgiveness and retribution in the heart of God seem at the core, incompatible.

And in this story, the retribution aspect of God also seems to make little sense. What makes more sense is the healing that follows. When the people, connecting their grumbling to the snake plague, come to Moses and beg forgiveness for their speaking against God, God gives a command to Moses. “Make a poisonous [or fiery] serpent, and set it on a pole; and everyone who is bitten shall look at it and live.” The bronze serpent raised up in the wilderness becomes a source of healing for the Israelites, rooted in God’s mercy and grace.

Theologian Barbara Brown Taylor points out that this bronze serpent served a sacramental function for the Israelites. “Looking up at the serpent reminded the people to lift their hearts to God,” pointing to the true Source of the healing they experienced. That’s what a sacrament is, you know. The Reformed definition of a sacrament is “a visible sign of God’s invisible grace.” A sacrament is a physical thing that points to God’s intangible mercy.

In the Protestant church, we have two “churchly” sacraments: baptism and communion, or the Eucharist. But these two things are by no means the only things that can be sacraments. If gazing upon nesting bald eagles reminds you to give thanks to the God who made heaven and earth, those eagles too can be a sacrament. If visiting a friend who’s in the hospital or who simply lives alone, or if trying to repair a damaged relationship calls your attention to the God who desires us to be in relationship with each other, then those people can be sacraments to us.

That bronze serpent stuck around, you know. It made the wilderness journey with the Israelites and when the Temple was built, it had a place of prominence. It seems that the people did not easily forget this story of healing and redemption. But over time, the bronze serpent took on more and more prominence in the life of the people. No longer was it a sign or a symbol pointing to the power of God to heal and restore life – it became the object to which people looked for that healing. The people came to believe that the serpent itself, not God, was responsible for their cure. For that reason, King Hezekiah in the book of 2 Kings, several hundred years later, destroyed the serpent when he restored the Temple to its rightful place as a place to worship El Shaddai – the Lord God. It had become an idol, to which the people made offerings, and even had a name – Ne-hush-tan.

Sacraments can easily become idols when we neglect the source of their power in our lives, when we forget that it is not the object that has power, but that to which the thing points – God. Take, for example, wedding rings. They, too, can take on totemic significance in our lives. On our honeymoon, [Backbencher] and I went to a lovely Anglican church for service – in fact, it was the very church where Oscar Wilde had been married (snicker, snicker). When we arrived and sat down, [Backbencher] suddenly noticed that he was not wearing his wedding ring. Like many men his age, he wasn’t used to wearing “jewelry,” and he’d simply forgot to put it on when he got ready that morning. He looked at me, stricken. What could I say? It wasn’t really a big deal. I mean, if he never wore it, that might be one thing. But this was just an honest lapse, a week after getting it. It’s not like he was out trolling for women or anything – he was with me, at church.

My view about our wedding rings is that they are precious gifts to one another that symbolize our love for each other and signify the vows we made at our wedding; they represent our commitment to our relationship. My ring reminds me of my vow, calls my attention to what I have promised my beloved, and invites me to look beyond the ring to what it symbolizes: our mutual love and commitment, and the ways that God has come alive in my relationship with [Backbencher]. However, my ring is not my vow. My ring is not my commitment. My ring is not my marriage. Without this ring on my finger, I would still be married, and I would still have the same promises and commitments as I do wearing the ring.

We humans get like this, sometimes. We mistake a symbol for that to which it points. So it was with the snake in the wilderness, so it is sometimes with wedding rings, and so it is sometimes with Christ. The image of Jesus Christ lifted up – even the image of the thing upon which Jesus Christ was lifted up, the cross – becomes itself the object of worship and sacrifice. It becomes an idol, an object we worship instead of God, rather than a sacrament, something that points to God and invites us to deeper relationship with God.

Idol worship makes our life and faith shallow. If the object is the thing, then we need not plumb the depths and the mystery of what the object represents. We merely go to the object, and offer it our thoughts and prayers. If our ring becomes our vow, then it is the object that has power, rather than the relationship that has power. And if Christ becomes the be-all-end-all of how we relate to God, then we miss out on the depth and wonder that is God at work in the natural world, in other faith traditions, and through the Holy Spirit blowing where it will. Such idol worship will eventually lead to death, the very opposite of that which God intends for us.

But we need not devote ourselves to idols, putting them in the place of God and forgetting the Source of all that is good. Nor do I believe that the answer is to destroy all the idols in the world or anything that might become an idol. You’ll notice that I do in fact wear my wedding ring, that we do celebrate Communion on a regular basis, and that our altar has a cross upon it. In any event, not only is it impractical to get rid of everything that may become an idol for us, but it would be impossible. Humans seem to have an innate capacity and desire for ritual and sacrament, even if it is not within the walls of the church. Anything that could be a sacrament could also turn into an idol.

The key is to keep our attention focused on the physical objects themselves, but on the reality to which they point. Seeing Christ as a sacrament means that he becomes for us a visible representation of God’s love and mercy for all creation. Christ, whom the gospel writer called “The Logos, or Word, of God,” is a manifestation of what John 3:16 declares: “For God so loved the world that God gave God’s only-begotten son, that whoever believes in him shall not die, but have eternal life.” We know these words are true because Jesus, in all his words and deeds, is a living proclamation of that truth.

Just as the snake was lifted up to God and gave the people life, so too was Jesus’ lifting up – both upon the Cross and up to heaven – means of bringing us to new life in his name. When we see these events not as things to be worshipped in themselves, we are freed from idolatry and free to see Christ as that for which he truly is: God alive and at work among us, desiring our repentance and making our lives holy and rich. Living sacramentally, with our eyes and souls fixed not on things but on the One who has created all things, helps us do what God would have us do. For the writer of Ephesians tell the truth: We are what God has made us – created in Jesus Christ for good works.

Our calling is not merely to recognize God as the source of life, love and healing, but to reflect that life, love and healing in our own lives. In short, God has created us in Christ Jesus to be living sacraments for the world, so that through us, people would come to see God truly and love God fully.

In this season of Lent, let us celebrate the sacrament of Christ, turn our hearts to all the holiness to which God’s creation points, and embody the Gospel to this hungry, hurting world. Amen.

Bill Richardson Is My Hero...

...but I am definitely over my crush on him. (That's because of the van dyke, which I think has mercifully been shaved by now). He's my hero because when he came to my small town before the caucuses, he said that he supported civil rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender folk. You don't really hear too much of that where I live, unless you're at church and I'm preaching on the subject. So yeah, I was his big cheerleader in our county...for all the good it did.

And now, he's signed a bill abolishing the death penalty in New Mexico. Thank you, Gov. Richardson! His thoughtful and measured words in the press release accompanying the signing were also outstanding. He acknowledges the difficulty in the decision, how he has struggled and evolved on the issue, and he gives credit to people who believe differently than he does. I admit it - I'm still a sucker for his rhetoric (though I'm perfectly happy to the the POTUS that we do!).

Gov. Richardson raises two issues around the death penalty that have shaped my civil/legal opposition to it: the possibility of executing an innocent person, and the disproportionate way that it is applied to people of color, especially poor people of color. I learned growing up that our legal system believed that it was better to let one hundred guilty people go free than it was to jail one innocent person, and for a long time I was naive enough to believe we meant that. I no longer believe we live by that ideal, but I steadfastly believe it's an American value well-worth returning to.* When an innocent person is executed, you don't get to go back and say, "Ooops, sorry, we got the wrong guy."

Also, when I see the atrocious way that poor people and people of color are treated in our legal system, it makes me want to puke. (Frankly, the way people of color are treated in the media's reporting on legal issues makes me want to puke, too. Just try to remember the last time you saw a white person's mugshot lead the evening news, or be on the front page, above the fold. Bet you saw a black person's mugshot within the last two days, either on TV or in the paper.) DA's often cut deals with white defendants, but bring the full weight of the law down on black ones. Often, a white defendant is said to have made an error in judgment, but a black defendant is just a thug. Ineffective counsel is appointed, and they compound the trouble.

Look at the case of Dominique Green - a microcosm for all that can go wrong. The kid did not pull the trigger, but he still was executed. Oh, and did you know that the white people involved in the shooting - including the one who ACTUALLY COMMITTED THE MURDER - all got off? And that the victim's family asked for him NOT to be executed?! Listen to author Thomas Cahill discuss the case on NPR's "Tell Me More." This may be one case, but it represents a system badly out of whack.

My religious opposition to the death penalty, in addition to the religious aspects of the two above-mentioned reason, is shaped a lot by Augustine (don't laugh, Luis or Jocelyn!), who believed that execution robbed the person of the possibility of repenting of their crime and coming to experience God's forgiveness (and perhaps the forgiveness of the victim and/or victim's family).

Also, Ta-Nehisi has a great post relating to the death penalty, conservatives and small government, which I urge you to mull over. I think it will be the subject of my next post.

* Sorry to end the sentence with a preposition, grammar police.

Things That Make You Go "Noooooo!!!!!!"

Our beloved MML is leaving the blogosphere. 'Tis a sad, sad day at Casa Liturgygeek (or, to be more precise, at Office Liturgygeek). This was the first blog I checked in the morning and in the evening - often even before I checked Backbencher's. It has been thought-provoking and a balm to my soul on many day. Yet Matt is a guy with a ton of integrity, so if this is what he thinks is best, you can be sure he's given it a lot of thought and prayer.

And Matt? If you ever decide you want to guest post anywhere, we'd be glad to have you here. Love you!

Beware the Ides of March!

Because, you know, Julius Caesar died on that day.

Abortion and Grammar Fun!

Check out this great post from my new pal over at What The F*%$ Would Jesus Do?  I just love it when other people combine things I love - in this case, a cogent pro-choice argument and a grammar smackdown.  

Also, and totally unrelated, I just love it when a plan comes together....

Guilty; or Beloved Children of God, Behaving Appallingly

What a great, and tragic, way to start the morning.  John Sickels and James Christensen, respectively the former assistant police chief and the police chief of Creston, Iowa, were both found guilty of sexual abuse in the rape of a country club employee in 2008.

It's a great way to start the day because these small-town cops obviously thought they could get away with rape, and they didn't.  When first confronted by DCI, they said there was absolutely no sexual contact whatsoever.  Then Sickels said he put his hand down the victim's pants.  Then he said it was consensual sex.  Apparently, Christensen stroked the victim's hair and tried to shush her during the attack, though he now maintains that he never touched her.

Now, my legal experience (apart from my minor in political science) basically comes from crime dramas on television, but I know that once you tell a story to police investigators, you should stick to it, because otherwise you look guilty as sin.  If you say there was no sexual contact, stick to it.  Oh or better yet! - Tell the truth the first time.  You people are cops, don't you know the rules of interrogation?  My God, I'm a freakin' pacifist and I know this!  (Of course, my father also trains interrogators for the military, so that may also be why I know this....)  If you had sex with her, just admit it.  

If the two cops had led with the story of consensual sex when they were first interrogated, I doubt they would have been convicted yesterday.  Which would have been a pity, because I have been pretty sure they were guilty from the first time I heard this story, mostly because the victim has always been consistent in her story, and the cops have done nothing but lied and changed their stories.  I know, I know, innocent until proven guilty, right to a fair trial and all that....which I do believe and which I am sure they did in fact receive.  And they are GUILTY!  

It's also a tragic way to start a morning because a young woman was raped, for God's sake, and by those who are charged with protecting citizens and upholding the law.  Rape is not something one just "gets over," like a car accident or something else.  It is an assault on our bodies, the precious gift God has given to be bearers of holy light and to contain our souls, abusing the sacred gift of sex as a weapon of violence and pain.

It's also tragic because these men, no matter how heinous and stupidly they've behaved, are also men with families, and beloved children of God, and they all are going to be in a lot of pain for a long time to come.  The difference, of course, is that the victim did not choose the pain she's experiencing, but these men could have chosen not to cause themselves, their families, or their victim, this sort of pain.  Beloved children of God - behaving absolutely wretchedly.

Pray that the victim can continue her process of healing, and that these men acknowledge the wrong they have done, and that God gives them all a new path forward in life and hope.

Why I Live-Blogged ER, and part of what I love about television

So, I used to watch ER in college, and loved it.  Like some people, I drifted away from it over the years, but kept "in touch" via the commercials and an occasional episode.  This being the last season, I have decided to see how it ends.  And I'm glad I watched tonight with all the old all-stars (or, most of the old all-stars, anyway).....it reminded me of one of the things I love about good television.

See, with good television, the characters continue to live on, even when they're off-stage.  They marry, have children, continue to slay vampires, live, love, experience loss and grace.  Now, sloppy writers try to incorporate the life of the actor into the future life of the character, but good writers really take time to think about the character, not the actor, and how the character would have grown/changed/stayed the same in the time off-stage.

Tonight, we saw how things have turned out so far for many of our favorites from ER.  Mostly they are all doing well, with their lives relatively "together," or more so than when they were living the crazy life on ER.  George Clooney, for example, has really settled down, matured, and is a calm and steady presence in a difficult situation.  Julianna Margulies has really come into her own - with awesome confidence and a real sense of self.  She really is George's equal...and his partner.

Lovely jokes among the cast.  A lovely demonstration of the next generation of ER's staff and that County General is clearly in good hands - and the "two generations" working together is so cool.  And I loved how it ended, with Julianna telling George that "the kidney went to some doctor."  She didn't even know it was their former colleague.  

I also love the way that we can "see" that their ... um.... lives do go on.  (sorry for the wretched Celine Dion reference)  Even after this episode, their lives will continue, and we have both a sense of closure and a little bit of joy knowing some of how it turned out.  

This week I was talking with someone from church who is also a Monk fan.  This summer is the last season, and he said he hoped that Monk finally finds out who kills his wife.  I am more ambivalent.  It would be good to know, but on the other hand, there's a certain bittersweet joy in imagining Monk carrying on in his neuroses and his struggle to understand what happened to his wife, and why.  I like to imagine him going on doing what he did in the time I "knew" him.  In a way, it makes him more real, more human.  

And yes, I know he's a character and not real.  But good television lets you imagine that they are.  

Live-Blogging ER, part four

9:45pm definitely should not flip over to Private Practice at commercial.  I don't even watch this show!

9:46pm back to the ER, and Noah Wyle's surgery.  (Oh, Dr. Benton!  That was his name!)  Way to be an awesome advocate for Noah's health care needs.  Please let it go okay.  (Yes, I pray for television characters.)

9:48PM Way to advocate for the heart patient.....and we are back to Noah's surgery.  Arterial thrombosis....And holy crap Eriq La Salle just schooled the surgeon!  Now we see the benefit of a teaching hospital like County General.

9:50pm fibrillation!  ... and baby momma.  The baby is so cute!  Has Angela Bassett still not figured out that this girl is the mom?  I saw that in the first minute.  (Please - I should write for television.)  She should have figured it out when the girl left the ER the first time.  

9:53pm.  Nice new kidney Noah Wyle.  Only doctors can have this kind of humor.  And only doctors would call urine "liquid gold."  And only a doctor would wait until AFTER surgery to call his almost-ex-wife to tell him about his kidney transplant.

9:55pm - Kid with mom and her new heart.  Seeing the new generation take over....awwww.

9:56pm.  Julianna and George in bed.  Mmmmm.  They don't even know which doctor got the kidney.  That it was their friend and former colleague.  I love that.

Live-Blogging ER, part three

9:35PM OK maybe it's not Jamie-Lynn Sigler.  It's not on IMDB anyway, either on ER's episode cast or her page.  But who is it then?  It sure looks like her.

9:39pm Seriously - no plane?  Jerks!  Of course that would happen.  Loved the bit about the human heart.  And, "Do you like reggae?"  (um, sort of)

"You married a sister?"  Nice.  Nice.  "She's half-Congolese...grew up in Paris."  So....she's not really a sister? ... it doesn't really count?  That's just kind of weird.  Maybe I'm overthinking it.  Maybe he was just trying to tell Eriq something about her.

But Eriq's right.  She should know about it.  And of course he'll do the right thing and stay with Noah.  

"Do you like reggae?"  Nice.  They do do a good job with repeating lines like that in different contexts....good television.

Oh, and yes, I realize I'm using the actors' names, because I've forgotten half of their character names and it's just easier to be consistent and use all actor names.

Live-Blogging ER, part two

What's the kid from Sopranos doing on ER?  She's playing a character named Daria.  Can't think of the actress' name.

9:23 pm ....and there's Eriq La Salle.  So many dreamy guys on this show... Love that they are all, in their own ways, catching up on old times.  Nice to hear how these characters and their lives have evolved "off-stage" over the years.  

9:25 back in Seattle.  George Clooney and Julianna Margulies were among my favorite characters back in the day, so I like seeing them again.  (I also liked Noah Wyle and had a soft spot in my heart for Eriq La Salle's character, in part because of his deaf son.)  These two are an artful team - I'd give them my own kidney if they asked.....

Live-Blogging ER, part one

9:17PM Just got the computer from Backbencher...OMG this ep is amazing!  I knew we'd be seeing Noah Wyle and Julianna Margulies, but George Clooney?!?!?!  He's amazing.  They're amazing.  And Susan Sarandon is just the sort of guest star you want for such an episode.

It's been a long time since I watched ER consistently, but I've totally been sucked in to these eps with the guest stars of the past....

Noah Wyle's character has kidney failure, apparently.  And there's a transplant team from County General that Julianna and George .... oh, wait, George just revealed himself to the gals.  catching up on old times.

9:20pm ooh, evidently G and J have kids.  "girls"

Plus the normal insanity of the ER....God I love this show.

Apparently...

The correct term for one who is from Utah is Utahn.  Who knew?  That's the important takeaway from this article.  Oh, and MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice are teaming up for a concert in Orem, Utah.

And no, Shar, I'm so not going to this concert.  I already saw one of them once; it was more than enough.  I'm not that white.  I swear.  I read TNC and everything!

(h/t Ta-Nehisi Coates)

Something Nice About the Catholic Church

They held a very nice Mass for my grandmother last week.  Props to St. Ambrose Parish in Elkton, Florida and to the priest.  It's a lovely little church in the middle of almost-nowhere near East Palatka, with relatively good memories for me, and if you're ever in the area, please go check it out.  The current priest, Fr. Edward Booth is very good and personable, and of course the former priest, Fr. Patty, will always live cheerfully in my memory as a kind and generous soul in the deeply upsetting situation of my Papa's funeral.  His radiance, a reflection of Christ's light, continues to brighten my memories of this place.  The new priest only added to my fondness of the place.  Also, I love that as you walk in the doors of the church, you are greeted with a picture of Pope John Paul II.  

The new priest did a fine job and I was once again reminded how deeply central to the liturgy the Eucharist is.  (I know, duh.)  Then, we walked - walked! - from the church to the cemetery, with the hearse following behind (until they passed us...).  It was beautiful.  Out of a movie.  Only better, because it was real life.  At the grave, the priest did a very lovely committal.  Then my uncle and cousin got up in turn to share stories of Nana.  

You all will be surprised to know that I didn't share anything at the service; I was content to be a granddaughter.  Also, my uncle shared this passage, which expressed my resurrection hope just about perfectly:

 "I am standing upon the seashore.  A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.  She is an object of beauty and strength, and I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come down to meet and mingle with each other.  Then someone at my side says, 'There!  She's gone!'  Gone where?  Gone from my sight, that is all.  She is just at large in the mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side, and just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of her destination.  Her diminished size is in me, and not in her.  And just at that moment, when some one at my side says, 'There! She's gone!' there are other eyes that are watching for her coming and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, 'There she comes!' "

 It is attributed to Henry Van Dyke, and calls to mind of all those who took up the glad shout "There she comes!" to greet my Nana.  Papa.  Uncle Bud.  My maternal grandparents.  Others I do not know and may never know.  What a joy to know she is not, has not ever been, alone.

Thanks be to God for the gift of life in Jesus Christ, and the new life that awaits us beyond the grave.  

The Sacrifice of Women's Bodies

....seems to be pretty acceptable in the eyes of the Catholic Church hierarchy.  Where do I even begin?

First of all, I know this story is kind of old for some of y'all, but have mercy.  I've been in Florida with my family and Backbencher's for the past several days for my Nana's funeral.  

Second of all, let me also acknowledge that some of y'all reading may in fact be Catholic and/or pro-life.  There is much I admire about the Catholic Church, and its relatively consistent ethic toward life is one of those things (I may not agree with their stance on abortion, but at least they oppose war, too....unlike other pro-life, pro-military 'churches' in this country).  But this is ridiculous.

A nine-year-old girl is repeatedly raped by her stepfather.  Repeatedly.  She becomes pregnant with twins - often a high-risk pregnancy even for adult women, and more so in a girl who has barely reached puberty and whose hips have not widened enough to give birth to one child, much less two, even assuming she survives the pregnancy and the concomitant changes to her internal anatomy - as a result of this rape.  Doctors perform an abortion to save her life, and they and her mother are excommunicated by their bishop.

The MSNBC article notes that, "Despite the nature of the case, the church had to hold its line against abortion."  Thank you, Archbishop Sobrinho.  Because apparently women's bodies - or children's bodies, in this case - are less important to the church than are the theological ethic of life that leads the church to have what they call a "pro-life" stance.  What is it that Lincoln said? "I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it."  Or, again, whose CHILDREN are not better for it.

Some of you may be saying, "What about the fetuses that are aborted?  Don't they deserve to be treated better?"  Here's the thing.  Sometimes that is a false argument - to choose between the life of the mother and the life of the fetus (or, in this case, fetuses).  Without the abortion, the nine-year-old would have died, and so would have the lives growing her womb.  An ethic of life that leads to a forced death - not a death this little child CHOSE (which is the death of Jesus) but one that was forced upon her by her rapist stepfather - is no ethic of life whatsoever.  Again, the sacrifice of women's bodies seems to be an acceptable one of the church hierarchy.  

But I am here to tell you, by whatever authority I have as a child of God baptized into the church of Jesus Christ and as an ordained minister within a mainline Christian denomination, the sacrifice of women's bodies is not an acceptable sacrifice to God.  The sacrifice of human bodies, if it was ever acceptable to God (and boys and girls, that is a debate for another day), is no longer acceptable after the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.  

In short, the sacrifice of women's bodies on the altar of "pro-life" is not acceptable to God.

Oh, and did we mention the stepfather has not been excommunicated by the Church?  Because apparently the ongoing rape of a child is not an excommunicable offense.  I wonder, what would it take for such a one to be excommunicated?  

Creationist Gets Pwned

My, my, my.  I've been trying to figure out from blog-context (blogtext?) what "pwned" meant, to little avail.  I gathered enough to figure out that it is similar to what we old folks used to say about someone getting "schooled," but that was as far as I'd gotten.  (I only use the urban dictionary in extreme cases or if I have some sort of unreasonable deadline.)

Then, I came across this.  (thanks RussellKing @ Street Prophets)  And all became clear.  

Poor Discovery Institute.  Now you know what it means to be pwned, too.  SUCKA!

Well, This is Interesting

James Dobson is resigning from the Focus on the Family board. The article states that this will "lessen his administrative burden" while keeping speaking on his radio programs and write the monthly newsletter.

The march of time includes us all, I suppose. Some are hoping this will hasten the end of FotF's relevance in evangelical culture, with younger evangelical families tending not to froth at the mouth every time the words "abortion," "gay marriage," or "feminism" is mentioned (issues FotF seem to be built to oppose), and who tend to be concerned about issues like the environment and feeding the hungry (issues FotF seems to give little heed to). Perhaps.

We're seeing a sea change of this generation's evangelical leaders retiring and a resultant implosion of their ministries (Crystal Cathedral, Oral Roberts University, to name two others). I would like to see evangelicalism embrace a wider agenda - though, not really being a part of the "club" I guess I don't really get a vote in how they view the world. And there are opportunities for that; it just seems as if evangelicalism is entering a new era of uncertainty. Will they continue to embrace a "cult of personality" approach with one central leader, or will they embrace postmodernity in a sense and give voice to multiple leaders, who may not speak univocally on the issues of the day?

I dare not speculate at the moment, but I suspect that these organizations will face the same problems that every organization faces when its founders die off....including the Church. (But that's another blog post.)

Shameless Self-Promotion

The Clarinda Herald-Journal has a review of "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten," the community theater production of which I'm currently a part. Go check it out. Then come back tell me how great the show is (it really is terrific!).

Better yet, come see it yourself - the run ends this weekend, with shows tonight and tomorrow at 7:30pm and the Sunday matinee at 2:30pm.

Deep Thought

What happens when the expression "jumps the shark" ... itself jumps the shark?

Remember That Thou Art Dust, and To Dust Thou Shalt Return

The Order for Tonight's Ash Wednesday Service

Words of Adoration
Search us, O Lord. Know our hearts and know the deepest chambers of our spirits. Invite us, as living souls, to enter into the life eternal Christ offers in this and every moment.
Words of Welcome
Welcome to this evening’s Ash Wednesday service.
Lent stretches for forty days from Ash Wednesday until Easter, not counting Sundays. In this season of penitence, the church invites us – individually and communally – to reflect on all that keeps us from full union with God and holy relationships with one another. We hear again the stories of Jesus' ministry and the people he encountered, and we seek like them to be made whole by his touch and his love.
Later in this service, I will ask you, if you feel so moved, to come forward to receive ashes on either your forehead or your hand. The words we use at this imposition are ancient: “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” See these words not as harsh judgment for our imperfections, but a humble acknowledgement of our frail humanity, a holy recognition that we are not invincibile, and a devout renunciation of our desire and practice to live as if we were in the place of God. Though we are dust, that is not all that we are. We are also blessed creatures possessed of mighty wonder, passionate power, and daily grace - all gifts from a loving God.

Prayer of Readiness
Leader: Let us pray.
People: God, this is a hard time. The focus of Lent is on the pain and suffering of Jesus and our own need for penitence. It is a time of gathering darkness. But we would rather skip this part and go straight to Easter. We would rather ignore the suffering—in you and in the world—and avoid the hard work of true self-examination. Forgive us for wanting this to be bright and painless and easy, when we know that Jesus did not take the easy way, but chose the path of the Cross. Teach us the true meaning of penitence, so that we use this Lenten season to humbly seek a clean heart and a renewed spirit. We pray in the name Jesus Christ. Amen.

We Hear the Word of God
Scripture Readings:
Hebrew Scriptures ~ Isaiah 58: 1-12
Psalm 51: 1-17
Gospel Lesson ~ Matthew 11: 28-30

Reflection: Power, Need and Brokenness

We Respond to God’s Call
Litany of Confession
Leader: God, from the depths of your creative power you have shaped the world in love and beauty. You have given to human beings the gift of vision, the power of imagination, and the will to do the good.
People: We confess to you, O God, that we have neglected all that you have given us, have squandered our gifts and wasted precious time.
Leader: We have given in to the sin of pride and self-satisfaction, thinking ourselves better than our brothers and sisters. We have lived inauthentic lives, trying to be that which we are not in order that others will not see who we truly are.
People: Have mercy on us, O Lord of all that lives and breathes.
Leader: We have let ourselves be ruled by fear and anxiety rather than faith and hope. We have let the world change us rather than work to change the world.
People: Have mercy upon us, O Lord of all that has been made.
Leader: We have given in to judgmentalism and a lack of grace in our hearts. We let partisan beliefs and divided opinions divide our hearts and our relationships with other.
People: Have mercy upon us, O God of all people and nations.
Leader: We have given in to apathy about the world’s conditions, circling the wagons around ourselves rather than enlarging your welcome to all who have need of you in this and every time.
People: Have mercy upon us, O Author of Days.
Leader: We have been indifferent to the sufferings of others and of the sinful systems that oppress the poor and people of color throughout the world. We have strived for power and glory instead of seeking to follow you humbly.
People: Have mercy upon us, O God of the dirt and the gutter.
Leader: We have treated the earth with disdain, as if it were one more possession to use and throw away. We have not cared for what dwells upon this planet, and we have abused the very things you made in love.
People: Have mercy upon us, O God of earth and air and water and fire.
Leader: O God, hear in our voices and see in our hearts the desire for true repentance, and help us to find the way back to you.
People: Come to us, Lord of our lives, and show us the fullness of your great mercy.

Time of Silence

Receiving of Ashes

Leader: Accomplish in us, O God, the work of your salvation,
People: That we may reflect your light and glory.
Leader: By the life and death and transformation of Jesus Christ,
People: Bring our minds and hearts to such a depth of understanding that we, too, accept the full promise and challenge of your love.

Benediction
Go now, marked with the sign of Christ's outrageous love, to live as God's humble children in service to our broken and blessed world. And may the Holy Spirit be with you today, tomorrow, and in the life that is to come. Amen and amen.

This service includes elements taken or adapted from traditional sources, the UCC Book of Worship, and www.processandfaith.org.

I Just Couldn't Do It

After all those years of "speeches" by GWB over the years, I just couldn't bring myself to watch much of President Obama's Address to Congress last night. I just couldn't do it. It's not that I don't love our new president, because I do. And it's not that I don't think he's a great speaker, because I do.

But I will admit that there were times during the campaign when his rhetoric didn't match what I knew he was capable of. Without tanking, he just wasn't what I knew he could be. His speech on race was actually what finally tipped me from being a lukewarm supporter to a passionate advocate for his election, because it was then that I saw him give the speech I had known all along was inside of him. And while he has seldom disappointed me since that day in terms of his speeches, I just couldn't get into it last night.

I watched part of it, and was impressed that so often the entire chamber applauded at his words (I remember so many States of the Union where one side sat stone-faced throughout the entire speech), and it was very nice to be spoken to like a grown-up for a change, but still....my attention just faded in and out. No doubt it was due to 1) being gunshy after so many terrible, terrible States of the Union (GWB was deeply annoying with his "noun, verb, 9/11" routine, too), and 2) just plain being sad at my Nana's death. Instead, I focused more on making travel arrangements and talking to Backbencher's family, with whom we'll be staying for part of our trip.

And Gov. Jindal's response was so, well, just plain ludicrous, that I had to go bathe the dogs. It was treacly, and it was much less a response to the President's speech than it was an opportunity to position himself as a credible conservative in the folksy, feel-good mold of Ronald Reagan. Gag me with a spoon! His bi-partisan stuff was okay, and a step in the right direction (though Backbencher will argue that point, I'm sure), and he was far less prickly than other responses have been in the past (again, that chipper Gipper routine); but, my God, the man is a political wonk with a Harvard degree and is a Rhodes scholar. Man up to your identity and your intelligence, and give us more of that! I might not agree with you, but at least we can wrestle with substance together.

In the end, I'm kind of sorry I missed President Obama's speech, because the more I hear of it, the better it sounds. He, at least, gives us what we need: frank and honest assessments of where we're at, an acknowledgement that we have different ways we'd like to get to the places we'd like to be, and SUBSTANCE that we can tussle with. Like Jacob at the river, wrestling with God - this is what I want in a President.

Nana

So....we may be a little busy here at Casa Liturgygeek, what with Lent starting and all.  

Also, my grandmother died this morning.  Lots I'd like to say at the moment, but I think I might wait until I can gather them into something a little more coherent than, "She was fierce, and awesome, and I love her a lot."

Oh, and this is just for fun

Christians who hate the haters who claim to be Christians? Check out this blog! (And, since the title of the blog is wtfwjdbitch, consider yourself warned on the language front.)

h/t Dan Savage

This Is Why I Do What I Do

...and why I believe what I do about reproductive health, access and justice, and why as a Christian minister I support Roe v. Wade. Right here. This is why. Go and read.

And Matthew, bless you for all that you do, all that you are, and all that you were for this family.

This One's For Shar

Just a reminder that I am not, nor do I any longer in any way whatsoever (nor did I ever closely), resemble Tonya Harding.
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?cl=12101109

G-mo, it was your stupid friend who said that in the first place. I still blame you, because I don't remember who he was.

Internet Down...

...at Casa Liturgygeek/Backbencher. Still. So that's why the lack of posts. That, and I've been insanely busy getting ready for the premiere of our community theatre show - in the brand-new theater! We open tomorrow and tickets are still available.

Hopefully we'll get our wireless up and running in the next day or so....and just you wait! I've been mulling over that Viagra sermon, and with no preaching duties this week (thank you, blessed Intern!), I just may get to writing it for y'all.

Coming Out

So, the time has come. I need to come out.

I Jazzercise.

There, I said it.

I used to blame "Pope" Laura for this. When I interviewed for the church I currently serve, she, the chair of the search committee, invited me to join her for a class. Maybe partly to show off the new Y, and partly to see how I dealt with strangers? I saw it as a test, kind of, and thought it'd probably be good if I went. Well, everyone was super-friendly (it is Iowa), no one yelled at my ridiculously poor rhythm, and when they asked if I'd be back, both Laura and I kind of looked at each other and said, "Hopefully." As in, hopefully I'd get called to the church, and hopefully I'd want to go back to Jazzercise. I really wanted the former, but I wasn't sure about the latter.

I'm a little ashamed to admit that before I moved to Iowa, I had a rather snobby attitude regarding Jazzercise, seeing it mostly as something that white, middle-aged Midwestern women did to try to stay in shape. It's the vestige of being a former collegiate athlete, I suppose, but I saw Jazzercise mostly as a gateway activity until I got myself motivated to run or swim more consistently. The music is pretty good and the moves are all right, but I always found myself snickering on the inside (and sometimes on the outside) when I confessed to Jazzercising. I was embarrassed to admit it, especially to my running friends.

Well, five-plus years in, and I'm ready to come out. First of all, I admit that I had a lot of misconceptions about Jazzercise. In our community there are tons of young people who Jazzercise - I've met most of my friends in town there. (Also, when I visited Backbencher in Georgia, the class was very multicultural.) Second of all, the workouts are pretty good. If I went more often, I'd probably be in better shape. You should see what Judi Sheppard Missett looks like - she's as old as my mom and she is hotter than ... well, she's in outstanding shape, let's just say that. (Or, judge for yourself.) Our instructors, Sandy, Carrie and Tina are also incredible, each in their own way. Third of all, the main instructor refers to me as "the stripping minister" and everyone thinks it's hilarious! Especially me. Sandy is a riot. If nothing else, your abs will get a great workout from all the laughing. Fourth of all, my friend Shar's little sis sometimes teaches Jazzercise. And anything connected to Shar is automatically cool.

We lovingly refer to becoming a part of the Jazzer community as "joining the cult." And, I've drunk the Kool-Aid. It is a great community and I'm no longer ashamed of who I am.

Oh, and unlike teh gayz, we recruit. See you in class, 5:45 pm most evenings at the Montgomery County Y, 8:45 am on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. If you are insane, join Tina at 5:45 am on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tell them "the stripping minister" sent you - they know me there.

Fidelity

Catch this video (yah, I'm still learning how to embed these things, so for now you'll just have to click the link).

I won't rehash the marriage equality arguments here, or give a big shout-out to my moms, who are among the 18,000+ couples legally wed in California. But for those of you who are married, try to imagine if someone tried to force you to get divorced. Literally force you. Like, going to court against your will to forcibly have your marriage ENDED. Bet you'd love that.

Ironically, the same people who want to force these married people to be forcibly divorced are the same people who lament the "casualness" with which heterosexuals enter and leave "traditional marriage." So, the best way for our culture to honor marriage vows is to ... force happily married people to not be married to each other any longer? Way to honor the sanctity of marriage, you jerks. (Backbencher, who's from the South, says I can say, "Bless their hearts" at the end of that sentence and it doesn't count as an insult.)

h/t Street Prophets and The Pocket Mardis

Oh, God, the Snark!

Have you seen those ridiculous Snuggie commercials? It is a weird pitch for a 'blanket' that looks more like some creepy secret society cult ritual robe. Well, I came across a hilarious ad parodying it that I simply felt I had to share. Check it out here; but fair warning, the language is a little coarse and not for tender ears or for people who are sensitive about such things. Sorry, Moms.

h/t Scratchbomb.com

Jesus in Worship?

Last week, I had an interesting experience at PSR's Earl Lectures.  

As probably most of you know, I attended PSR, an extremely progressive UCC seminary in Berkeley, CA.  It is also interdenominational (not non-denominational), which means we have students from all sorts of religious backgrounds.  UCC, obviously, and also DOC, UMC, and MCC.  But also Swedenborgians, UUAs, and a smattering of students from other denominations.  When I was there, the range was pretty broad - from Episcopalian to Church of Religious Science to someone who was really about the Urantia Book/Movement to a Buddhist to .... well, you get the idea.

Naturally, worship was fraught with all sorts of peril.  Inclusive language for God was pretty much the expected norm, which meant that people could say "Goddess" but "Father" raised some gasps.  "Lord," pretty much out of the question.  Jesus could maybe be used, but too much orthodoxy (bodily resurrection, Jesus as divine Son of God, etc.) was definitely looked at somewhat askance.  There was a lot of intellectualizing our faith, showing off how smart and theologically astute we were, as opposed to too much confessional/devotional language.  We were earnest and this is definitely where we were at the time, but in retrospect there were some different things I might have liked a bit more.

Having grown up in a progressive UCC tradition, the inclusive language for God was not really a problem for me.  But, I confess I sometimes found it kind of annoying that "inclusive language" too often meant "really generic language" or occasionally "deliberately provocative language."  *sigh*

Examining the language  we use for God is always something I favor, as well as a robustly intellectual faith.  But one thing we didn't do too much in seminary was acknowledge that some people have legitimately examined their language, and they still find "Father" language to be what moves them.  That is not a sign of an intellectually vacant faith.  

Yet I was still really, really shocked by the closing worship at Earl Lectures.  I think "surreal and confusing" was the wording I used in a text to a friend I was supposed to meet for worship, but got late to because ... worship went longer than I expected.  There was praise music - with relatively progressive theology.  There was Jesus language.  Someone said "Lord."  Repeatedly.  Did I mention the praise music?  

I confess that it was very weird for me.  On the one hand, I was really happy to hear Jesus mentioned at my seminary.  On the other hand, praise music kind of annoys me, even if it has a good theology.  Back to the first hand, the worship team at PSR (worship professor Andrea Bieler, director of worship Andrea Davidson and music director Aeri Lee) are freaking awesome!  And the students who are also involved in worship planning are also pretty outstanding, including that Pentecostal student.  Wow!  

On the other hand, did I mention how WEIRD it was?  Jesus, Pentecostal-y stuff, praise music, professors authentically revealing their faith in appropriate ways, and, um, Jesus.  Who knew?  

I'm still processing it.  I'm so used to my worship experiences at PSR to be more intellectual than devotional, with little Jesus-as-Savior, that I did not know what to make of what I experienced at the closing of Earl Lectures.   It was everything I could have hoped for...and yet I was also really uncomfortable.  I tried to pretend it was on behalf of others who might be uncomfortable (you know, solidarity and all)....but the truth is that I was a little weirded out by the whole thing.

And it's not as if I never use Jesus as Lord language - I rather believe that progressive Christianity ought to reclaim that language.  Or that I'm opposed to praise music....okay, I kind of am, but that's really more a personal preference as opposed to some sort of theological stance.  And this praise music had really good theology!  Or that I'm not appropriately self-revelatory in my preaching and praying.  I think and hope that I am.

So, I don't know exactly what it was, but the whole thing was so bizarre.

Recovering Fundamentalists

So, I have to confess that I've not had much experience with fundamentalist churches as a parishioner.  I grew up in the UCC, with a significant detour into Lutheranism.  Now, to be honest, those Lutherans were Missouri Synod, which here in the Midwest pretty much counts as fundamentalist to many.  But this was in California, and the minister was really progressive, so if you'd asked me which branch of Lutheranism our church was, I would have said ELCA for sure.  But even at Faith Lutheran, I strongly identified as UCC, primarily because of my participation at Camp Caz, a UCC camp in Northern California.

So I've never gotten the whole struggle with the Bible and homosexuality, or the Bible and earth stewardship, or the whole thing about the world coming to an end in our lifetimes.  I'm trying not to judge folk who believe that homosexuality is a sin, or that we shouldn't care about loving the earth because Jesus is coming soon to destroy it, or I'll be carried away in the Rapture, but this stuff is just not.for.me.

Maybe it's because I've never had to reject the theologies of fundamentalism, never had to recover from the spiritual abuse that so many experienced in these traditions, that I'm less defensive or afraid of engaging it, or of being in relationship with people who share these theologies. Even though I totally disagree with what so many of them believe.

In fact, I have a strange love for these folk.  And especially (though unsurprisingly) for those who leave such traditions in favor of a more inclusive Christian gospel of unconditional love.  In that vein, I encourage you to go read this blog.  It's written by the ex-wife of a Christian singer Ray Boltz, who came out a while ago, and it is just sweet and wonderful and I'm learning a lot about straight spouses in what is known as a "mixed-orientation" marriage.  And, how we can minister to such people.

By the way, my seminary president Bill "Shut up!" McKinney pointed out a while ago that I always had an openness to more conservative/traditional/fundamentalist theologies, even though I often think I'm about as liberal as they come, and that maybe that's why I'm more open to this kind of stuff now in my ministry.  It seems as if people have a hard time putting me in a theological box, what with believing in the bodily resurrection of Jesus AND in marriage equality for gays and lesbians and all.