Tuesday, August 04, 2009

This One is For Sleazy Nate

Ah, Sleazy Nate.  Where would I be without the endless stories and laughter he has provided over the years?  I dated Sleazy Nate for a few months in college, until the utter disregard with which he treated me (which can be summarized by the phrase "three other girls in three other states") finally reached a tipping point with my self-esteem.  I suppose I *could* have dumped him earlier .... but we know that sad story.  The good news is, eventually I did get my act together and break up with him, and it made for some hilarious moments later on down the line.  Plus, he has the BEST nickname of all my exes.

Now he's a rather famous "artist," and I only use the quotes because he's an artist who makes things out of Legos.  Yes, Legos.  He took the fantasy of an eight-year-old and turned it into a career.  He gave up a law career to become a master builder at Legoland, and now makes ungodly sums of money creating life-size "sculptures" of various things.  He's not bad, actually.  But, God, he's (still) pretentious - bless his heart.   The weirdest thing was seeing him on Letterman with my then-father-in-law Si.  How do you say to your FIL, "Oh, I used to [ahem] go out with* that guy?"  (You don't.  You tell him you knew him in college and leave it at that.)

Once, at a bar (I wasn't drinking, Ma, I swear!), I found myself at one end of a table full of girls Sleazy Nate had either dated or hooked up with.  SN was at the other end of the table.  I called out to him, let my eyes gaze along the length of the table, and looked back.  He almost walked out with his then-girlfriend.  Apparently he's not so sleazy not to be shamed by some things, anyway.

I swear, though, no matter how sleazy Nate was, I never, ever, ever even considered this kind of plan.  Ladies, ladies, ladies - the best revenge is living well, not Krazy glue + genitals.  

* I was going to say "schtup" but apparently, one person does not schtup another.  Two (or presumably more than two) people schtup together.  Thank you, Urban Dictionary!  Plus, I'm pretty sure my in-laws read this blog....

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