LiturgyGeek

The Thing About Iowa

2011-12-14T12:18:00.003-06:00

So, some professor at the University of Iowa wrote an article for The Atlantic about Iowa. Well, I think it was supposed to be about Iowa's unsuitability at holding the first-in-the-nation caucus status, but it was hard to tell that his point wasn't just bashing Iowa until the very end of the article. As one of my dear parishioners wrote on his Facebook wall, "'Exaggerated Stereotypes, I'd like to introduce you to Assorted Facts. I think you'll get along well in this article,' said Dr. Bloom. 'Perhaps I will also include Inflammatory Remarks.'" What valid points he may have made (and there are a few valid points to be made) were lost in the sea of astonishingly inaccurate generalities and too-highly-weighted random facts and experiences.

Also, he really needed an editor. I can't get over how, on the one hand, we have all these cracked-out meth-heads and college students getting arrested for public intoxication, and on the the other hand, live in communities where the worst crime is tee-peeing a neighbors house. Which is it? Because, brother, it can't be both.

And he writes as if Iowa provincialism is some sort of unique trait to this heartland state. I lived in New York City for six years and I knew people who lived in fear of leaving the five boroughs for any reason (to be fair, some of them lived in fear of leaving just FOUR of the bureaus, if I may say so with apologies to my friends who live on Staten Island). True, NYC has more to commend it than does rural Iowa in terms of "stuff to do," but provincialism is provincialism, and it is everywhere in these United States. At least, it's everywhere I've been to (30+ states and counting).

If I may make one more point: as a Christian, I can almost promise you that when a college student tells you she's going to have to face a "come-to-Jesus talk" from her parents after being arrested for public intoxication, it probably doesn't mean her parents are going to tell her she needs to recommit herself to a life worthy of her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It probably means they are going to remind her that they don't pay good money to send their student to the University of Iowa so she can get drunk and pass out in public. And possibly do so while yelling at her. The term "come-to-Jesus talk" is a colloquial expression and you should probably know that.

Actually, he probably DOES know that and was just trying to be inflammatory. Which is all the more stupid, I think, because it utterly weakened his case. I'm surprised the dude is actually a journalism professor. He should know better. He should WRITE better.

He's been threatened and supposedly is a little afraid for his life now. I have mock a little bit - surely he can't think these rural farmers too afraid to use the interstate or even leave their little counties are REALLY out to get him, can he? All kidding aside, this article isn't worthy of threats to his life. I think it represents a threat to his CAREER as a journalist, but he shouldn't be facing death threats or anything like that for this article. So knock it off, angry Iowans.

Dr. Bloom has done a disservice to his career and to the state that he has lived in for 20 years. (See a lovely response here.) But even still, permit me to point out that if his house is burned down or his family faces an unexpected medical crisis, those same people he has mocked and belittled by his caricatures in this article will show up with casseroles, paper plates, napkins, love and money to help him out. Even if they think he's an ass. He knows that.

Why shouldn't THOSE people be the ones to get first crack at choosing the next president?

The War on Christmas/Christianity

2011-12-07T11:42:00.002-06:00

So, a local member of the clergy is running for city council. I don't criticize, because I am myself an elected official, having been elected to the school board for some years now. However, I had to laugh out loud when I read the reasons WHY he said he was running for council. They included a comment about how, in the founding days of this country, people who weren't professing Christians and active in their congregations didn't get elected. As if the good ole days of witch-burnings and Puritan overbearing in public life is something to be CELEBRATED. (I won't point out what those early Christians would have thought of his religious tradition, which wouldn't be much. We've come a long way, congregationalists.)

And since it's Advent, it's also time for the annual "War on Christmas" ridiculousness that gets peddled about by some of my brothers and sisters in Christ, including this fellow. Permit me to point out that in the "good ole days" when only professing Christians got to hold public office, CHRISTMAS WAS OUTLAWED. One is tempted to say, "Dude, learn some history," but it seems indelicate. UnChristian, even. So I shall not say it.

His statement of intent to file also included his belief that there is a war against Christianity in this country, with "no prayer in schools," the Ten Commandments being removed from public buildings, and the supposed mocking of Christians. (Backbencher dryly noted that if there's a war on Christianity, it certainly isn't happening in this little corner of SW Iowa.)

Well, I happen to agree with my colleague that there's a war on Christianity, but the forces assailing us aren't the "secularists" (a vague term used by some that includes anyone from the ACLU to those who profess other faiths to, of course, atheists). The forces assailing Christianity are far closer than that. They are the forces within Christianity that convince us that prayer in schools and the public posting of Ten Commandments are the battles Christians should be fighting.

Jesus was pretty clear that at the final judgment, he's not going to ask if we insisted on praying in his name at public events, or if we made a many-tonned block with the Ten Commandments on it. He's going to separate us by those who fed the hungry, gave drink to the thirsty, gave clothes to the naked, and visited those who were sick and in prison, and those who failed to see Jesus in their fellow brothers and sisters.

So long as we permit people to be hungry, homeless, naked and lonely, the war on Christianity continues. Perhaps this Advent season, we could work a little harder to fight those battles, and let store employees off the hook for wishing us "Happy Holidays."

Ah, Vestments

2011-11-14T09:18:00.004-06:00

Serving a small congregation, it isn't often that I have a wedding or a funeral, much less one of each in a span of 20 hours. But such was last week. A man whom I had married to his beloved several years ago died unexpectedly on Monday, which was the start of an interesting week. For months now, I've been working with a couple in our congregation who have been planning their wedding. Both of them love Jesus, but one of them claims a Christian identity, while the other does not any longer.

It's not often I get asked to do stuff like write prayers to the four directions or to incorporate smudging in our congregational life. (More's the pity, I think.) Asperging - sure. Smudging? Not so much among these white former Congregationalists. So the planning of the wedding was a great deal of fun. The rehearsal was not as much fun, as we navigated the challenges of all the various rituals involved. This was on my day off, and I had already spent two hours visiting with the widow of the man who had died earlier in the week.

The nature of our work is that we both practice self-care and model appropriate boundaries, but we also are always on-call. I'd already planned to do the rehearsal that day, so I was prepared to make up some Sabbath time later in the week. That didn't really happen, and I hadn't thought enough ahead to take some self-care time earlier, so I was relying on lots of my prayer reserves.

The wedding was fabulous. The brides were radiant, and the liturgy we'd crafted together happened beautifully. The Spirit was alive and celebrating with us! I slipped out of the reception to nip over to the funeral home in time to catch the family before they left the visitation, and then returned to the church to celebrate some more. Spiritual/emotional whiplash, anyone? Fortunately, everyone knew what was going on, and everyone was as gracious as could be - both the widow and the brides.

The next morning, the funeral. It was a "full house" at the funeral home, and we celebrated life of, and mourned the untimely death of, this dear man. It hit me with great force on Saturday that we wear the same vestments to weddings and funerals (and baptisms, too). Of course, I can articulate the theological reasons why this is so, but the yoke of Christ I wear for such occasions - a white stole with gold crosses on either side (the long bar of the cross is one band that runs the length of the stole, with two crosses at my chest) made for me by a member of the church where I did my field education - felt heavier than usual. The magnitude of this calling weighed on me more deeply, reminding me of the burden that comes with this office.

It is a joyous burden, most of the time. But this weekend, it was a heavy load.

What a privilege this congregation has bestowed on me, to permit me to minister at these joyous and tragic events. I pray that I am worthy .... and then turn my prayers to those who need them more than I do. To the widow who has lost her husband too soon, may she know consolation and peace. To the brides who have committed themselves to each other, may they always know joy together, and may our culture come to value their marriage as it does my own.

Expanding the Welcome

2011-10-12T10:21:00.003-05:00

I daresay that those of you who read this blog agree with the statement that the church should be a place of extravagant welcome, where all people are invited to participate and share in the life of the community. Congregations struggle to varying degrees about how to live out that welcome when it comes to GLBT persons, people of different races or social classes, and sexual offenders - to name just a few.

But the other day I had an interesting conversation with a colleague who's struggling with welcoming another kind of family. The congregation this colleague serves takes extremely seriously the baptismal covenant it offers, and they consider themselves a congregation that doesn't do a lot of baptisms for people who are there just for the "insurance policy" but don't seem to have an honest intention of living out the baptismal promises.

In the UCC's Book of Worship, our baptismal covenant includes these questions of the candidates' parents (I've edited them to read in the singular):

Do you desire to have your child baptized into the faith and family of Jesus Christ?

Will you encourage this child to renounce the powers of evil and to receive the freedom of new life in Christ?

Will you teach this child that s/he may be led to profess Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior (we say "center of his/her faith")?

Do you promise, by the grace of God, to be Christ's disciple(s), to follow in the way of our Savior, to resist oppression and evil, to show love and justice, and to witness to the work and word of Jesus Christ as best you are able?

Do you promise, according to the grace given you, to grow with this child in the Christian faith, to help this child to be a faithful member of the church of Jesus Christ, by celebrating Christ's presence, by furthering Christ's mission in all the world, and by offering the nurture of the Christian church so that s/he may affirm his/her baptism?

Lately, my colleague's congregation has had a few families who have gone through the motions of the pre-baptism class, had their child baptized, and have disappeared. Another family, whom my colleague suspects will be doing the same thing, is due to have their child baptized this week. This colleague is struggling. How do we offer this sacrament when it seems clear that the family has no intention of following through? My colleague will, of course, do te baptism, but there's some frustration there.

This is not a unique struggle. All of us clergy who take the sacraments seriously face this question, for we've all been there. And if it's not for a baptism, then we've experienced this for a wedding. I had a mentor once who said he almost always did weddings and baptisms even if he knew he'd never see the family again because he didn't think it was right to deprive anyone of an expression of God's grace. At the time I didn't really get it, but I think I'm starting to.

Furthermore, of all the families in the church, this family probably needs the grace found in the sacrament more than most. And, without minimizing the seriousness of the covenant or our anger and frustration at those who seem to take these promises far less seriously than we do, our job is to share the grace of God and to teach people that this grace is free, but it isn't cheap. We do that in the full liturgical and educational and missional expressions of the life of the church, but we have to do both. We have to OFFER the grace freely even as we teach the costly nature of that gift.

What if we took the opinion that these "splash and dash" families (ugh - I really don't like that expression) really are taking those promises seriously, but that for a whole host of reasons they are only able, even relying on God's help and grace, to do a crap job of living up to those promises? Then the question becomes, are such people welcome in our churches?

The Obligatory "I'm Back" Post

2011-10-01T09:47:00.003-05:00

This morning, one of my seminarian friends emailed me to tell me that she was planning to use the "Ritual of Welcome" I posted a couple of years ago in her contextual education placement. She said she was so grateful I had written it, I should send it to the UCC, etc. Well, naturally I was flattered.

I ended up reading through most of the posts I wrote in 2009, looking for that ritual. I noticed a few things:
1. I really did model my blog-writing after PeaceBang, she of Beauty Tips for Ministers. A little affected, but she's definitely the one to follow.
2. I wrote some pretty great stuff in 2009.
3. It's been a long time since I've written anything here.

I think I'm going to try to get a post a week up here, going forward. Naturally, there's been a lot going on since I last wrote. I had a baby girl, MC, who is now five months old and the apple of our eyes. I went to Synod, kicked butt and took names. Lots and lots of names. I decided that 2011 is going to be the year of boldness, and it's been working pretty well. I have continued to dream about running, but fitting exercise into an already-busy schedule with a baby who likes to be held non-stop has been a little tough. I finished teaching one class on vital small-church ministry, and am preparing for a few more teaching/speaking gigs on the topic. (Message me if you'd like me to come talk to you, your church, your conference/association/synod/presbytery/group.) I'm loving life.

But I miss blogging. I miss my interactions, real and imagined, with all of you. And I miss the discipline of writing something that I release into the universe pretty much immediately. It's scary and wonderful.

Required Reading: A Year of Visiting Churches

2011-02-22T11:19:00.003-06:00

Go check out this blog, by a man who's visiting all the religious communities in his neighborhood over the coming year. He recently went to an MCC church and found that the people there were less like Will and Grace and more like those seeking to know God's will and live in God's grace.

He's also been to a number of other churches, as well as a mosque. He is gracious, honest, and saves his harshest critiques for those whom I suspect he feels the closest theological affinity. But there's a lot of charity and grace in every post. I'm totally sucked in!

Appreciating My Colleagues

2011-02-10T16:31:00.003-06:00

I realized that my last few posts may be interpreted as "bashing" my clergy colleagues here. I knew I'd be the odd one out when I moved here, but I didn't realize by how much. It is truly challenging, and sometimes a little draining, to be the only clergy voice for progressive Christianity (or heck, even "middle-of-the-road" Christianity, for the most part), but I've accepted my role as a missionary for theological liberalism here. And, for the most part, it's well-received - at least to my face.

And while it's true that there is a lot of theological disagreement among us, it's also true that when we are face-to-face, at least, "Iowa nice" prevails. While I don't love all that "Iowa nice" is and means, I do find that I appreciate how it allows us to work together on what we can agree upon, and not waste all our time bickering over points of doctrine about which we'll never agree.

So, today I want to share some things I really cherish about my clergy colleagues in this community. All of these are snark-free:

1. We spend our time together focusing on what we can agree upon, not the many things that divide us.
2. We work to feed the hungry and provide spiritual nourishment to one another's members in a variety of ecumenical services throughout the year.
3. My colleagues "play nice" when they speak at our church for the Lenten Luncheon series (and they know I will, too, when I speak at their churches).
4. My fellow women ministers and I have some special bonds that have allowed us to peel back "Iowa nice" to discuss some of our differences rather frankly and respectfully, and to grow in genuine friendship and collegiality. There's a couple of services that our three churches do that "the guys" don't seem interested in. (More's the pity.)
5. My colleagues keep me honest, and help ground me in the text. We don't come to the same conclusions, but we draw from that common well.
6. We are genuinely interested in each other's personal lives - we rejoice when there is cause to rejoice, and we lift each other up in prayer in times of difficulty. (I wish we shared more, but I'm grateful for what we do share.)
7. We support some of each other's ministries, such as food pantries and soup kitchens. (I hope they'll also support a new mission venture we'll be starting soon.)
8. I am grateful that there are other churches besides ours in the community, because I know our church is not a perfect fit for all Christians. I'm grateful that I can say some true and wonderful things about my colleagues to those Christians who are looking for something we can't provide.
9. My colleagues welcomed our sabbatical pastor with open arms and truly made her feel welcome this summer.
10. I'll soon have a clergy colleague who is also pretty theologically progressive, and I look forward to our growing in faith, service, and perhaps joint ventures with our congregations!! I hope we can be a balm and boon for each other.

For my clergy friends, what do you appreciate about your colleagues and partners in ministry? And for my lay friends, what do you appreciate about collegial relationships among clergy leaders in your communities?

Stories Told and Untold

2011-01-31T13:53:00.004-06:00

Several days ago, a friend sidled up to me and said she wanted to show me something. It was the bulletin from her church’s Sunday worship the previous week. She had circled a responsive reading, which was all about “life” and abortion. I know this woman is pro-choice, and she was visibly upset. She proceeded to tell me that the whole service was on this theme, that her community’s crisis pregnancy center has moved into the church, and that the minister had said during the service that she’d hoped the church would step up and volunteer with this organization.

I listened to this woman share her anger and frustration. I listened as she shared sorrowful family history – a few generations back – that helped to form her pro-choice convictions to this day. In the midst of my anger and frustration, I began to think.

I thought, of course, of the many people who affirmed the message at this church service. They probably felt pleased that their pastor was taking a stand. They probably were challenged by her words that "all life is precious." I hope they heard in that the idea that it is not just the lives of the unborn that are precious, but that drug addicts and rapists and racists and other ne'er-do-wells are precious in God's eyes (though I'm a little skeptical that that happened, though there could be perfectly innocent reasons for that.)

But I also thought about the other women in this church who’d been present. I thought about how many of them had had abortions. I especially thought about a couple I know, who are largely pro-life but who had made the heart-wrenching decision to end a much-hoped-for pregnancy when they learned their son would never develop more than a brain stem before living for a few months in constant, excruciating pain. What would this service have been like for them?

And I began to think of some of the women I counsel. Those who have gotten pregnant after marital rape; those who have cheated on partners only to find themselves pregnant from that one-night stand; those who feel as though abortion is the only choice for them in their circumstance, but who also believe they should be sterilized at the same time because they will never be “worthy” to be parents again; those who have never heard a person of the cloth say that not all Christians oppose abortion, and who, upon hearing my voice, are just grateful that a minister is not judging them or telling them what to do, but simply affirming their journey with God and their heartfelt decision.

I wondered, Was there room in this worship service for these women? Was there a place for their experiences? Were these stories also told in the midst of all this “choosing life” and “abortion is murder”? And if not, why not?

It is not my place to tell my colleagues what to preach, when or how. For many, including me, this is an issue of justice (though my colleagues in this community do not agree with me on the nature of this justice), and I respect their right and duty to speak out as they feel called to do, just as I do.

But I still wonder. How many of the women in the pews, and their partners or children or friends, will be unable to share these burdens with their pastor for fear that they will be condemned? How many people will erect barriers between themselves and their communities of faith because they now believe it is unsafe to bring this part of their lives in the doors of the church? How many people will, like my friend and her husband, simply stew in their anger at the injustice of their church opposing abortion while also failing to support efforts that PREVENT the need for abortion? How many women will be shamed into silence, lest they be judged by the one person who is supposed to represent the love and grace of Christ to them?

I don’t always know the outcome of the stories these women tell me, and I have made my peace with that lack of knowledge. But their stories have become a part of me. Their grappling with competing needs, fears, and desires mirrors my own faith-wrestling. I do not want any of these stories to become “tokens” or two-dimensional images upon which we can project our own morality or judgment. So I cannot bear to see this issue reduced to an oversimplified choice between “good” (that is, continuing a pregnancy) and “evil” (that is, ending a pregnancy). These women and their families are very real to me, and I carry their stories inside of me. Their burdens have, in some small way, become my own, and I stand with them in the muck and the mess of our lives and together we wonder where and how God is at work, and to what ends. These lives matter, too. They are precious in God's sight.

Why, then, when there is so much talk of "life being precious," are these stories left untold?

Friend of the Blog

2011-01-27T14:34:00.002-06:00

I keep forgetting to add my dear friend to my blogroll. She's a fellow UCC solo pastor, a wise woman, wife and mother, and just all around awesome. Go check out her blog here.

Unexpected Gifts of Pregnancy

2011-01-27T10:18:00.001-06:00

When I announced to the church my pregnancy, I expected a variety of reactions. Almost everyone was excited and enthusiastic. I knew that for some, however, this joy was tempered. Some in this church have faced infertility. Some have chosen not to have children. Some have lost children, both in infancy and beyond.

I know the families who’ve lost children in this church. Some have lost them to suicide, to accidents, or to medical issues. Those stories have been shared with me tenderly and sorrowfully by the mothers and fathers. They have been shared with my by others in the church, who need for me to know why we can’t chop down that tree (it is a memorial tree).

I also know the stories of the couples who had tried for years to have children, only to make peace with their childlessness. Some of those wounds are decades old, but they still sting a little whenever a pregnancy is announced or a new baby brought to church. Their joy for others is often tempered with their own private sorrows.

And I know the stories of parents estranged from their children – and of children who’ve chosen estrangement from their parents. Sometimes I know the reasons behind these decisions, but sometimes the whole situation just seems like a sorrowful mystery to me, as it often is to the people involved. I am grateful for all these stories, even as my heart breaks for them.
But it wasn’t until I announced my pregnancy and began to talk freely about my fears of miscarriage that I began to hear those stories. Women told me about miscarriages they’d had, of the “successful” pregnancies they went on to have, and of how the latter did not cancel out the former, but did help provide a larger framework for their parenting. They spoke with a tinge of sadness for what they had lost, as well as thanksgiving for what they had. I quickly noticed that they only told these stories around other women who’d had children.

It has been a strange initiation into motherhood. These stories are seldom told outside of the church kitchen – if indeed, they make it into the doors of the church at all. Even though I’m an advocate for reproductive justice, and even though I’ve spoken of miscarriage, the loss of children, and childlessness in the past, and even though I’ve sat in these people’s homes for more than seven years, listening to their lives and praying with them, it has only been in the past few months that many people have chosen to share these stories with me.

It isn’t because they don’t feel the stories are important. And it isn’t because they are finally releasing a torrent of information now that I can relate. Somehow, in some mysterious way, my pregnancy has opened up a door to these conversations. Was it something I’ve said?

I don’t think so. If I could have planned it, it would not have turned out this way. If I had wanted to be strategic about all this, I can tell you absolutely that I would have failed miserably. This is a great mystery to me. But the stories are here, now, for us and for God to see, and my call is to touch those stories lovingly and with great grace, as if I were handling a small, delicate child who needs my love, my softness, and my attention.

It is the deepest privilege I know to have access to the hearts of others. May God grant us grace to hold those hearts and their contents tenderly, weeping and laughing and finding redemption and hope in every unfolding.

A Thousand Little Things

2010-11-29T11:56:00.004-06:00

Now, I am just as much a romantic as the next gal, but I've learned in my marriage that the little things do tend to add up more than the grand, romantic gesture. Don't get me wrong - Backbencher does the flower and candy thing as well as the next man, and he's been known to surprise me with Christmas and birthday gifts that I'd mentioned once or twice in passing months ago. (The "months ago" thing sometimes means I had forgotten I'd wanted that item, but it is so endearing!) But overall, I think I appreciate the everyday things Backbencher does to let me know I'm on his mind.

Here is just a selection:
- He always turns on my seat warmer when we ride in his car, usually long before I would have remembered it's an option.
- He has been known to walk the dogs when he senses I need a lazy morning.
- He got me a gift certificate to 1800FINDASPA for our first wedding anniversary, because traditionally, the first anniversary is "paper" and, well, gift certificates are made of paper. (And he knows I love massages.) Naturally, he also gave me a book.
- He will read a book faster than he normally would if he knows I want to read it, too.
- He suggests that I take the first shower when we have to leave early for childbirth class. (And he often showers the night before, too!)
- He folds towels, even if I'm the one who washed them.
- He remembers to buy my favorite kind of ice cream when we run out.
- When we got back from visiting his family at Thanksgiving, I had to run over to the church (20 yards away) to turn up the heat for Sunday's worship service. I took a shortcut past the side of the house, not bothering to go in, and when I returned to the house 5 minutes later, he had already turned on the back porch light. He also does this when I have evening meetings (we have a one-car garage that I use, and it's behind the house).

It's that last one that really gets to me. Even if our paths don't cross after the morning, and I get home late in the evening, there is always a well-lit back porch welcoming me home. He never fails to remember to light my way home. In the day-to-day living with another human being, it is the small, everyday things Backbencher does for me far more warming to my heart and soul than the rare grand gesture.

This Advent, a new year begins, and I'm so lucky to share it with Backbencher.

White Crosses in Yards

2010-11-02T14:15:00.003-05:00

In our little town, a number of white crosses have appeared in several front yards. At first I thought it was a rash of pet deaths, but I soon learned that it was the effort of our local Methodist Church. A sweet effort for some reason I wasn't really clear about. To proclaim the household's (presumably Protestant, since it's not a crucifix) Christian identity? To be a safe haven for wandering Christians? A testimony of faith?

Today I learned that it was in response to this story, about an incident in Frankenmuth, Michigan a couple of years ago. Of course, in the version told to the ministerial fellowship, the ACLU got dragged in. (Doesn't it always, in these cases?) Le sigh. I checked it out on Snopes, and was gratified that at least the minister didn't play up the complainer's supposed "atheism." But as a card-carrying member of the ACLU, I am always so annoyed when they become the bogeyman for all the "persecution" Christians face.

Later, it made me wonder: what happened to the man in the story? No doubt he was a pot-stirrer, and it sounds as though he might have been a newcomer to town. Perhaps he was not the most sympathetic character. But as much as the Christians in this town claimed "victory," I wonder how this man felt ministered to by his Christian friends and neighbors. Did he learn about the love of Jesus from all those crosses? Did he experience the grace of God from their overwhelming opposition to his (admittedly rather petty) complaints?

Or was he confirmed in a belief that Christians tend to lord it over non-Christians and Christians who don't share their views of church-state separation? Was he treated as an outcast, a collaborator with the enemy, and unclean?

Jesus sure ate a lot of meals with people whom the "majority" looked down upon or disdained. I may be preaching to the choir here, but I pray that when we are bold to proclaim the Gospel, we are focused on proclamation that opens hearts and minds to Jesus, not on pummeling others to get our own way.

Funerals and Family Dynamics

2010-10-19T22:11:00.003-05:00

Speaking generally, funeral preparation is a fascinating time to observe family dynamics at work, and to especially see the ways that dysfunction plays out through generations of a family system. You can see why the son of these parents married this person, and how their children ended up as they did. You can see why these two people were drawn to each other, even if the motivation appears to be to get as far away from family as possible.

This isn't really a surprise. Take a system, throw in a radical and permanent change to that system, and add a forced sense of proximity to other family members. Oh, and social pressures to behave in a certain fashion.

Unfortunately, it's also a terribly tragic time of loss for the family, and often for the whole community. To think only about the system is destructive and heartless; but to fail to think about the system is short-sighted and ultimately ineffective.

The bottom line is: families are complicated, and funerals bring this into high relief. HIGH relief.

Sad News and Happy News

2010-10-02T20:14:00.004-05:00

Backbencher and I have sad news and happy news to share. Finally!

First, the sad news. Many of you know that an opportunity for us to adopt a child literally fell into our laps this spring. Just before I left for Costa Rica, we learned that the birth mother - someone we knew from another circle in our lives (and I'm not trying to be deliberately vague, but SW Iowa is a small place and she deserves her own anonymity if she wants it) - has decided to parent her child after all. This was very sad news for us, even if it was not altogether unexpected. She'd decided so early in her pregnancy, and she has a lot of support for both decisions she has made.

Now, to the happy news: The very morning before we heard the sad news, we learned that I am pregnant! I am about 12 weeks along now and all appears to be progressing well. If one can gauge by nausea, we are breeding a champion in my uterus. That is a much politer way to say that I have been "blessed" with intermittent, all day dry heaves, along with the occasional unpredictable incident of pukeatuge. I am fervently praying this part of pregnancy ends in the next two weeks. (Do not scare me with your stories of pregnancy-long morning sickness - I have heard it before and do not wish to hear more. Also, my stomach is unaccountably weaker than it used to be, so even these stories set me off a bit.)

Longtime friends and family know of my iron constitution and bone-deep loathing of throwing up (though really, who enjoys that particular experience?), and are quite sympathetic. Unfortunately, nothing reliably works for me. So thank you for the advice to stuff myself silly with Saltines (done and done), eat or drink every form of ginger imaginable (ditto), or to eat every waking hour. Just pray away the puking, please - but keep the baby.

This news, while it doesn't cancel out the sad news, is overwhelming and wonderful for us. We have known we wanted to be parents for almost as long as we've been together (and I've always known I wanted to be a mom), and we are delighted that, Ohala, we will get to meet our first child in 2011. I am also incredibly grateful at the timing of these events, because I know the weakness of my faith, and I would have been DEVASTATED with only the sad news. We have worked through a fair bit of our grief at the loss of that child, but I for one feel buffeted by the knowledge that we will indeed be parents next year. That has muted the grief somewhat, though I think it goes without saying that babies are not interchangeable.

Oh, and I'm due on Palm Sunday. Hi-larious. One colleague pointed out that God clearly wants me to experience the twin blessings of motherhood and ministry right from the outset. Another colleague offered to preach on Easter for me.

We'd covet your prayers for us, as well as for the birth mother, of whom we are deeply fond and with whom we continue a friendship. All of this is hard, but that is the way of the world. She deserves love, support and prayers as much as any new parent does. And God knows we will need lots of support!

In Which I Come Out as a Pacifist Hippie

2010-09-21T21:16:00.004-05:00

....and perhaps a disappointment to my father, who spent 20 years in the Army and more than 2 additional decades as a military consultant.*

The failure to repeal DADT is, in the end, hardly surprising. Others can speak far more eloquently than I about the appalling cowardice of the Democratic Party when it matters to progressive issues. Others can speak far more passionately than I about the crippling terror of the military closet.

But those aren't the real reasons I'm unsurprised about the failure to repeal DADT. In the military, young men and women are trained to reject one of the most fundamental values that families, religious communities, and communities teach them. They are trained, in short, to kill - to violate one of the Big Ten. For Christians, at least, this is a grievous sin. And our goverment supports - no, expects, DEMANDS - this from our servicemembers! Our government celebrates those who kill "the enemy."

Our culture celebrates, even valorizes, those who are most effective at violating one of the Ten Commandments. (And then we wonder why so many returning from war have trouble readjusting to civilian life.) Why, then, should we be surprised that our military also trains young men and women to reject another fundamental value - that of telling the truth? For thousands of gay and lesbian service members, they are trained - again, expected, DEMANDED - to lie about who they are, and who they love, in order to serve their country.

I'm not under any illusions: allowing gay and lesbian servicemembers to live openly will not force our culture to reexamine our lust for blood or our paradoxical insistence that we live in a "Christian nation" while training our young people to violate the commandment against killing. It will not turn us all into pacifists. But perhaps, if we are going to ask our young people to kill, the least we can do is let them be honest about who they are.

*I kid. He's proud of my ability to think independently and come to my own conclusions, even when we disagree. For my part, if anyone had to do what my dad did, I guess I'd rather it was him doing it than someone else.

Sabbatical Goodness

2010-08-13T16:56:00.002-05:00

Dear friends, I am off to Costa Rica for the next month, living with a host family and learning Spanish. I am only slightly terrified, as I know about 40 words in Spanish and won't know anyone in this program. And my darling Backbencher and I will be apart for the whole month. If you live in the area, please ply him with food and drinks in my absence.

You can expect that posting will be non-existent during that time, but I might surprise you....

Congratulations California!

2010-08-04T21:07:00.002-05:00

We here at Casa LiturgyGeek frequently miss The Pocket Mardis, a delightful blog run by a friend. Happily, Mardis still regularly posts pithy comments on Facebook, and today made me laugh out loud. In response to the ruling declaring California's Prop 8 unconstitutional, Mardis wrote: "Congratulations, California: You're finally almost as cool as Iowa."

As a native Californian now living in Iowa, I could not be prouder that where I currently reside, adults are free to marry, and today I am delighted that my home state is one step closer to the equality we've been living with for the past 16 months.

Better a Delay Than a Disaster?

2010-08-03T17:27:00.003-05:00

Our college cross-country coach, Coach Page, was a fount of vaguely useful information that I've grown to appreciate more and more over the years, even if at the time we thought he was kind of a goof. Thanks to him, I know that the easternmost state is not Maine but Alaska, and I'm always filled with some trepidation now that I no longer routinely pack the "Big Five" when I travel (towel, soap, toilet paper, padlock, and sunscreen).

Coach Page was also fond of reminding us, whenever we were stuck in traffic in NYC or Newark, "Better a delay than a disaster." I had occasion to remember these words during my sabbatical travel a couple of weekends ago. Returning home from the Great East Coast Baby Tour via train, I was deeply engrossed in a novel given to me by one of my friends (Let the Right One In, if you're interested - a painfully poignant literary novel) and did not think much that we were stopped at a station for what seemed like a longer-than-usual stop. I assumed it was a smoke break until we learned that there was indeed a delay and we could get out and stretch our legs for a while.

We soon heard the rest of the story: a freight train a few miles up had struck and killed a person. The investigation and recovery would take some time. And, of course, life would never be the same for the family of the one who had been hit. Speculation was rampant regarding the nature of the death - no one assumed it was accidental, and there was even some annoyance at the "selfishness" of the individual. Incomprehensibly, one man began to describe for me the nature of the clean-up task when trains hit cows. (I stopped him quickly, and crassly, as I told him I did not need the details, having already walked this journey with a friend whose son was killed by a train.)

What happens when your delay is someone else's disaster? As impotent as it sounds, you pray and pray. Which I did, off and on, for the rest of that journey. And still do. I invite you to pray for the family of Nicholas Van Alstine. Trusting that God has received Nicholas into the arms of love, grace and wholeness, pray that his family will have the consolation of the Holy Spirit, and the abiding presence and gentle comfort of friends for a long time to come.

Special Friends of the Blog

2010-07-18T15:46:00.002-05:00

Emily and Tim are very special friends; she's a UCC minister I've known for a decade, and he's a Lutheran seminary graduate and all-around genius. They are in Jerusalem for the next year and just finished a dig. They are thoughtful theologians, deeply faithful people, and deserve a wide audience. Please follow their blog here and tell your friends.

Miracles on Sabbatical

2010-06-30T18:24:00.002-05:00

I am on sabbatical for the next three months. I'd love this to mean that I'd actually have time to blog, but that might be optimistic to the point of falsehood. I will be teaching a class at my old seminary on leadership in a smaller-membership congregation, learning Spanish in Costa Rica, practicing Spanish in Peru, and baptizing a few babies during this time. I will also be reading, praying, living.

A gem came my way today as I was talking with a friend about her dying relative. I said that I would pray for all of them, and that while I could pray for a miracle, I didn't sense that was what was wanted or needed. My friend said, "You can pray for the miracle of peace." Peace in this friend's relative's dying, peace in the hearts of the survivors, peace in the journey to death.

It was such a wonderful nugget that I had to share with you. May you experience the miracle of peace in your life today, if only for a moment.

Generous-Hearted Children

2010-06-13T11:23:00.002-05:00

At our church, the person who brings the elements for Communion typically, but not always, helps serve at the table. When that person chooses not to, I ask another person to serve with me. Since part of the job of the minister is to nurture "call," I often ask one of the youth (or adults) who I think has the gifts for pastoral ministry.

This morning, I made an assumption that the person who brought Communion would not want to serve and so I asked one of our youth, G. She agreed, and we practiced what she would say while holding the chalice. Just before worship started, the woman who brought Communion came up to me to ask me what she was supposed to say. "Ooops!" This woman, Mrs. N, is a dear soul and in the early-to-middle stages of Alzheimers, so it actually would have been more confusing to explain the situation to her and ask if it was okay to let G serve.

I turned to G and said, "G, I'm terribly sorry. I made an assumption that turns out was wrong. Mrs. N would like to serve Communion after all, and since we usually let the person who brought Communion help, I really need to honor that. I hope you aren't too disappointed." She said, "Nope, that's fine" so cheerfully that I just wanted to hug her. Grace abounding from my mistake. I assured her that the next time I needed a Communion server, it would be her.

She smiled and said. "That's fine. I was actually wondering how I was going to get to take Communion since I was serving." And this is where it gets really good!

I asked, "Did you think you weren't going to get Communion because you were serving it?"

"Yes." (Everyone in our church gets to take Communion, no matter their age, membership or baptismal "status.")

"So, you were willing to sacrifice taking Communion in order to help serve the rest of the church?"

"Yes."

She did not understand why I started to cry at that moment.

Generous-hearted children like this are what keeps the faith Christ has entrusted to us alive and growing, even in the midst of declining membership and giving. Generous-hearted children like this know what it means to serve, to minister, to care, and they do it without weighing costs and benefits. Perhaps she does not love Communion the way I do, but considering the way our children race forward to receive the bread and juice, I think it more likely that she was willing to sacrifice participating in the feast of God's presence in order to facilitate that presence for others.

Fortunately, she also learned that those are not mutually exclusive. So the next time I need someone to serve with, I will ask G. And when we have finished serving the congregation, we will turn and serve each other the feast of God's presence. And today, I leave church overflowing with the fullness of that Presence, thanks to G.

Added to the Blogroll

2010-05-18T10:16:00.001-05:00

Duke Divinity's Faith and Leadership Blog. I could waste a few days here catching up, but I have too much to do today.

Another Great Blog

2010-05-05T12:49:00.003-05:00

Is here, at Dirty Sexy Ministry. I think that my UCC twin would especially enjoy this blog, but I liked it for the running post I read a week or so ago. Kicked my prayer life into a much-needed gear.

Leave the Shellfish Out of It, Please

2010-04-18T21:25:00.003-05:00

Dear secular progressives, even Christian progressives, and all the rest of you GLBT allies who use the Bible to support the cause of equality,

I thank you for your work trying to help people of faith see the logic in supporting civil equality for our GLBT brothers and sisters. We are in this work together, and I am grateful for the ways that you support families like mine.

One quibble, friends. When you are using the Bible to argue that lots of stuff in the Hebrew Scriptures (aka Old Testament) are no longer binding on Christians, please, please, please do not bring up the shellfish argument. You know, the one that begins, "Well, do you eat shellfish and wear clothing of mixed fibers? Then you, too, are violating the Levitical Codes and have no room to speak about homosexuality." By all means, use the clothing argument all you want - beat it into the ground for all I care. I will even give you what I believe is a compelling argument as to why the abomination of mixed fibers is a moral issue for us today.

But please, please, please, leave the shellfish out of it. Acts 10 specifically addresses how Peter is commanded by God to eat non-kosher foods, and the implication is clear that the church is released from this obligation of the Holiness Code. (Which is part of why most Christians don't keep kosher.)

When you continue to use the argument that because Christians eat shellfish, they are in violation of the Holiness code, you just sound ignorant of the Christian story. And while the odds are slim that you are ever going to win over evangelical/fundamentalist Christians anyway, using this argument closes the door for them to listen to anything you have to say, because they just assume you "don't get it."

If you want to use the clothing argument, be prepared to hear, as I have often heard, that some of the Holiness Code is still in effect (you know, especially the stuff about same-sex genital contact) because it is about MORALITY, while some of it isn't because it was about how people understood hygiene or some other "time-bound" or culture-bound rules. When that rebuttal comes your way, go ahead and ask whether or not God cares about the kinds of cloth that touches the skin of God's people. If people are created in God's image and we are vessels of the Holy Spirit, then it stands to reason that God really, really cares how our bodies are attired. Therefore, one would think that the mixed-fiber commandment is, indeed, a MORAL issue. (If nothing else, you may convince some folk to wear more all-natural hemp fabric.)

In the end, however, one of the best arguments I've heard about welcoming our GLBT friends and family members comes from Christian singer-songwriter Jennifer Knapp, who recently came out to the chagrin of many in the Christian community. She said in an interview with CNN, "I would rather be judged before God as being an honest human being. If I am in any way unpleasing in his sight, I can only hope and pray that he gives me the opportunity to find who I am supposed to be."

Bless you, Jennifer, on your life, your music and your witness. May God continue to be pleased at your honesty and the integrity with which you live your life.

Raising Up Progressive Christian Youth

2010-04-15T13:13:00.002-05:00

For the past couple of years, we've had a "youth group" for our 4-7th graders. It's expanded from 3 to about 12, with 9-10 coming regularly. We have snacks, a check-in, some Bible study, and then usually a game or topic to explore.

Last week, somehow we got on the conversation of homosexuality. (I may have mentioned something about my moms, as I sometimes do as a matter of course - they are my parents, after all.) Here's the funny thing: the kids didn't get squicked out by this information, even if they reacted as if it was the first time they were hearing this (it isn't, but I've learned that kids don't really have a memory for this sort of thing unless they were to actually MEET my moms). One of the kids wanted to know why some churches taught that homosexuality was wrong. "I mean, God made everyone, right?" she asked. "So saying that God doesn't love gay people or doesn't accept them means that God doesn't accept what God made."

She was very insistent on this point, repeated it several times, and continued to express her utter disbelief that a church could fail to teach anything other than this obvious (to her) truth.

I'd love to say, "Where did this all come from?" but I know where it comes from. It comes from a congregation that has welcomed 4 same-sex couples in the last year alone (please remember we are in a small town in rural Iowa, so even one couple, same-sex or opposite-sex, qualifies as a pretty big deal), a church and pastor that has married 8-9 same-sex couples since marriage equality came to our state, a minister that supports the full inclusion of GLBT persons into the full life of the church (and who has two moms), a church community that wrestles with this issue and consistently chooses hospitality and welcome over total unanimity, families who are drawn to this church precisely because of our pattern of extravagant welcome, and a denomination who supports the work of a) wrestling with difficult texts, b) coming to a variety of conclusions as a result of that wrestling, and c) not coming to easy answers but rather a continual stretching and general comfort with ambiguity.

It comes from other parents who are unwilling to judge GLBT persons and modeling that behavior in church. It comes from this child's own parents, who are extremely comfortable with all sorts of difference. And it comes from the Spirit of God in this youth, who is (like so many of her peers) deeply concerned with fairness, equality, and sharing God's love.

In short, I'm realizing that our youth are being formed and transformed in the very ways we have hoped, prayed, and worked toward for many years. Thanks be to God!

Checking In, Dear Ones

2010-04-14T15:25:00.002-05:00

....if only to breeze past quickly from one thing to another.

I didn't mean to cease blogging throughout Lent, but that ended up being exactly what happened. I blame our local community theater. Backbencher and I were both cast in "The Last Night of Ballyhoo" in late December, with shows in February, and for some reason, I thought it was a good idea to try to direct a show during Lent. With middle school students. With no acting experience.

It's been trying, let me tell you. It's also taken most of my time and extra energy. The kids are great, and the adults in the show have been very patient - but we open on Saturday and I have some doubts. Mostly I'm freaked out that this will be the first community theater show (in a new, multi-million dollar facility) that is not absolutely brilliant. And I'll be to blame.

So if you are in the area, come see "The Hobbit." Tickets can be ordered by phone or in person - the information is here.

As for the ministry end of things, I am working on some delightful projects. I've also had a few weeks of utterly fascinating pastoral visits with folk. I continue to be amazed and humbled at the fact that people are willing to open up and share their hurts, griefs, and fears in this space, and how this congregation embraces all, and finds a way to express hope for God's future.

Our youth are pretty rock-and-roll, too.

More soon, darlings!

Those of you who love to think deeply and ...

2010-02-10T11:00:00.003-06:00

....ecumenically about the church must go read Magdalene's Egg. Right now. I thank God that I've discovered Father. He makes me chuckle. He also takes my breath away, as with this line about how one must learn to minister: "you must learn to work with people who share your creed but not your reading of it."

I believe that, at its best, the UCC does try to embody this - though of course (as I noted on Father's blog) we are a non-creedal tradition. But, oh, how eloquently and irenically Father has put it! For we who love liturgy and are serious about making more visible the unity of all of Christ's followers on earth, this is just a kiss of life.

Thank you, Father, for finding your way here, and for helping me find my way to your blog. (I suspect Joelle had a hand in this via her blog, so she gets a hat tip.)

Another Mad Season

2010-02-09T21:04:00.003-06:00

Sorry, this isn't about Mad Men. It's about me realizing I'm entering another season in my life where I'm very angry at someone, and finally accepting that I'm okay with being mad at her. "Her" being my older sister.

Some background may help: my parents divorced while my mom was pregnant with me, and I never had a full-time dad in the house. My sister is a few years older than me, and she did have a full-time dad in the house for the first four years of her life. She went from having Mommy and Daddy all to herself to being schlepped across the country to live with Mom, our grandparents, and a whiny, crying baby. I get that that sucks.

And it was 30+ years ago, so it's not like therapy was a real option in this situation (at least not that I'm aware of). When I was a senior in college, my sister cut off all contact with the immediate family. Now, I know that siblings have different experiences of childhood, but to my knowledge there was not some ridiculous level of abuse that would justify this action. The main thing was, again, the radical change in her life situation when she was about 4, coupled with living at the poverty line throughout childhood and having lots of wealthy friends. I will note a couple of other, personal reasons she noted in a good-bye missive, but even with all this, her reaction to cut us out seems all out of proportion. I suspect there are other reasons, unknown to us, that impelled this decision. Because, frankly, the alternative is that she is a rigid control freak with no sense of grace towards others.

We have always said what happened in this way: that we were not the family she wanted, and she decided that not having us in her life was better for her. It at least helped us have peace. And while we respected her decision to be out of our lives, with the "advent" of the internet, we naturally kept mild tabs from afar. Unless one goes completely off the grid, you can find someone with sufficient motivation. (My dad, as a former intelligence officer, probably knows how to find someone even if they are off the grid.) I never paid money to find her, but she wasn't really hiding on the internet, so when, about 3 years ago, we thought our grandmother was dying, I knew how to get in touch with her.

There was a brief, awkward "reunion" with our grandma, who by that time was actually improving. At this point, we'd not seen each other or spoken in a decade. And that's exactly what it returned to after the extremely short visit with our grandmother. At this point, she is in touch with our extended family. And that's nice. For them and for her. And for mom, Moozie, Dad and me, too - because while they respect her confidences, they do let us know that she's okay.

I have tried to be okay with it, but lately I realized I'm not.

I'm mad at her. I'm sorry that we aren't the family she wanted, but you know what? She was never the sister I wanted, either. She was mean, spiteful, a typical bossy big sister (and yes, I was the typical spoiled baby), and she never outgrew it. She held people to impossible expectations and then cut them out of her life when they couldn't measure up. She doesn't have a lot of grace to offer others. That used to make me feel sad for her. Now I see it as a character failing. Maybe I have things to answer for, but so does she.

It would be lovely if she ever wanted to get back in touch with us directly. I know that my parents would welcome her back with no questions asked, and be happy about it. They are her parents, after all, and I don't begrudge them that. But I am figuring out that for me, forgiveness in this case is not so easy. And that that's okay. I used to pity her, and all she was missing out by her estrangement. (Like my moms' wedding - one of the best days of my life, and getting to know my beloved Backbencher, who is a delightful addition to anyone's life.) And I felt bad about the stuff we should be able to commiserate about together but couldn't because of this estrangement (the less said about that, the better).

I've gone through some other seasons in my life in which I've been angry at someone - an old boyfriend, other situations with my sister, etc. And it's helpful to reflect on that, and to wonder what I can really do about it, and to realize that this is about me, not about them, etc, etc, etc. This go-round, however, the lesson I am trying to learn is that it is perfectly okay to be angry. And to be angry at HER. Not because she's rejected me (though I will not deny that it hurts), but because she is kind of a pill and I don't know that I'd want her in my life even if she did have some sort of miraculous change of heart.

The older I get, the more I know that my stepsiblings and a couple of dear friends are my true sisters, and I've long been okay with that. Yes, I know how anger can eat us up inside. I know that I will have to deal with my feelings of rejection (over and over!). And I know if she ever did want "back in" to the family, I wouldn't stand in the way. (I wouldn't hurt my parents that way.) I would be extremely wary that she'd hurt my parents again, but that's the risk they would have to assess.

But for now, I am just reveling in my ability to just be angry, and for the moment, to have that anger undiluted by guilt at what I could have done differently, and to instead insist that she will eventually have to answer as to what she could have done differently in our relationship. I guess I'm ready to start holding her accountable for this estrangement - where, indeed, at least some of the responsibility belongs.

Christian Imperialism in a Time of Crisis

2010-01-31T16:43:00.006-06:00

Updated: I found a link to this article, too.

We all know about the terrible devastation in Haiti, and we may be certain that many families have been torn apart by death and destruction. So why, in the midst of all this turmoil and chaos, would a group of Christians think it was a good idea to smuggle Haitian children across the border?

I get that they have good intentions in building an orphanage for children who've lost their families in this earthquake. However, how could these Americans possibly know that these children are, indeed, orphans? They did not bother to get proper papers, or investigate that these children had no family to care for them. They simply accepted the word of those who brought the children to them. Given the scope of international child smuggling rings, and the likelihood that many such children end up being sold as prostitutes or sex slaves, you would have thought that a group of committed Christians would have done at least a little due diligence.

They also did not think to keep these Haitian children in their native land - they planned to build a fancy orphanage at or near a resort in the Dominican Republic. One may say that Haiti is not at the rebuilding stage yet, but the entire nation has not been devastated. They could just as easily have worked to build an orphanage somewhere other than Port-au-Prince. Given the contentious relationship between Haiti and the Dominican Republic, this just smacks of extreme cultural ignorance.

This entire situation is a perfect example of American Christian Imperialism. These people had it on their hearts to go do something about the devastation in Haiti, caring for the youngest and the poorest. That's all well and good, but what about what God has placed on the hearts of Haitians? Did these Christians even think to ask what God had said to the Haitians? Did they bother to LISTEN to what Haiti needs, or did they just assume that since they had heard God's word on their hearts, that the rest of the world would just line up behind it? Thinking you have a divine mission from God is not an excuse to be ignorant about the people you want to "save," and it certainly isn't a license to break international law to get what you want.

There is hearing God's word, but there is also discerning God's word. It is not enough to simply hear God's word - or to think you have - but you must also discern the meaning of this word. And when God's word involves other people, it's a good idea to discern God's word with those other people. It's not naivete to fail to take this step; it is willful ignorance. And it is, frankly, unconscionable. You can't just act like this - you have to think, to test your motives, to discern God's will. You can't just assume because your heart goes out to the orphans in Haiti, that this means God is telling you to go build them an orphanage for them (again, in another country, where you have to smuggle children to get there).

I am not surprised that this sort of imperialistic thinking goes on in American Christianity. We've gotten a bad name acting imperialistic for a long time, both as a nation and as Christians not working for the government. Deservedly so, given what we know of this situation. We strut around the world, thinking we know best. In the process, we destroy families, communities, and nations. Who is to say that a group of Christians from America know what's best for these Haitian orphans? Do these Christians even know anything about Haiti, its history, its culture, its people, its struggles, its dreams? Its relationship with the Dominican Republic, where the children were going to be smuggled to (hint: it's not a friendly one)?

I doubt these Christians considered the additional trauma these children they are trying to "save" are going to be put through - torn from families and communities, uncertain in many cases if their parents are even dead, probably encouraged to learn another language in order to communicate with their "rescuers" (because I'm willing to bet these Christians don't know French or any of the other languages [besides English] spoken in Haiti). Because fundamentally, it is not really about the children. It is about burnishing their credentials as "good Christians" who "sacrifice" for God's kingdom.

I am also not surprised that this group (and its pastor) is trying to put the best spin on it. "They were just trying to do good," seems to be the refrain. If all that do-gooding, however, breaks international laws, one has to wonder what the real motives of the people were. Sounds like they were more concerned with getting stars in their crown than they were truly helping these young, already-traumatized children. They had no prior relationship with Haiti or its people, and I am willing to bet they no absolutely NOTHING about transracial, transcultural adoption. (For information on both of those, go read this excellent article.)

Christ calls us to serve in his name, but he does not call us to do so in a vacuum. We are called to minister in communities, and to value the many voices at the table and the many ways God speaks to people. That means listening to the people we are trying to "save," and working as equal partners in that "saving."

Gossip News

2010-01-24T21:23:00.003-06:00

Okay, if the unconfirmed rumors are true that Brangelina have broken up, all I can say is that the relentless media attention about their relationships - and the nearly-weekly covers of People US Weekly, OK! and what-have-you - definitely contributed to the stress and strain of their relationship.

In fact, this relentlessness is part of the reason I stopped reading People magazine and its ilk. Fundamentally, I finally realized that celebrities deserve some privacy, and that by continuing to read such magazines, I was contributing to the paparazzification of their lives. That wasn't who I wanted to be, and it's not the life I want for celebrities to have to endure.

This Week in Idiocy

2010-01-22T22:16:00.003-06:00

I can't promise that this will become a thing, but this week seemed to be full of all kinds of crazy. The stupid - it burns!

1. Plane diverted because of prayer. Some idiots saw a young Jewish man praying with tefillin, freaked out and thought it was a bomb threat. Man was unresponsive (maybe because he was trying to pray without being interrupted?), plane got diverted, and a bunch of people ended up with egg on their face. But the piece de resistance: the FBI investigator is reported to have said of the tefillin, "This is something most Americans probably have never seen before."

Um, seriously, dude? Have you never ridden the subway in NYC (elsewhere, too, probably - NYC is just my personal experience)? Never watched a crime drama episode involving observant Jews (I'm sorry, crime dramas just do variations on certain themes, the "death in an observant Jewish community" is standard fare)? Never heard of tefillin? Or even heard their description? I must have read descriptions of tefillin in a half-dozen novels or more, to say nothing of the non-fiction I've read. And I don't even read a lot of Jewish-themed stories. (Or maybe I do, compared to the rest of the population.....)

Gosh, maybe I am more highbrow than I thought.

2. John Edwards is a big fat tool. Thanks for your utter lack of integrity. I knew you were a creep when I met you in Red Oak. Alas, this latest "revelation" (first scooped by The National Enquirer, for God's sake!) is without any sense of grace. And how nice of your mouthpieces to try to put Elizabeth on the moral high ground yet again by saying she really wanted you to acknowledge paternity. You weren't doing it for her sake, just as you weren't .... well, doing the baby's mother for Elizabeth's sake. You're just doing this for yourself. Think with the brain between your ears next time. (Oh, and I gave you the link to Jezebel not because it's the best link, but just because I like them.)

3. NBC. Really? You think Conan is worth just $45 million? Leno sucks at his prime-time experiment and you fire CONAN? Y'all are nuts. Y'all were asses to pull the rug out from under him with The Tonight Show, and y'all were asses to stick with Jay. I'm sorry, but Conan is funnier and will make some network very happy to have him bring in the younger generations. Aren't they the ones you want to market to, anyway? I'd consider ending my Fox moratorium* if he ended up there, just on principle. Gah.

I won't talk about the election in Massachusetts and the subsequent hand-wringing among the Dems, because I can't decide who's more of an idiot: the 53% of Massachusetts residents who elected Brown, or the Dems who think that 41>59. Get your act together, Dems.

I also won't talk about Pat Robertson's odious comments about Haiti, first of all because it was last week in idiocy and second of all because it just goes without saying that Robertson is a big fat idiotic tool. Bless his heart.

Of course, even when I think these people are acting like idiots, I try to remember that they are God's beloved children, and that behaving like an idiot doesn't mean you ARE an idiot. But what God must think of humanity with these examples, I shudder to imagine. And, I am loathe to ask it, but what am I missing from the news this week?

* Okay, I don't really avoid Fox altogether. How would I survive without the Simpsons? And I have enjoyed Dollhouse, primarily because Eliza Dushku could probably earn her toaster if she propositioned me. But mostly I try to avoid the channel for reasons that should be obvious to anyone who knows my political bias.

Here's a Fun Facebook TimeSuck

2010-01-08T16:57:00.002-06:00

A few days ago I mentioned on Facebook how much I love when my worlds collide. It was in reference to the fact that a dear friend just had a baby, and that one of her closest friends posted photos that I'd wanted to comment on. Not being this friend's "Facebook friend," I couldn't. But we've kind of interacted on ye olde FB previously, so I just "friend-requested" her. And she accepted! And we learned we have a whole bunch of things in common. It's been delightful.

Also, recently, when I friended the director of the play I'm currently in, I discovered that he knows Intern (now Minister) Extraordinaire. It's not that strange, as she grew up in the town where he lives. But, knowing those two people in such different contexts made it very surprising to me that they knew each other. And to make that story even weirder, what is truly remarkable is that this director and I lived in Sonoma during the same time and have mutual friends from that time period. And now we both live in the same part of Iowa.

So in my Facebook ramblings, I've been checking out the "mutual friends" link on some of my friends' pages, trying to see if we have overlapping friends from non-overlapping parts of our lives. For example, my friend K is a minister in Virginia, but not in the same denomination as I am. She knows some people from her denomination that I know from seminary. But that's an easy example. I'm still looking for that wild, weird and wonderful friend link where I go, "How in the world do you two people know each other?" It's a pretty small world, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be pleasantly surprised soon. As an example, if my friend R, who was my first colleague here, and, say, my middle-school drama teacher, turned out to be good friends from way back when, well, that would just about make my day.

Share your wild, wonderful Facebook stories in the comments section if you so choose.

(It occurs to me that anyone reading this post who does not know anything about Facebook would be utterly confused. We might call those people "Muggles," but the odds that they would understand that reference are probably also pretty slim.)

Ahhh, Small Town Living

2009-12-30T13:29:00.003-06:00

Last night we went to our favorite Mexican restaurant. As we arrived and were seated, another patron kept squinting at us in a kind of unfriendly way. At first I thought she was just being rude, but I quickly figured out she was trying to figure out who we were. How sad, I thought, she's all alone at the restaurant.

Then the staff of the restaurant began to try to gently escort her out the door. She was shuffling her feet and very unsteady. How really sad, I thought - she's obviously got a vision problem and maybe some other health concerns. And how nice that they are helping her get to her car. At about this point I began to worry about how she had GOTTEN to the restaurant with these medical conditions. Something was not adding up.

Then, the staff of the restaurant went to a neighboring table, where two couples, acquaintances of ours, were eating, and asked the men something in a quiet voice. The men got up, and one cheerfully went to the woman to offer her a ride home in her car while the other guy followed in his car. How nice, I thought. These guys are bailing out this poor, blind, shuffling (young) woman so she can get home.

As soon as it was appropriate to do so ("appropriate" in small-town lingo being approximately four seconds after the door is shut behind the woman and the two men), I asked the wives what the story was. And here it is:

Apparently the woman got so drunk from the one Long Island iced tea she ordered while waiting for her to-do order that she was unsafe to drive home, and the staff at the Mexican restaurant would not let her drive herself home. (I suspect either an underlying medical condition, a contraindication with prescription drugs, or that the woman had been drinking before she got to the restaurant, but that's really beside the point.)

It turns out that one of the guys, C, was celebrating his birthday when he got conscripted to this duty! What a nice guy! Also, because he's Hispanic, the woman he drove home assumed he was the owner of the restaurant - but at least she said nice things. *sigh* C was very gracious at all the appalling, vaguely racist things she said during the drive home. *double sigh* He also told us that she had trouble a) getting to the street she lived on, and b) identifying her house once they were on the correct street.

This tells me a number of things: 1. Have a designated driver if you are going to drink anything at Casa de Oro (or anywhere, really). 2. The staff at Casa de Oro will not let you drive home if you are drunk. They may ask other patrons to help, but they will make sure that you and your car get home safely. 3. Good people will help out drunk people in this small town - even if they are perfect strangers to one another. 4. Racism, benign though it might have been in this case, is still alive and well (not that we didn't know that already). 5. When you do good deeds, they become funny stories.

Happy birthday, C!!! Hope it got better and better as the night went on!

Good News for California Equality

2009-12-19T20:08:00.002-06:00

There is probably nothing worse than coming down with the flu while having dinner with good friends less than a week before Christmas. I hate throwing up more than just about anything else in the world. And I really hated leaving J & T's house - it's becoming a tradition to share a meal with them and our mutual friends M & J around the holidays.

The good news is that I am on the mend - this bout of the flu appears to be brutal but quick. That's even better because I have church tomorrow, and it's the children's Christmas pageant. I really do not want to miss our children's hard work. It is the first year I am not teaching Sunday school, and this was going to be a treat for me as well as for the church as a whole. This is one of the great blessings of church growth - there are more people who are excited to take on leadership at all levels, and I get the pleasure of letting go of being "in charge" of some things.

But I am well enough to peruse the internet today, and I came across this. Apparently, California will recognize same-sex marriages from other states as "marriage" if they were performed before November 5, 2008.....and those who've been married since then in other states will receive the benefits of civil marriage, even though it won't be called "marriage" in terms of the law.

It is less than ideal, to be sure. But it is a step towards equality. Thank you for the Christmas present, Governator.

Putting the Christ Back in Christmas...

2009-12-16T14:56:00.003-06:00

.....Because he says it so well, just go read Russell's words here. Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Hanukah, Blessed Solstice, and Happy Festivus. (If I've missed your holiday, may it be blessed, holy and happy, too!)

Yet Another Friend of the Blog

2009-12-12T11:26:00.003-06:00

And one whose name I get to use! I call her Pope Laura the Beneficent, because while she was a member of the congregation I serve, she had the distinction of being one of the central figures of the church. Though the UCC does not have popes, if we did, she would be the pope of our little church, at least. As a child of the church, she became a leader of the church, and her credibility spanned the generations of the church's membership. As a progressive UCCer, she helped lead this family-size congregation towards its Open and Affirming stance and gave members the courage to act on their beliefs. She also invited them to live and love graciously in the midst of difference.

When she moved several years ago, it was quite a blow to the church, and we have spent a fair amount of time learning how to reorient our leadership patterns. Yet the move was the right one for her and her family, and we are lucky enough to "get" all of them on many holidays. So it's with gratefulness and love that I call her "my pope" and celebrate the life she is living and the strength she brings to her living and to her faith. She's an inspiration. Go read her "religious blog" here.

Snow Day Morning Post

2009-12-08T08:01:00.002-06:00

Go read this. And thanks to my friend and colleague JN, from whose Facebook page I'm taking this.

Shane Claiborne co-wrote an incredible book called "Jesus for President" that I just adore. It's people like him who give me hope that evangelicalism can be more than James Dobson, Focus on the Family, and their ilk. And it's people like him that keep me hoping that Christian unity is possible.

Sabbath Rant - UPDATED

2009-12-04T10:20:00.004-06:00

Oh, my dear colleagues! If I do not write this here, I am afraid I am soon to burst out and scream at you at a meeting, in perhaps most inappropriate language and tone - to say nothing of the screeching volume at which I would othewise deliver this screed. Unless, of course, I decide to give you passive-aggressive eye-rolling and excessive sighing.

Dear, dear colleagues, if you are at a meeting with other clergy and non-clergy - wait, scratch that.... Dear colleagues, if you are ever at a meeting with other people and the subject of days off comes up, please, please, please resist the urge to say (melodramatically or ironically), "What's a day off?" You may think that you are appearing long-suffering - and indeed, I know for a fact that some of you are extremely long-suffering - but instead you sound insufferable.

As if the work we do is SOOOOOOOOO important that we cannot possibly take a day off to rest and restore our spirits. Do you truly believe that your work is more important and pressing than God's work? And yet, in the very first chapter of Genesis we see that on the seventh day our Lord rested from all that God had made. Rest is meant to be a part of the rhythm of our lives, to balance us from workaday concerns.

I hear the response that if you do not get the work done, the work will not get done. And I say, "So?" Prioritize your work and do what you can. Let go of the rest. So what if there is no bulletin this week because you had two funerals and a wedding, plus several other crises? So what if you only get three pastoral visits in this week, and one of them was a hospital visit? So what if no one else signed up to pass out coffee after church today? Guess what. The church will survive for one week without a bulletin. The members will make do with not having to dust in advance of your visit. The coffee won't get served today.

Or - horrors - someone else will step up at the last minute! Maybe someone will offer to type, collate and fold the bulletin on Sunday before church. Maybe someone will smell the absence of coffee in the air and turn on the pot. And if they don't, they will learn to live without what is not truly necessary. If for your church it is truly necessary (and if by "your church" you mean more than the two cranks who complain about nearly everything), then make clear to your personnel team that you have too much on your plate and that together there needs to be a renegotiation of your priorities and duties. Those priorities must be communicated to the congregation as a whole by someone other than you, and your board must stand in support of those priorities.

And if you find that you're always up until Oh-God-thirty finishing the bulletin or whatever, perhaps this is a reflection of your poor time management, not how busy and important you are. Poor time management is not a source of pride and you shouldn't be going on about that as if it were. If my congregation catches me finishing collating the bulletin on Sunday, at least I'm properly ashamed of that.

Now, I know that there are times in our ministry in which we must work on Saturday, or on our other day off. Occasionally there are weeks when we must work both days. This is unavoidable sometimes, and part of the nature of ministry. We do not work a typical, 9-5, 40-hour work week. I get it. But do not make a habit of it, and then claim that this poor habit is the nature of our work. When those weeks tend to happen every week, the proper response is not to brag about how overworked you are. The appropriate response after more than 2 or 3 weeks running without a true, proper day off is to abashed that things have gotten away from you. If God can keep the Sabbath, so can we - even if we keep it imperfectly at times.

Make up for it as soon as you can, dear brothers and sisters in Christ. At the very least, take the next morning off. Sleep in late. Go home right after the funeral and assorted duties are complete. You need not balance it minute-for-minute - but you need to balance your pastoral work with your life away from the church. Do not mistake your self-imposed martyrdom for actual martyrdom - Jesus does not call you to die on the cross of church Christmas decorations that no one else put up.

Dear colleagues, you are not irreplaceable. Neither am I. And frankly, if I have packed my life so full of things to do that my ministry appears to be just another burden to bear, it is time to cut something out, not to complain about how impossibly busy I am.

Another Theologian Who (Finally) Gets It

2009-11-08T22:42:00.003-06:00

The good gentleman at Southern Fried Faith pointed me toward this article on how one prominent conservative Presbyterian theologian has come to the side of the angels when it comes to the full inclusion of GLBT persons in the church. My very first inclination is to say, "Duh. Yeah." It is frustrating to hear it said so baldly that many of our conservative brothers and sisters in faith think we progressives play fast and loose with the Scriptures or that we don't see it as authoritative.

But that inclination quickly passes and yields to gratitude that another sheep has come home to Christ's fold. Brother Mark, thank you for your journey and for your faithful witness. We have been waiting a long time for you.

Happy Running, Kids

2009-11-08T22:02:00.002-06:00

Mostly, I'm too mad about the Stupak amendment to write anything coherent about the health reform bill that passed the house last night. So instead you get a post about my running progress.

This spring I wrote about how I've been starting to run again after nearly a decade of practically no running whatsoever. It has been a hard slog to get back into running, but I've kept at it. Last month, when Backbencher and I went home to visit my family and friends, we did a little run at Maxwell Park, the site of most of our home XC meets in high school. While the trails have changed, the smell and the feel had not, and it felt good. Really good, in fact.

Most of you who know us in the real world know that since our return from that trip, we've been trying to get pregnant. This has had some great benefits, not least of which that I'm able to resist most fast food places, have given up caffeine and alcohol, and am highly motivated to get in better shape. This past week I managed six workouts, with at least 5 runs worked in.

Now, mind you, I am still jogging at a snail's pace and only for a maximum of 2 miles. But every lap I run is one lap I wasn't running a month ago, so it's progress. And when I go in the morning, a dear older friend Bill cheers me on as he walks his laps. Some of the other retired folk I know also give me good support.

But the Sunday afternoon crowd has a totally different vibe. Today there were a ton of high school students working out/goofing off. When I started, a young girl was running very quickly. Now, to one getting started running again, getting lapped by a kid half your age is discouraging. But I remembered my training to run my own race, my own pace, and my own laps, and got started. I quickly noticed that this girl would go very fast for about a lap and a half, then stop to chat with her friends, or look down at the kids on the basketball court, or get some water.

I suppose I could have been annoyed, but mostly I was really grateful that she never actually lapped me. She would pass me, but before she could pass me again, inevitably she would stop. I kept "running my race" and soon realized that, in terms of sheer number of laps run, I was actually ahead of her. Tortoise and hare, indeed.

She reminded me of me as a high school (and to some extent, college) runner: loving to run but not really motivated, trying to get out of as much of a workout as I could while still getting something out of the workout, looking for any excuse to delay running those laps, and frankly kind of lazy. Being between seasons, the fact that she's there running laps at all is a step above whatever I did, so I'm not criticizing her. In fact, it was very encouraging, because I realized today that I really do love running, and that today, I am running for myself and with myself. That's a big change from when I ran primarily because I loved being on a team and loved my teammates.

And, when I'm struggling in my run, it's not wrong that I always imagine Shemar Moore (from Criminal Minds) calling me "Baby Girl" and cheering me on, right?

New Member Reception Liturgy

2009-11-04T11:10:00.002-06:00

This Sunday we baptized several individuals and held a new member reception for three families who have made their way to our community and have jumped in like bandits! It was a joyous occasion and a very long service, though I did not hear one word of complaint about the time. In fact, I heard several times how great a service it was - and not only because of the baptisms.

Our baptismal liturgy is fairly boilerplate UCC Book of Worship stuff. The only real adaptation I make is that I baptize "in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, One God who is Mother of us all." This is something that I understand began at Riverside Church in NYC and which I've heard used in several contexts. I believe the church should honor Jesus' commandment in Matthew 28 regarding our baptismal language, but I also believe that we should honor expansive images for God. This is a very neat, clear and placid way to do so.

But I am especially proud of our revamped liturgy for welcoming new members, or at least the questions we ask. The ones in the UCC BOW really do not speak to our experience of church, so I'm incredibly grateful to my friend Rob L., who came up with the questions and which I have only slightly tweaked. Enjoy - and if it works for your context, feel free to use!

RECEPTION OF NEW MEMBERS
November 1, 2009 ~ All Saints Day

INVITATION
We invite to come forward those who wish to affirm their baptism by uniting with us in this household of faith.

Friends in Christ, we are all received into the church through the sacrament of baptism. These people have found nurture and support in the midst of the family of Christ. Through prayer and study they have been led by the Holy Spirit to affirm their baptism and to claim in our presence their covenantal relationship with Christ and the members of the church. They are here for service to Jesus Christ, using the gifts which the Holy Spirit bestows.

OPENING SENTENCES
You are no longer strangers and sojourners, but you are equally citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus along being the cornerstone. In him the whole structure is joined together and grows into a holy Temple in Christ. In him you also are built into that structure to be a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.

QUESTIONS OF THE CANDIDATES
Do you profess Jesus as the center of your faith?
I do.
Will you be faithful to this community?
We promise our faithfulness to this new community.
Will you challenge this community to be the best version of itself and to live up to the things we say we believe?
We will lovingly challenge this community to be the best version of itself and to live up to the things you say you believe.
Will you allow yourself to be changed, shaped and transformed by this community, living into your called identity as a beloved child of God?
We will allow ourselves to be changed, shaped and transformed by this community as we live into our called identity as a beloved child of God.

By your baptism you were made one with us in the Body of Christ, the church. Today we rejoice in the pilgrimage of faith which has brought you to this time and place. We give thanks for every community of faith that has been your spiritual home, and we celebrate your presence in this household of faith.

QUESTIONS OF THE CONGREGATION
Do you profess Jesus as the center of your faith?
We do.
Will you be faithful to these new people as they join our congregation?
We promise our faithful companionship to these new members.
Will you challenge these new members to be the best versions of themselves, and to help them live up to the things they say they believe?
We will lovingly challenge these new members to be the best versions of themselves, and to help them live up to the things they say they believe.
Will you allow yourself to be changed, shaped and transformed by these new members, living into our called identity as a beloved community of God?
We will allow ourselves to be changed, shaped and transformed by these new members, living into our called identity as a beloved community of God.

PRAYER
O God, we praise you for calling us to faith and for gathering us into the church, the body of Christ. We thank you for your people gathered in this local church and rejoice that you have increased our community of faith. Together may we live in the Spirit, build one another up in love, sharing in the life and worship of the church, and serving the world for the sake of Jesus Christ. Amen.

WELCOME AND RECEPTION (all who are able please stand)
Leader: Beloved, let us greet our brothers and sisters in this family of faith as we offer the hand of Christian love and welcome them into the company of this local congregation.
People: Thanks be to God!

Wednesday Morning Post-Mortem

2009-11-04T07:39:00.002-06:00

Since I trust y'all to check out other sites for the political post-mortem as to how marriage equality lost in Maine, and about how it almost lost in Washington, I thought I would just offer my reflections from the morning walk.

This is a real disappointment and setback for those of us who support marriage equality. Mainers are pretty independent-minded folk, and it sounded like we were close to a victory. Which makes this a bitter pill to swallow. If Mainers haven't seen that same-sex marriage did not cause an utter moral collapse in their New England neighbors Vermont and Massachusetts, and if they were not touched by the stories of Maine couples and families whose very lives are affected by this law, then we have a lot longer and harder road than I expected. And if Washington - WASHINGTON!! - won this only by a 51-49% vote, then we have a lot more work to do.

And I must also register my disappointment with President Obama for his utter failure to speak one word of support in this struggle. I get that he personally does not support same-sex marriage - well, actually, I don't get his opposition to marriage equality, but whatever. And I continue to have the sense that he is trying to play the "long game," whereby he's looking at the big picture to shape a stronger and more secure victory for our community in the longer term. But if you only look at the big picture, you miss some important details - and that's what I think is going on with Obama. He's happy to miss the details of Maine and Washington, because that suits his own political sensitivities and unwillingness to rock too many boats. Yet he has a responsibility to support justice and equality for all Americans, even if it makes him a little uncomfortable.

And, of course, this makes it far less likely that DADT or DOMA will be repealed in the next few years, unless President Obama takes a stand in supporting their repeal. That, of course, seems very unlikely - I'm not sure how supporting this figures into his long game when supporting Maine equality is not. (Though, Mr. Obama, if you are reading this, I'd be thrilled if you proved me wrong! Seriously, if you are reading this, prove me wrong.) I guess this also means that Massachusetts, Vermont and Iowa will have to continue to take the lead on this issue. Which is good for me and for Holy Knit!, because we serve congregations in these states....but it's not so great for the people of Maine or elsewhere.

All this happens in an utterly ridiculous context in which the majority gets to determine the rights of the minority. Since when did it become our civic duty to vote on people's basic civil and human rights? And since when is it a great moral victory to vote to DENY people those rights? Something is seriously skewed in our nation's understanding of what it means to be a democratic republic.

Book Review

2009-11-02T21:02:00.003-06:00

I waited until Backbencher finished reading "Juliet, Naked" before posting my book review. I don't know when I first became a fan of Nick Hornby, but he's been one of my favorite authors for several years now. His writing on obsessive fans is tempered with a deep understanding of why fans obsess so, and deep affection for those fans. (One is tempted to wonder if he is quite so compassionate with what must surely be his legion of obsessive fans, but I will skate over that one for now.)

Backbencher's review, which you can read here, says that "the story is about the devotion that many men have to an obscure pop culture figure and how that devotion affects there relationships." And suddenly, all my intimate relationships with males up through college becomes startlingly clear.....Yet I thought the book was about something different. I saw Juliet, Naked as a story depicting the improbable ways that people try to connect with one another, whether through art, fandom, sex, or conversation. Though the characters are clearly connected through their relationship of one obscure album, the obsessive fandom is just a symptom. However, like Backbencher, I found the obsessive fan's character to be the least developed, though his interactions with his new girlfriend reveal some panic and depth I really enjoyed. The musician and the girlfriend were by far the most interesting.

Hornby seems to vacillate in many of his novels between "angriest man in Holloway" and an attempt to find meaning and hope in imperfection. I like him best when he's a little more ambiguously hopeful. There's plenty of that here. And there's usually one or two lines I just adore - but in this book, the best line gives away the entire plot, so I won't reveal it. Perhaps the second-best line is, "The inability to articulate what one feels in any satisfactory way is one of our enduring tragedies." Marvelous, right?

Not being a musician, I was curious about Tucker's epiphany at the end of the novel, about how good songwriters have to make the present the past, to fix the present in time, as it were, in order to create good art from it. The novel also implied that the most meaningful relationships in our lives do not necessarily translate into our best artistic endeavors, and that even a shallow relationship can inspire us to make great art. As one who is constantly spinning tales in my head, this is enormously liberating. In other words, one needn't be an important figure in my life to inspire important figure in a story I might write.

While this is not Hornby's best work (About a Boy wins for sheer melancholy and hope, though it is by necessity dated, fixed in time as it must be), it is a solid and enjoyable read. If you have to slog just the tiniest bit in the middle, keep going. I found the payoff to be entirely worth it!

Vacation Raves

2009-10-12T23:28:00.009-05:00

UPDATED to include Brenda's Soul Food....

Backbencher and I returned from vacation about a week ago. We had a marvelous time! I also have a number of raves from the trip, which I am categorizing out!

Places to Stay:

1. Jack London Lodge, Glen Ellen. If you come to wine country - Sonoma, not that four-letter town down the road - you should stay here. It's less expensive than most of the other places in town, plus it's got plenty of charm. Each room is a little different (I peeked into uninhabited rooms), but they share a certain country charm. (Backbencher wants to assure any husbands out there that it is not too frou-frou.) Did we mention the hot tub?

2. I almost don't want to recommend the Cornell Hotel to you. It's a small place, and if you are there at the same time we are, there might not be room for all of us. We don't want to be stuck somewhere else while you get the fun place. So, let's tell you that the hotel is located right next to the Nob Hill All-Nude Male Revue, featuring Mid-East hunk Adrian. And, it's kind of close to the Tenderloin, and even closer to the part of town known as the "Tender Nob." (I think it should be "Loin Hill" but no one asks me.) You probably don't want to stay there.

Ha ha! More room for us. Seriously, this place was PERFECT for two romantic travelers! It's owned by a French couple, and guests often come in speaking French. Charmant! The restaurant is the Jeanne d'Arc, and the menu looked delicious. Unfortunately, we only had one breakfast there, with a kind of spacey waitress. No matter - it was busy, she brought our food to us, and it was warm and tasty! The medium-size bedroom we had was a little bit smaller than I expected, but the claw-foot tub and the utter charm of the place more than made up for it. It is important to note that even on a first-floor, front-facing room that was literally next to the front door of the hotel, it was very quiet at night. (The loudest part of the room was the heater, which we were able to adjust with no problem.) Bottom line - this is probably the best deal you will find in SF. Stay here. The rates are extraordinarily low and the value is very high.

Good Eats:

1. Le Cheval, Oakland - Maybe it was because we were eating with my aunt, uncle, and 2 of my cousins, but this was a real highlight. (And, it's Zagat rated!) It's Vietnamese food; I don't know how "authentic" but we enjoyed the bird's nest dish immensely. Well, I say "we," my aunt and I fought over seconds of that! There was not a bad choice on the table. I even tried the Vietnamese coffee at the end of the meal - cooled and with sweet condensed milk - that could become a habit!

2. Maya, Sonoma - A guy I went to high school with, D, bought this place a few years ago and it will be a must-visit on all future returns. Not only was the Mexican dinner great (also kind of fancy), but it is made with love! We had a gathering of some folks I graduated HS with, and it was both interesting and really cool. It was also a reminder that who we are at 15 or 18 need not define us forever. There were people at that table I never thought I'd share a meal with (or would want to share a meal with), and yet it was a real blessing! Thanks, peeps!

3. Dosa, Mission District (on Valencia), SF - Another friend from HS, L, is a caterer in the City, and she has a well-deserved and growing reputation there. She and her fiance took us to Dosa, and this was a terrific introduction to South Indian cuisine. Dosas are like crepes filled with all sorts of spicy goodness; L got the habanero dosa and I got the paneer + peas dosa. The "little dosa" that came with L's fiance's meal was HUGE! Check out L's business here.

4. Foreign Cinema, SF - A recommendation by L, where we went with all three of my cousins. So named because the outdoor seating area (complete with heating lamps) points toward a wall upon which arty films get shown. Oyster bar, great drinks, swanky appetizers, every dinner dish we ordered was stupendous (yes, my people eat food off each others' plates; Backbencher does not do this with people other than me, typically, but he was very game with the fam), and I especially liked the pork chop. We also splurged on desserts - all winners there, too! AND, if that didn't beat all....Rosemary's Baby was playing on the outdoor screen. Horrifyingly compelling.

5. Brenda's Soul Food, SF - We are pretty sure this is technically in the Tenderloin, based on the number of homeless folk who asked us for money once we signed up. Yes - signed up. The restaurant seats 40, so people sign up on a sheet outside and wait to be called. The nice thing about such a system is that it favors smaller parties. My cousins recommended the place for brunch, and we're so glad they did! (Thanks, J, M and K!) It's a French soul food place, with a Louisiana flair. I had an amazing oyster scramble, Backbencher had something else yummy, and we shared beignets - something I had never heard of, but with which Backbencher is evidently quite familiar. I am always learning neat things about him! We heard that they are going to buy the dry-cleaners next door and expand, but that could just be hopeful thinking. Definitely worth the visit.

Nice memories:

1. Dinners with the East Bay family. My cousins and their parents are about the most interesting and joyful people you would ever want to spend time with. The girl cousins are artists and I felt more creative just being around them. Boy cousin makes movies and is similarly interesting and creative. And, loving and kind and all that! While you probably can't have dinner with my family, you can eat where we ate - and these two places are phenomenal! Go with people you love, and the memories will be even sweeter. It certainly was for us.

Come to think of it, you probably could have dinner with my family - they are just those kinds of people.

2. We had a delightful time with my moms and sisters at Point Reyes. Thank you, God, for giving us the ocean, including whales. And families.

3. BABIES!!! Baby X-1 is the daughter of a lifelong camp friend and her beloved spouse. Backbencher and I spent a relaxing and wonderful day with the family - my friend has two stepchildren who are well-behaved, smart and interesting. (And very funny!) Baby X-1 is a charmer and she won over both Backbencher and me. Plus, my friend's husband made a delicious dinner, even though he claims that his people, northern Italians, are not known for their cream sauces. To which we say, "You are now!"

Baby X-2 is the daughter of my dear friends from seminary. I got to hold Baby X-2 for about 2 hours in a complicated baby wrap as we wandered around a Berkeley park. Baby X-2's big sis had fun, too! Didn't really cure my baby-lust (did the opposite, in fact), but both of these kids are so easy to get along with that I was very relaxed and happy with them. And AA - that hat is coming!

4. We also enjoyed a good little run at Maxwell Park, even though my former XC course has radically changed. There's no place like home, indeed.

5. A sweet toll booth attendant blessed us as we began our travels across the Bay Bridge. How nice, we both thought.

I don't want to post our rants, but let's just say that if the worst part of your vacation is the 49ers losing badly, well....it's been a pretty good vacation.

Is It Wrong To Laugh At This?

2009-10-01T09:57:00.003-05:00

Apparently, the koalas of the world are dying of a terrible stress disease. This is dreadful, and in no way do I want to minimize those deaths.

It's just that, when I read the article in yesterday's Des Moines Register (don't have the link, but a similar story is here), they went about four paragraphs before they named the disease. And then in a very offhand way. "The koalas are dying of this terrible disease that causes wretched infections. Oh, and it happens to be called chlamydia."

Yes, friends, our dear koala mates are dying of chlamydia. Which, in them apparently functions in much the same way the herpes virus does - with breakouts caused by stress. Although unlike herpes in humans, these chlamydia breakouts tend to be fatal. From the description of the koala's chlamydia, it sounds just like an STI to me - left untreated, it can lead to infertility, blindness, and even death.

The moral to this story is twofold: one, if you think there's a chance you've been exposed to any STI, GET TESTED AND GET TREATMENT! We don't want you to go blind and sterile just because you didn't want to pee in a cup. Two, you should probably get your koalas tested regularly, too. And make sure they have plenty of bamboo to enjoy, as it's the human encroachment on their natural habitats that is leading to this chlamydia outbreak.

Book Review: The Shack

2009-09-25T10:33:00.004-05:00

I have to admit that I've been pretty ambivalent about reading The Shack, by William P. Young, for a long time. I first heard of it from a colleague who really ticks me off most of the time, and the superior way he spoke about the book made me think it was probably very hokey. Then, of course, so many evangelicals came out against it (complaining about "dangerous doctrine") that I thought it probably wouldn't be so bad.

Most recently, a friend and new member of our church talked about how great the book was. Since I really like her and trust her, and since she had pretty solid reasons for liking the book, I decided I should suck it up and read it - if only to learn more what she took from it. At the recent Planned Parenthood book sale, I picked up a used copy for $3 and got to reading.

My first impression was that while the story was cheesy and rather mediocrely written (though still better than the wretchedly written Left Behind series - to say nothing of that series' theology, those books were just badly written), I was kind of into The Shack. While there's virtually no chance that a mystical experience of God would involve three days correcting one's bad theology with the Trinity as sit around a house talking about what they really meant with all that stuff that happened in the Bible, those scenes did produce some good quotes that will be useful to me, and it made for a few thoughtful times.

So much of the book was dialogue - or more precisely, monologue on the part of God - that it made me think of those dorm room discussions we'd have in seminary (or college, or wherever) about Very Important Topics, only this time with the Authority giving the right answers. To its credit, most of the scenes in the Shack with God giving all the right answers were not too "happy-clappy," so it didn't totally turn me off from the book, even though these conversations did seem conveniently tidy most of the time.

I found myself convicted in a few places, faced with the dissonance between what I believe is true of God for other people and the impossible standards to which I hold myself - and the utter ridiculousness of this stance. I did not have a big emotional "come to Jesus" moment in the book, but I did reflect on some things, and probably will continue to do so in the coming weeks and months. That is all to the good, and I'm sure Mr. Young would be happy to know that.

The theology is your garden-variety, radical "God is Love" stuff, shocking to many who will insist on a God of Judgment over a God of Grace, but pretty basic to someone like me, who's been preaching on the radical love of God for some time now (and who's lived and believed that theology for a lot longer than I've been preaching it). I liked that this theology was getting out there. Open Theism doesn't scare me the way it does some others, so even that wasn't a muss. Having God the Father as a bold Black woman and the Holy Spirit as an Asian sprite also wasn't that shocking.

[TOTAL SIDEBAR: I do wonder, however, how African-Americans read and understand this book...does it seem like tokenism to have God portrayed thusly? A misappropriation of skin color just to make a point about upending our human assumptions about God, particularly when that skin color is appropriated without any context about what being Black in the United States is all about, socially, politically, or historically? Just a weak, cheap ploy, almost "Mammy"-ish? I found myself cringing at the representation of God the Father as a bold Black woman, there to comfort hurts and making good food, offering sweet, tender care. Either give the bold Black woman some less-stereotypically female (and particularly, less stereotypically black slave/servant) things to do, or put a male Father God in the kitchen and let Him heal through good cooking.]

Still, a lot of stuff annoyed me. There was a lot of "magical thinking" in the book, by which I mean to say a lot of magical stuff happens. This is not Garcia Marquez' "magical realism," or even Harry Potter, but more like hocus-pocus. Was this just a clumsy attempt to portray a mystical experience with God? If so, it was very poorly done. The plot was unbelievable and silly, but I wanted to give it a chance. And to be truthful, bad writing and pedestrian theology included, I enjoyed large parts of the book when I could just jump into the story. But in the end, I just couldn't make the final leap. Maybe that's because I don't have a real mystical center, much as I'd like to - but I suspect it's more because the book just wasn't that well-written. And truthfully, if this kind of story is what passes for modern-day mysticism, give me Julian of Norwich any day.

Where the book really started to lose me is when it gets deep into atonement theology - that Jesus willingly took on the punishment for our sins on the cross. In my theological understanding of the death and resurrection of our Lord (so succinctly expressed by my dear friend Legs last night), the cross and Jesus' torture and execution at the hands of the Roman authorities says a lot more about humanity - our fear, our desire for control, our bloodlust and our revenge-seeking - than it does about God. The resurrection is where God takes the worst that we have done to one another (and even to God) and redeems it. You can't have the resurrection without the cross, of course, and the fact that One is willing to be so faithful to God's message as to die for it is, indeed, awe-inspiring in the most biblical sense of "awe." But it is the Resurrection that shows God's true power, overcoming death.

It was also frustrating that for most of the book, Mack called this clearly feminine representation of God "Papa" (but at least there were female pronouns attached to her and that disjunction made good sense). Yet, what ruined even this for me is that at what is supposed to be the climax of the story, Papa appears as a man, telling the main character that "You are going to need a father today." Puh-leeze. The climactic scene (which by the way was so totally obvious you could see it coming a mile away) was not very dramatically written, nor did the main character break down in such a way as to need the healing love of a perfect Father. Papa as a bold Black woman would have been just as effective - and even more dramatic.

What this says to me is that, in the end, in the hardest things we have to face in this life, nothing is good enough as a male Father God to do the job. So, in the final analysis, William Young did not upend our assumptions about God the Father, but reinforced the masculine portrayal as the truest and deepest understanding of what it means to be divine.

And finally, the book's ending is so very pedestrian. What happens to Mack after he leaves the shack is given short shrift - as if Young realized he had to end it somehow and just threw in another dramatic scene, this time set in the real world. Then, let's wrap up all the other details and put a shiny bow on it! Sorry, life, and the aftermath of violence in a family does not end so neatly, even with a mystical experience accompanying it.

Even as the book tried to talk about the hard road of faith, grace, and forgiveness - and brothers and sisters, if you take nothing from the Gospels, you must know that the road to which Jesus Christ calls us is full of hardship and heart-pain as we embody faith, grace and forgiveness to those who have hurt us most deeply - even as the book tried to talk about how hard it is to "let go and let God," still, in the end, Mack is rewarded with a sugary, happy ending in the "real world." Happy-clappy is really the best way to describe it. Was Young trying to make a parallel to the Job story? If so, it was as saccharine and neatly-tied-up as it comes - and therefore utterly unrealistic. Even the ending of Job offers a little more substance and ambiguity.

So, I can't really recommend this book, but even with all my complaints about it, I don't think I will condemn it, either. Like my evangelical brethren say (but for very different reasons), "Read it carefully and with a discerning heart," take from it what you can, and let the rest go. If it gets you thinking about God and God's activity in the world, if it invites you to trust more in the Living God, and if it inspires you to live a more grace-filled, forgiving life, that's all to the good.

Yet Another Friend of the Blog

2009-09-23T11:44:00.002-05:00

When I first moved to this fair town, I did not expect that the first minister to welcome me to town would be the Baptist minister down the street - especially not when I learned he was a Southern Baptist (the church is affiliated with the ABC). But that's exactly what happened.

From the beginning, RC and I approached our friendship not as a way to change or convert each other, but to learn and grow together. Sure, we had very spirited conversations about theology (we both like to argue and win!), and sure, there were significant differences. But in our very first conversation, he shared with me that while he was not convinced that women should be ordained, his heart was slowly being opened to that possibility because of a very gifted Presbyterian pastor in town. (And for good reason - she was theologically conservative in that thoughtful, Fleming Rutledge sort of way. I miss her!)

Well, as these things go, the church spit him out before too long, his personal life became somewhat of a mess, and his theology was pretty shaken. But, he'd been a good friend to me, and so I committed myself to continuing our friendship. He's a decent fellow and has a good heart. He's since moved on, and actually just took a job in Houston, TX. But we manage to stay in touch, and recently he told me about his new blog. It's very personal much of the time, but it's fun to read nonetheless. Like a little peek into his brain.

And no, I have no idea why it's named what it is. You'll have to ask him.

Introducing the Rev. Geoffrey Black...

2009-09-22T15:09:00.002-05:00

....the General Minister and President-Elect of the United Church of Christ. Don't take my introduction - go read about his hopes and dreams for our denomination for yourself.

As I think I mentioned some time ago, I had the privilege to meet Rev. Black at the UCC's 2030 Clergy Network pre-Synod event this summer. He's a genius, and more importantly, a man of deep and vibrant faith, with a desire to listen and hear those who would speak. I have a great deal of admiration for him and believe he is more than capable of meeting the challenges our denomination faces in the next several years.

New Friend of the Blog

2009-09-15T16:28:00.003-05:00

I found this fellow while perusing a colleague's Facebook page. I find him interesting and provocative, and while I don't always agree with what he writes, I find we're really on the same page most of the time. Isn't that funny how that happens? It's not so much about agreeing on the goals or the vision but differing on how to get there....it's more like we are looking at the same piece of cut glass from different sides, so we prioritize objectives differently. He makes me think, though, and I like that.

Plus, progressive Christians in the South need all the love and support we can give them. (That goes for you, too, Lucky Fresh!) Plus, he's interesting. Go forth and read.

Also, keep on the lookout for another Friend of the blog post, which is coming soon, from a former colleage here in Iowa now embarking on a new adventure in Houston. Houston, we have adventures! (Sorry, RC, couldn't resist!)

News From the 'Net Has a New Home, and an Update

2009-09-11T20:51:00.004-05:00

Do any of you read Street Prophets? Well, you should. (check the link to the side) But these days, one of my favorite parts of SP has moved to another site, and you should DEFINITELY check that out. Again and again, in fact. Russell King is, well, awesome. He reads all the right-wing websites so we don't have to - and he gives us the highlights (or lowlights, as it were).

Plus, he may be the king of snark.

Sorry I've been so absent of late. This is the downside of preparing for 3 Sunday school classes this fall. That includes figuring out the room arrangements, getting those rooms in some sort of shape, buying a gazillion supplies....oh, and shaping a curriculum. That's actually my favorite part of Sunday school prep - and the teachers are already excited and making their own additions to the work I've done, which makes me feel like letting go of the teaching aspect is going to be okay.

That's right. This is the first year since my time here that I will not be teaching Sunday school. We just have too many classes, and we also have some very gifted people who stepped forward to teach (and a couple of very gifted people who said no this year, but that is okay, too). Since I'm still writing/adapting/shaping the curriculum, it's like I'm teaching.....only with better teachers actually doing the work and adapting as needed. If it goes well, we may explore sharing it.

We also have at least two students who I think maybe experiencing a call to ministry - whatever that looks like for pre-teens in a mainline context. (What does that look like?) At least, they seem to exhibit some definite interest in the work I do and some definite gifts that would make ministry a good fit for them.

The MotherShip

2009-08-29T18:19:00.003-05:00

Sorry to be absent for so long, kiddos. I was in Cleveland at the MotherShip for a few days this week, utterly swamped with meetings. Actually, it was just one long meeting, with nine other Presidential Fellows - part of a pilot fellowship within our denomination.

Let me just say this has been an exercise in taking it to the next level in a serious way. I was in a room with conference staff, senior pastors, other fantastic clergy doing all manner of amazing things - all age 40 or younger. I had a hard time remembering that the work I do as a missionary - spreading the good news of progressive Christianity in rural areas - is just as impressive and amazing. Some people seriously went to bat to make sure I was at that table, and I intend to honor their belief in me by taking myself a great deal more seriously from now on.

This meeting was probably one of the most intense and rewarding experiences I have ever had in my profession. And it was exhausting! In the best sort of way. I can't wait to see everyone in January. In Savannah!

So, pray for us as we go forward in faith in this new adventure, and pray with thanksgiving for those who have invested so heavily in all of us.

The Tornado is God's Message to the ELCA to Repent? Really? That's What You're Going With? Interesting....

2009-08-20T21:25:00.006-05:00

So, I don't know how it is for other people in seminary, but while I was there I made a ton of great friends, and two extremely close friends. So close, in fact, that I've become life-long friends with their families as well, and thanks to the wonders of the internet, we all still stay in fairly close touch. The younger sister of my friend, let's call the sister K, messaged me on Facebook today to ask for a firm rebuttal to this article.

I was only too happy to help. Now, I should start by saying that in these kinds of cases, I seldom find it productive in any way to argue that homosexuality is not a sin (at least, not at first). I find that that argument gets really intractable, really quickly. They aren't going to change my mind, and I am not going to change their minds. But if you want to act like homosexuality, mentioned at the most 9 or so times in the Bible, is more important to God than hunger, failure to show hospitality, and the oppression of God's people ... well, I'll play *that* game.

Here's what I said:

Oooh, let me rebut those ridiculous points, also one by one:

1. We all have sins we practice daily and unrepentantly. Yours may not be a "sexual sin," but if you are going to say "all sin excludes you from the Kingdom of God," well....maybe you should examine self-righteousness, pride, and lack of hospitality within yourselves, 'cause it seems like you might be guilty of at least those three sins. You may say that you repent of these, but if so, why do you keep practicing them?
Oh, and my passage for this: "For while we were sinners, at the right time Jesus died for the ungodly." Romans 5:6

2. You seem awfully concerned with dealing with "homosexual sexual sin." Even if GLBT persons make up 10% of the population, that leaves 90% of them heterosexual. Why aren't you up in arms about all the heterosexual people having sex before or outside of marriage? Why aren't you proposing resolutions that censure or defrock straight clergy who engage in such behaviors? Since that affects a far greater number of people, I should think you'd want to be proportionally concerned about that. Also, Jesus explicitly preached against divorce, though he never spoke about homosexuality. Why aren't you focusing your attention on THAT sin?*

3. What's evil is discouraging loving and holy relationships among consenting adults, and expending so much energy lambasting gays and lesbians. Didn't Jesus also say to feed the hungry, and proclaim liberty to the captives and release to the prisoners? To clothe those who are naked and to bind up those who are broken in body and spirit? Maybe you need to refocus your priorities to the things Jesus actually condemned - injustice, hunger, illness and oppression.
In fact, do you want to know what the real sin of Sodom was? Check out Ezekiel 16:49 - "This was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy." Nothing there about same-sex love.

4-5 - Considering how the vote turned out, perhaps a more appropriate passage to use is, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God's works might be revealed in him." IOW that tornado was an opportunity to see God's works revealed in the gathered assembly.

6. Sensuality is very much a part of the Gospel, and is not antithetical to salvation. Or do you not put much stock in the Incarnation?

Oh, and one other thing, if this was a sign to the ELCA, to whom was the tsunami in Asia in 2006 a sign, and for what? It must be nice to know for certainty the mind of God - something the prophets and even Jesus didn't always know! (Just look at him in the Garden of Gethsemane....)

FWIW, the Bible never explicitly condemns the sort of loving same-sex relationships we see today. Most of the condemnation of homosexual behavior has to do with temple prostitution, lack of hospitality, or some really misogynistic understandings of sexual behavior.

Later, I commented to K that it never fails to amaze/shock/horrify me that people seem to think that proclaiming God's so-called "justice" is far more important than demonstrating God's mercy and compassion. How does that passage go again... "Judge not, lest ye be judged"? I am sure I read that in the Bible somewhere.....

* Heh heh heh, I got a perverse little joy out of that, given that I myself was divorced from my first husband.

Bread and Wisdom

2009-08-17T09:23:00.002-05:00

This is the sermon I preached on August 16, 2009, using John 6:51-58 as my text.

Just as Jesus can’t seem to stop telling us that he is “the bread of life,” so it seems that we cannot escape this metaphor. We’ve been here for a few weeks already…And this week, it gets personal. Fleshy, even, as Jesus tells the Jewish leaders that “Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man drink his blood, you have no life in you.” This is, for so many of us, dangerous language, even bordering on assault. It certainly offends our modern sensibilities that tell us the Gospel should be sweet and safe and not conflict at all with our mainstream, middle-class and largely Anglo ideals about “goodness.”

“Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood have eternal life, and I will raise them up on the last day; for my flesh is true food and my blood is true drink.” It’s about this place in the Gospel reading that I start thinking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the Twilight series – about a young woman who falls in love with a vampire. Mostly as a defense mechanism, I’ll admit, against having to deal with the powerful and uncomfortable images of this text.

Protestants generally eschew the Roman Catholic belief of “transubstantiation,” whereby the elements of the Eucharist (or Communion) are literally transformed into Christ’s actual body and blood in the sacrament. But beyond that, there’s a whole lot of different beliefs among different Protestant Churches about what Communion is or is not. At some point in our collective history, Communion became a celebration of Jesus’ sacrificial death, often couched in terms of “dying for our sins,” but in the beginning, the early church celebrated this meal as a feast of the resurrection, of Jesus’ conquering of death and of our sharing in the “shalom” life, the “kingdom life” the “basiliea” of God in the here-and-now.

Certainly, even within any one congregation, you’d be hard-pressed to find a unified theology of the Table. Some of us believe that Christ is spiritually present in the meal, somehow. Some believe that the community sharing in the meal is what sanctifies the elements and the people who share them. Some of us believe that this is a memorial meal, done to commemorate what Jesus did in the Gospels and to obey his call to “do this in remembrance of” Him. Some of us, it must be fairly said, just like getting to eat a little something at church. Some of us have no idea what goes on here.

For some of us, nothing “happens,” but the rite is simply what is done periodically in the life of the church. Some of us – and this is especially true of newcomers to most churches, I’ve learned over the years – care deeply about respecting the views of the community in this sacrament and want to make sure their beliefs are either in line with the prevailing wisdom or that there is room for divergent views. Some of us believe that you must be “right with God” in order to come to the table, and some of us believe that you come to this table precisely so that you may have the opportunity to deepen your relationship with God. I am certain that others of us have different views – views which may vary on the day, the person presiding at the table, and what has happened in the morning before church. Almost all of us, I daresay, take the ritual very seriously.

Certainly there is no condemnation here for any of the ways that you understand what happens at this table. However, the repetition of Jesus’ insistence that he is “the bread of life” has been rattling around in my brain for the past few weeks, and it’s been an occasion for me to reflect on what I see happening in this ritual.

We very celebrate with a single loaf that is not cut, and some grape juice. We use juice partly out of tradition, and partly out of respect for those who cannot or choose not to consume even the tiniest bit of alcohol. We do have gluten-free wafers for those who don’t eat gluten products. These are two ways we can lower barriers that may prevent people from coming to the table. We also are clear in our bulletin that we practice Open Communion, meaning that all are welcome to share in the feast. We don’t require that you pass a test or belong to a church, or even that you’ve been baptized. We believe, in short, that it is God in Christ who invites all people to this meal – so who are we to deny anyone an occasion of grace to which God has specifically invited us all?

And people typically come up to the front and tear a piece of bread from the loaf and dip it into the cup. For me, this is really where it gets interesting. For in the tearing of the bread, we are quite literally enacting the breaking apart of Christ’s body. The obvious symbolism – that we are all participants in Christ’s death, sacrificial atonement, and so forth – is less interesting to me in that moment than the less-overt symbol. By tearing this bread apart, we embody at this altar what we often do in life: tearing apart the Body of Christ by our failure to love our enemies, our comfort with our own privilege in the face of others’ oppression, and all the other ways that we sin against each other. We tear apart Christ’s body in much the same way we tear each other apart – like greedy wolves anxious for more, desperate to ensure we get at least our share (if not more!).

And, sometimes we tear the loaf carefully, tenderly, knowing we are causing some pain but unable to stop ourselves. We hope the small tears will hurt less; we think we don’t deserve anything more than just a little bit, or we want to make sure there’s enough for all, and we are willing to sacrifice our part for others. And all this for what? A broken piece of Christ’s body and a leftover carcass on the plate for others.

And then there is the blood, the life force of all creatures. How do we even begin to talk about that?

If this were all we did here, you’d be right to be disgusted and never want to share in the meal again. But the amazing thing to me about the Eucharist is how much more is going on than just the tearing apart of bread and the sharing of juice. The pieces that we tear off, whether greedily or tenderly, huge chunks or tiny crumbs, yet somehow remain part of one, unified and unbroken whole – Christ’s body. As we take a part of that whole into ourselves, even as it becomes a part of us by nourishing us and being digested by our bodies, we become a part of IT. We who are many become one in the sharing of this meal. That bread, though it is torn apart, yet makes us whole and one with each other. We may try to tear it into small pieces, but instead it knits us together as One, binding us one of another, parts of one piece, members of one Body – Christ’s Body – the Church!

In addition to making us One all together, this ritual makes us whole within our very selves, for we are sharing in the feast of the life of the One who came to heal and restore us to our human glory. We are becoming one within ourselves and one in the mystical body of Christ. What a great mystery this is!

And as we come to appreciate the paradox that is the Eucharist, a ritual of breaking apart and of making one, we come to know other deep truths – that we are called to be a witness for peace in a world of war; that we are called to be bearers of Shalom – God’s holy and equitable peace – even to our enemies; and that God is within us and strengthening us when we challenge the systems of oppression in our world.

This is the mystery Jesus was getting at when he challenged the religious leaders of his day with those words about eating his flesh and drinking his blood. Remember that these leaders themselves lived a tenuous existence under Rome’s empire, that whatever religious freedom they had came at the pleasure of an emperor who was not known for consistency or generosity of spirit or tolerance of diversity. These leaders, quite simply, were terrified that Jesus, in empowering and challenging the people, would incite riots that would destabilize the only world they knew.

But Jesus did not come to earth to give us surety or to banish ambiguity from our lives, however much we may desire certainty and answers. He wanted us to wrestle with meaning – he wanted us to explore the mystery of our earthly, fleshly lives, and what it meant that God Most High was willing to share in that earthly, fleshy existence. Too often for our tastes, Jesus does not comfort us. (In fact, in this particular exchange, he does not suggest that Communion is meant to be comforting, however comforting and renewing some of us may find it.)

Instead, he invites us to lean into the unknown, to trust ourselves in the presence of the Unknown, to trust our own flesh and bones to an unknown future – just as Jesus himself trusted his flesh and blood to a future he did not always understand or like terribly well. This is the peace Christ promises. In the uncertainty of Communion, Jesus invites us to find true life, a life that endures, a life that never ends – even if, at some point, our own flesh is torn and our bodies broken by the slings and arrows of this life.

So I think it appropriate that we share this meal together now. It is not our “normal Sunday” for Communion, but then again, we have never been people who worried terribly hard about doing things differently than “normal.” And I invite us to share in this meal in a new way. Normally, we come forward to meet God – or ourselves – or the Spirit – or whatever – in this ritual. But today it is important that you know that God also wishes to come to you, that the point of the Gospel is not the world coming to God, but God coming to the world, and so today this meal will be brought to you. Receive it as you will, by communing with the elements, by asking me for a blessing, or both. And may you receive Christ’s mysterious presence and the Spirit’s most gracious wisdom in these moments.

I will ask our musician to play our next hymn, #421 We Gather Together, and for you to remain seated and sing it together. (Do note that the tune for this hymn can be found on the previous page)

Then we celebrated Communion together, with me serving each member. Following this, I offered the following prayer:

Solomon, on the occasion of his ascension to the throne of Israel, prayed to God for wisdom instead of gold, holy knowledge instead of worldly power. May we who share in the feast of God’s presence also seek – and find – that same wisdom. Amen.

Parents and Children

2009-08-17T09:19:00.004-05:00

This is the sermon I preached on August 9, using the text from 2 Samuel 18

The lament is one of the most famous, immortalized in novels and movies: “Oh, Absalom! My son, my son, Absalom! Would that I have died instead of you!” King David’s grief for his son and how he ended up belies a larger story, of how cross-wise parents and children see the world!

It is one of the oldest stories in the book – figuratively and literally. How children so often disappoint their parents, frustrate the plans parents have for them – and yet how parents persist in their love of those same children! Poor David was cursed with not just one son, but two, who end up breaking his heart. First there is Amnon, firstborn of all David’s children. First-born sons have special importance in the Biblical narrative, and in the cultures from which it emerged. They are inheritors of the largest share of the family’s fortune, and they were the ones who were expected to carry on the family business, whether it was tending sheep or leading a nation.

Amnon, beloved of his father, becomes obsessively infatuated with his half-sister Tamar. Enlisting his father’s unwitting help, he contrives a plan by which he takes by force what has been forbidden to him by custom. Having satiated his base desire, he has no further use for her. He sends Tamar away, compounding the shame of the rape with his casting her off like so much old clothing.

David, hearing the scandal, refuses to punish Amnon, because after all, he loves his son and he is the first-born. Who would not want to protect their child, even in the face of such a hideous crime? The relative worth of sons and daughters in the Old Testament, and even, it must be said, the New Testament and much of the past two thousand years of church history, is so taken for granted that it is not even mentioned in the text. When the victim and the child are both one’s children, well, David has chosen his allegiance.

And in choosing Amnon, David loses not only his daughter Tamar but also his son Absalom, who contrives a plan not only to kill his half-brother but also to usurp the throne. Can you not see Absalom’s point of view? From Absalom’s perspective, David is allowing his own daughter’s rape to go unavenged, and worse yet, actually protecting the rapist! Absalom cannot understand why a father – his father – would not respond with all the power and authority of one’s position if that father learned the identity of his daughter’s rapist. While King David can only see his legacy potentially destroyed, Absalom can only see the pain of his sister. Ah, how cross-wise parents and children see the world!

They cannot find a way to each other. And yet, when Absalom the usurper is killed, David is ripped apart with grief: “Oh Absalom, Absalom – my son Absalom!” All could be forgiven, if only Absalom were not dead.

Marilynne Robinson describes this grief and the sorrow of parents so well in her novel Gilead, as one elderly man speaks of his best friend love for his wayward son: “And old Boughton, if he could stand up out of his chair, out of his decrepitude and crankiness and sorrow and limitation, would abandon all those handsome children of his, mild and confident as they are, and follow after that one son whom he has never known, whom he has favored as one does a wound, and he would protect him as a father cannot, defend him with a strength he does not have, sustain him with a bounty beyond any resource he could ever dream of having. If Boughton could be himself, he would utter pardon ever transgression, past, present and to come, whether or not it was a transgression in fact or his to pardon” (p. 238).

This son, this utter mystery and disappointment to his father, source of his greatest sorrow, this Jack, fails at his every attempt to succeed in his father’s eyes. This novel, and its companion Home, tell the story that if only these two men could know each other as each wishes to know and to be known, what reconciliation and what life could come. But of course, one of the great mysteries of life is that we do not always know each other as we wish we could, and we are not always known by each other in the deepest and truest ways.

Jack cannot stay, though his father is dying and his family needs him, because he has another

family who needs him. It is the early 1950s and his wife and son are black. In rural Iowa, then more so than know, such a match would be scandalous. In Jack’s eyes, the scandal would be too much for his family to bear, and in his day and age, it is sad to say that he is probably right. Even if the family welcomed this wife and son, the community could not.

So in order for him to do right by the family he has made, the family who has healed him and matured him and made him into a man – in other words, to live up to the responsibilities as his father raised him to do, Jack must betray the family who has loved him and nurtured him through all his prodigal years. In order to stop being a prodigal to this wife and son, he must remain a prodigal in the eyes of his brothers and sisters and father.

Oh, how cross-wise parents and children see the world!

Last week, I met with a newcomer to our town, who wanted to know where the “gay community” was here. I had to tell him something he had recently figured out on his own: that such a thing does not exist here. Yes, there are gay people in this community. Yes, there are same-sex couples in this community. Yes, our church is an oasis of welcome and hospitality for many who are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender. But no, there is no gay community to speak of here. Or, not one that I know about, anyway.

He related to me that he had heard of many gay and lesbian children of Red Oak, sons and daughters of prominent and average families, who have left this place because they had no welcome here, no place to be who they truly were. It is a story I have heard many times. The truth is, this community is not as welcoming as we could be of different people and their gifts, as accepting of the different ways our sons and daughters see the world and their place in it, nor as open as we sometimes profess. It is not always about sexual identity, either, but about all the ways that our children become so different from their parents.

Though we see ourselves as a community that is “a shade better,” though we try to make this place as idyllic as possible for our children, though we want to believe that this is a great place to live, raise children, and to have our grandchildren grow up, the truth is that this community can be intolerant of “outsiders,” that it can be challenging to feel safe if one thinks differently, loves differently, or lives differently than a narrow view of what is considered acceptable. Our children see this, and for their own emotional or physical safety, or in their desire to live openly and with integrity, they do often leave. And we wonder why.

And though we may ask why, we seldom do the work necessary to change the answers. We know why – our children tell us. They fear for their safety, often for good reason. They are teased and bullied, often mercilessly. They decide that putting some distance between themselves and their hometown is better than remaining hidden within a closet. They simply do not think they can change a community’s attitudes. And often, the parent’s response is not to help create a new future safe for all children, but to try to protect one’s own. One’s own heritage, one’s own story, one’s own reputation.

Diana Butler Bass, in the book we’ll be studying together this fall, Christianity for the Rest of Us, related a story about how the community in which she grew up has literally vanished. The buildings are still there, but the people who made up her childhood are no longer there. She does not, however, waste a lot of time pondering why this is so. She knows that for some of us, that question is never-ending and ultimately, never-answerable. We cannot always know why our world changes; but we know that it always is.

The questions we must be asking ourselves, Butler Bass suggests, are not questions that ask us to look back, or to become mired in a past that once was (or maybe only exists in our memory), but to ask how we might create a new future. We must do what David did not, and listen to our sons and daughters as they tell us how they see the world. We must empower them and ourselves to work for the justice and the hope made known to our children in the Gospel, and, speaking the truth in love, we must be more than an oasis of welcome, but rather a beacon of God’s liberation for all of God’s children. We must rise up out of ourselves and our pasts to become who God has called us to be – loving, forgiving and forgiven, blessed by God to be a blessing to the world.

Then it may be said that while parents and children often see the world cross-wise, still we work side-by-side to heal old wounds and make new the hopes of God’s people. Thanks be to God for different visions that lead us to God’s promises, fulfilled for all. Amen.

Man on Fire

2009-08-16T21:13:00.002-05:00

Does anyone out there really understand the movie Man on Fire with Denzel Washington? I've seen it all the way through once, and found it incomprehensible but compelling.

Now I've seen it several more times in parts, and it is equally baffling. Tonight it is on Telemundo, and curiously enough, it is no more baffling than in English. Perhaps it's because the story takes place largely in and around Mexico City, so there is already a lot of Spanish in the film (though on Telemundo, there are no subtitles and the English parts are dubbed into Spanish).

I really want to like the film - who doesn't like Denzel? who doesn't like Dakota? But I'm finding it really hard to figure the whole thing out. Is it just a bad film? Am I just not getting something about it? Please, do let me know your impressions of the movie.

Holy Church Service, Batman!

2009-08-16T19:27:00.003-05:00

A year ago at this time, I was planning Sunday School lessons for two fourth-graders. This year, I am shaping a curriculum for two classes of students who range in age from 3-12. Up until this morning, I was expecting that between the classes, we might have 8-10 students on a fairly consistent basis.

After today, it is entirely possible that we will have 15 in the classes. Fifteen. Regularly. We had nine visitors in church today - including five fantastic kids! Since our worship attendance is normally about 25-35, the addition of nine people is significant and marvelous. There were 46 of us today. And I do think our visitors will be back. (I sure hope so!)

It's also fabulous in that there was a diverse group of folk who joined us for the first time - a mom with a toddler daughter, a mom with four kids, an older couple, and a gentleman who is planning to run for U.S. Congress in our district. Plus a larger-than usual group of "regulars," who are themselves a heady mix of families, widowers, widows, older couples, and same-sex couples of a variety of ages.

Conventional wisdom seems to be that church growth happens when that new and exciting minister comes to town, and I expect there are places where that happens. But in smaller communities, or at least in this one, even dynamic ministers really have to build trust in order to impact a community - and that comes with time. I think it also helps that over the past few years, I have built real friendships with a number of the people who've ended up coming to church in the past year. They have seen that I am their friend and that my relationship with them has nothing to do with church. They know that I will be their friend if they never come to church; and they know that if this church community is not for them, we will still be friends.

Of course, I will happily navigate the challenges of friends joining the church I serve, and if this is a good fit, nothing would make me happier than friends finding a home in the church I love so well. In fact, I rather like the way we've rather unconventionally grown and the ways that this growth is emerging and taking shape in the life of our church community.

This is a big of rambly post, I know - but I'm still riding the "high" from worship and fellowship time today - and I can't wait to start my work week! Thank you, visitors, friends and members!

Adventures in Bathroom Redecoration

2009-08-15T20:37:00.002-05:00

This week I went to an unnamed and terrible, terrible store to do a little research for my educator job and ended up killing a little time there. And, of course, giving money to the terrible empire. But this is not a self-flagellating post about giving money to terrible multi-national corporations who pay crap wages to their workers, resist union organizing, and destroy local industries.

This is a post about the marvelous shower curtain I bought there.

We have not done much to redecorate the house we own. That includes the cloth shower curtain in the upstairs bathroom. It was a deep maroon and lovely enough, so I kept it. But recently I noticed that it was in desperate need of replacing. Not cleaning, mind you - replacing. As some of you know, I'm kind of lackadaisical about housekeeping and don't enjoy shopping all that much. So it hadn't really been on my list, but hanging around in my head.

When I went to the terrible store this week, I cruised past the bathroom wares and saw a rather nice cloth curtain at a reasonable price. It doesn't really match the rest of the "decor" in the room - it was striped in a variety of shades of blue - but I liked it. So I bought it, and this morning I installed it.

Oh.My.God. All of a sudden I realize how terrible and dark the shower has been for the past six years. This morning I had the most delightful shower, because the curtain was light and airy and beautiful and actually let in light! Backbencher, who got the first shower today, is in for a BIG surprise tomorrow. Shhh!

So now, we redecorate the bathroom to fit the curtain.

World Friend Collision Events

2009-08-11T22:23:00.003-05:00

This is my new expression for those times when friends from your different "worlds" come together in one event. So, if my sex educator friends, a couple of clergy colleagues, a few parishioners and my drinking friends get together for a party celebrating the release of a CD by a friend from college (whether he's there or not), that would be a World Friend Collision Event. Or, if while visiting NYC with Backbencher, we dine with folk from Marble Church, Broadway UCC and NYU, that would also count. You get the idea.

Like many folk, I used to get worked up about these kinds of events, hoping people would connect and trying to find some of those points of contact in advance so that I could have some ways to direct conversation. And, I don't know, sometimes that worked. But more often, people found other cool stuff in common and bonded over that, without my help, or I learned all sorts of new things about all kinds of friends....or it just didn't work out. My friends didn't bond. In which case, Apples to Apples seldom lets me down.

But part of being a recovering perfectionist means I try letting go of outcomes around these sorts of things. If I think people would mesh well together, I try to bring them together and let stuff happen. If I don't think they mesh well together ... well, that's why we have different circles of friends. I guess. I kind of like it when my worlds collide, overall. I think it has something to do with wholeness and integrity of self. Naturally, I don't expect all my friends to be friends with each other, but I like when points of contact and relationship between mutual friends (that don't put me at the center of the relationship) emerge.

Weddings and funerals don't count as WFCE's - but lunch at India Star in Des Moines this Friday does! If you're in the area, come join us at 12:30ish. I have a board meeting in the morning for the Iowa Initiative to Reduce Unintended Pregnancies, so I'll be all fancily dressed, but you can wear your casual clothes.

See you at WFCE '09!

Oh, Absalom

2009-08-08T14:20:00.003-05:00

I'm reflecting on Absalom this week. His death is the lectionary text for this week, and I am pondering the complicated journey of his life. His first real appearance is when he avenges the rape of his sister Tamar by his half-brother Amnon. And I've been wondering, how does one go from being what we may legitimately call a hero to a usurper of the throne, killed ignominiously by his father's friend and general Joab as Absalom's head is caught in an oak tree?

This story is about David, too - about his love of his firstborn son Amnon and his excusal of even the most hideous of crimes, about how his love of Amnon and the memory of this son (a crass and callous man) blinds him notions of justice, and to the political intrigue brewing right under his nose. David, too, bears some responsibility for how Absalom turns out, as any parent does. And yet his grief for his traitorous son is no less than that of his first-born. Curious, the relationship between parents and children.

Anyway, these are the thoughts rattling around in my head today. I will probably be more coherent tomorrow at church, when I preach on parents and children.

Once Again, Iowa Is on the Forefront

2009-08-05T20:45:00.001-05:00

Only this time, it's about texting to 911. Cool, huh?

This One is For Sleazy Nate

2009-08-04T19:06:00.004-05:00

Ah, Sleazy Nate. Where would I be without the endless stories and laughter he has provided over the years? I dated Sleazy Nate for a few months in college, until the utter disregard with which he treated me (which can be summarized by the phrase "three other girls in three other states") finally reached a tipping point with my self-esteem. I suppose I *could* have dumped him earlier .... but we know that sad story. The good news is, eventually I did get my act together and break up with him, and it made for some hilarious moments later on down the line. Plus, he has the BEST nickname of all my exes.

Now he's a rather famous "artist," and I only use the quotes because he's an artist who makes things out of Legos. Yes, Legos. He took the fantasy of an eight-year-old and turned it into a career. He gave up a law career to become a master builder at Legoland, and now makes ungodly sums of money creating life-size "sculptures" of various things. He's not bad, actually. But, God, he's (still) pretentious - bless his heart. The weirdest thing was seeing him on Letterman with my then-father-in-law Si. How do you say to your FIL, "Oh, I used to [ahem] go out with* that guy?" (You don't. You tell him you knew him in college and leave it at that.)

Once, at a bar (I wasn't drinking, Ma, I swear!), I found myself at one end of a table full of girls Sleazy Nate had either dated or hooked up with. SN was at the other end of the table. I called out to him, let my eyes gaze along the length of the table, and looked back. He almost walked out with his then-girlfriend. Apparently he's not so sleazy not to be shamed by some things, anyway.

I swear, though, no matter how sleazy Nate was, I never, ever, ever even considered this kind of plan. Ladies, ladies, ladies - the best revenge is living well, not Krazy glue + genitals.

* I was going to say "schtup" but apparently, one person does not schtup another. Two (or presumably more than two) people schtup together. Thank you, Urban Dictionary! Plus, I'm pretty sure my in-laws read this blog....

Babies, babies, everywhere!

2009-07-26T19:48:00.006-05:00

Babies are a terrific way to encourage me to knit. So, to all my friends out there, keep having them! I am in the midst of a multi-hat project for all the babies coming into my life these days. Here's where I am so far:

The pattern is quite simple - it's free (and here), and it only takes me about two hours from start to finish (including weaving in ends, adding the ear flaps and braiding the ties). I'm rather a slow knitter so a focused person could probably complete it in a little more than an hour.

This one

is for Baby Girl D.M., who is expected to arrive in mid-August to parents K and A. K was my matron of honor and A played at my wedding. The purple one is for my college roommate M and her husband T's baby girl, and I'm yet to figure out which other babies get which hats. If you have ideas .... let me know.

In a week or so I'm planning to try to adapt it for a) knitting in the round, and b) adults. Surprisingly, my knitting confidence has dramatically increased since Synod - that's due to Pope Laura the Beneficent and Holy Knitter. Thanks, gals! If I manage to create a workable pattern, I'll post it here with credit to the good people at Lion's Brand.

In other knitting news, I also finished another project last night - the infamous purse. It turned out fairly well, considering I forgot the last piece of instructions, which was to take it out of the dryer while it was still a bit damp in order to shape it. (Any thoughts on how to correct that?) I was just so happy to be finished that when I was felting it, I just put it in the dryer last night and went to sleep. Still, I'm pretty glad with how it turned out:

It's not perfect, obviously, and if I were doing this again, I would be a lot more careful with the pattern part (which was a little tighter than the plain brown sections). But, I learned I can take on a sort-of challenging pattern and it can turn out well! And I also learned that felting covers a multitude of sins.

Thank God for these great little projects! And, of course, for babies. We can't wait to meet you!

Oh! One More Gem From Yesterday

2009-07-22T15:31:00.002-05:00

I forgot to mention that I spoke to one of our local magistrates about the change in Iowa's marriage laws. Turns out, this magistrate has already presided at a same-sex marriage. The magistrate's exact words to me: "I thought the court made the right decision."

Who knew the allies we have in our midst? We won't know unless we ask. And I think I've already noted the kindness and utter professionalism of our county recorder's office. I have no idea about their personal views, but really, it doesn't matter. They are doing their job graciously and effectively, as they always have.

I am really proud of this little community, and so happy to call it home.

"Pastor, What Do You Do About ..."

2009-07-22T14:25:00.006-05:00

A few times now, gay or lesbian couples have come to my office to ask me what I do about those troublesome verses in the Bible that appear to condemn homosexuality. Not surprisingly, they often come from a variety of evangelical and/or fundamentalist traditions, and they are seeking assurances that what I am telling them is Biblical. Or maybe not. Maybe they just want to know that I've actually thought about it some.

In general, I'm not a big fan of "giving answers" to people. We here in the congregation I serve really are about the journey together and about wrestling with this stuff, not being spoon-fed answers. But, as it happens, I do have some thoughts about those troublesome verses. And here is what I've told the folks who come to my office:

1. All of us Christians are selective literalists. We are literalists in that we all have passages that we believe to be "literally and for-all-time true," and we are selective in that we prioritize certain passages over others. I am yet to meet a Christian who takes the whole of the Bible fully literally and lives faithfully by the commandments contained therein. Slavery? Stoning of children for disobedience? Levirate marriage? Didn't think so. Even the most fundamentalist Christians I have known talk about "cultural" laws that may have been for certain times (but not now), and "moral" laws that stand for all time. It's funny, however, that the commandments they consider "moral" are usually the ones that don't affect their lives in significant ways, while the "cultural" commandments might require some real sacrifice on their part. But I'm sure that's just a coincidence. Right?

The point is, all of us Christians pick and choose which portions of the Bible we read literally. Some Christians pick out the nine or so verses that "deal" with "homosexuality" and make them the center of the Gospel message. (Curious, that, as Jesus never spoke of homosexuality, but I digress.) Some Christians pick out the hundreds-to-thousands of verses that speak to caring for the poor, the hungry, the sick, and the otherwise marginalized, and make them the center of the Gospel message. Some Christians pick out the hundreds or so verses that speak to creation care, and make them the center of the Gospel message. And so on.

I myself believe that when Jesus said, "Feed the hungry, visit the sick and those in prison, give clothing to the naked" and the like, that he literally meant for us to do those things. But hey, that's just me.

Maybe you noticed: this methodology I'm proposing does assume that we prioritize the message that we think is "literally" true. Is this a nod to the fundamentalists? Is it an acceptance of literal truth as having the highest priority for our faith? Hardly. It's an acknowledgment that for many of the people who come through the doors of the church I serve, literal truth is still very important to them. My job is about meeting people where they are, opening the door to some understandings and experiences of God that may be new for them, and helping them grow in faith. So if people start with the literalist interpretation of the Bible, that's where I start, too. But I don't stay there. There's a whole world of allegory, metaphor, parable/story, and loads of other ways to interpret the Bible that faithful people may utilize.

2. Now, that doesn't really answer the question. Those verses are still there. There may be only a few of them, but they are there. So what to do about them? I can exegete many of them away - the sin of Sodom, according to Ezekiel, was not the man-on-man action desired by the men of Sodom, but rather that "she and her sisters has pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy." (That's Ezekiel 16: 49 for all you sword-drill types.) By the Bible's own wording, it was Sodom's lack of care and hospitality that led to their downfall, not the fact that the men of the town wanted to rape the visitors to Lot's house (though I don't imagine God was overly pleased about rape, either....) That 2 Kings passage is about temple prostitution. And so forth. I sometimes also mention that in Biblical times, there weren't a lot of faithful examples of lifelong, committed same-sex couples (though you may want to read about Jonathan and David's relationship - even if it was not "sexual," it was surely far more intimate than any relationship David had with a woman), so the writers of the Bible had little to go on.

I myself have known many committed same-sex couples in whom the Holy Spirit was clearly at work. The fruits of the Spirit were alive in their relationship, their love radiated outward to others, and clearly they knew they were children of God. How can we deny that kind of evidence? We can't.

3. At our church, we take the Bible seriously but not always literally. I don't actually spend a lot of time on Biblical self-defense, mostly because it's simply not in my makeup. I grew up in the UCC, and while I hold the Bible in very high regard, I have always felt free to wrestle and argue with it. If the Bible can't withstand my questions.....well, it's not much of a holy text, then, is it? Furthermore, I don't feel the need to come up with "the right answer" to respond to a troublesome text, because there isn't a single right answer to counter troublesome texts. Sometimes they are just plain troublesome. It's a mark of faith to admit that.

I don't mean that I just throw out the stuff I disagree with. We must wrestle with challenging texts - that is how we grow and mature in our faith. And if, after a night of hard wrestling, we are unable to continue because of a hip joint that's come out of place.....well, there is blessing in that, too. We can be troubled by the texts of the Bible. It is good that they trouble us.

What I worry about is that we let the wrong passages trouble us. We should be more troubled by our casual acceptance of war and poverty in this nation than we are same-sex marriage. We should be more troubled that we are facing the judgment in Matthew 25 for not clothing the naking, feeding the hungry, giving a drink to the thirsty, and caring for the sick and those in prison. Why don't such passages trouble us more?

4. The Bible should be thought of as a library of books, whose authors do NOT speak univocally regarding God's nature or activity in the world. For a good example of this, just go read Job, then read Proverbs. Do they sound like they agree with one another?

5. I usually conclude by mentioning that, oh by the way, I'm a Christian Universalist. Meaning I believe that Jesus lived, died and rose for the salvation of all of humanity, and that in the fullness of time, all of humanity will be fully reconciled to God. Look, either what Jesus did worked or it didn't. If it worked, it worked for all of us. And if it didn't work for all of us ... well, maybe we should reconsider calling Jesus the "Savior of the World." And, fair warning: if you try to convince me that humanity's stubbornness can overcome or ultimately thwart the will of God, well, I will just point out that your God seems pretty weak, small and puny compared to the One who will persistently seek us - in all the ways God can imagine to reach us - and, in the end, redeem even the worst that we can do to each other.

And all God's people said "Amen!"

Calling all Feminists!

2009-07-22T11:53:00.005-05:00

Go and read this. Then tell me what you think.

I think it did a great job of defining feminism, calling out feminists for not defending Sarah Palin's right to non-sexist coverage in the media. I think it did a less-fine job of calling out conservatives on their insistence on Palin getting a non-sexist media treatment while at the same time giving Hillary Clinton that same sexist media treatment (though it does acknowledge this point).

I would definitely consider myself a third-wave feminist, concerned with the intersections of race and class and feminism. I also support the many ways that women express their feminism, even if I don't always agree with their conclusions (much as the author affirmed in her column about Sarah Palin). That's the gift of post-modernity - there's more than one way to be a feminist, chicas.

Go forth and be fabulous today.

h/t MotherTalkers

A Day of A Thousand Little Gems

2009-07-21T22:27:00.003-05:00

Some days, it is a challenge and a struggle to stay faithful to the work to which God has called us. Other days, I am deeply affirmed in our work and see clearly why we do what we do. Today was that day for me.

First off, I got to sleep in....sort of. The alarm still went off at 7:00 this morning, I still took the dogs for a walk before 8am, but after their breakfast, I went back to bed until 10:30. I was that tired. RAGBRAI, Monday's church-and-neighborhood clean-up, and reorganizing my part-time office after the mayhem that was county fair just plain wore me out. (It was rather decadent, I'll admit, and some of you may be surprised at my ability to go back to sleep after waking up and walking two rather rowdy dogs. But I take my sleep very seriously, let me tell you. Nothing keeps me from it.)

Once I finally made it into the office, there were lots of little gems to get me through the day. There was a message on the machine asking me to call an individual. It turns out that this woman had read a letter to the editor I had written some time ago about spiritual abuse and had been very impressed. So impressed, in fact, that she retyped the article. She recently had occasion to use it in her human services job in a very healing way for a group she led, and wanted to share the experience with me. How delightful is that? (And, since I've lost all my files due to the Blue Screen of Death last month, she said she would email or bring me another copy of what I had written.) I am hopeful to see her at church in the next couple of weeks.

Then, I got to make a reference for a church considering The Intern. I love talking about The Intern - she's terrific! It was a joy to share my impressions of The Intern with a church that seems ready for her and able to love her into the ministry. Not that she doesn't already love the ministry - but as most of you know, the first call is a defining part of one's ministry, and I want The Intern to have a great experience. This may be a good match for both. I am praying and keeping my fingers crossed.

Then, I went to the Y and discovered that Tasha would be teaching our Jazzercise class. She is a fellow student who recently went to the workshop for new instructors. She was GREAT! Very enthusiastic, utterly unfazed when she was not 100% perfect on the routines (no instructor is perfect), and totally in command of the class. She is already a terrific instructor - I can't wait for her "official" classes to start!!! Plus, I was nice and rested so I was ready for a good class.

The penultimate event was the community theatre board - my first meeting! There were only three of us, but we got quite a bit accomplished. And, our board chair M, of whom I've always been extremely fond, and I had a long and lovely visit following the meeting. He is a fantastic teacher in our district, a fine play director, and very, very cool. We are members of a mutual admiration society (he thinks I'm cool! I know he's cool!), and now we have an excuse to hang out some more.

And, I went to the store to buy some crazy chocolate desserts for Backbencher and myself. Have I mentioned lately what a perfectly charming (and very manly) husband Backbencher is? He makes me so, so happy. Finally, I finished another hat, and am ready for the rest of the week.

Stop by and tell me how your day is going.

RAGBRAI and Tamales: Cultural Intersections in SW Iowa

2009-07-19T21:42:00.003-05:00

RAGBRAI is a terrific week-long party across the state of Iowa. The acronym is the Register's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa, and it's been going on for nearly 40 years (The Des Moines Register is a paper based in our state's capital). Riders began at the western coast of the state, touch their wheels in the Missouri River, and ride for a week across the state, ending at the Mississippi River. Every year the route is different, though some locations have been multiple hosts. There are serious bicyclists, average Joe/Jane riders, and of course, people who are more interested in beer gardens at night than in the daily rides.

This year, our fair city is the host site for the first night. Our church and the Southwest Iowa Latino Resource Center partnered to make a unique meal for riders - tamales, rice and beans, with horchata, lemonade, iced tea and water to drink. Have you ever made homemade tamales? We started our prep work at 6pm last night, finally going home at about 11....and when I got up at 6:45 to walk the dogs this morning, there was already a crew at the church, hard at work. By the time I got to the church and got myself ready for worship, they had already made a few hundred tamales. I got in on the act for a bit before church, but mostly helped after the service. Several women from our congregation (Anglo) and several women from the Latino Center (Latino - mostly from Mexico) worked all morning making amazing tamales (they missed church but it was worth it). The Mexican women were patient in explaining the process, and we had a great deal of cross-cultural conversation. I practiced my pretty poor Spanish, but my accent must continue to fool folk, because they kept asking me questions in Spanish. I wish I knew more Spanish!

I truly never had any idea how hard it was to make tamales. (Let's just say I'll be happy to pay double what I currently do for the tamales I get from these ladies in the future.) And we were ready for the state inspector, who gave us the green light (which was good, because she arrived literally 5 minutes before we were going to open our doors). It was never an insane crowd, but we did steady business for most of the time we were scheduled to be open. After an initial count of money and bills, between the two organizations we made a nice profit. More importantly, we strengthened the relationship between our organizations and built more friendships.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by, and for giving us such great compliments on our food!!! Please have a safe ride, and come back anytime!

On Sotomayor and Her Critics

2009-07-17T20:22:00.003-05:00

First of all, these whole confirmation hearings have been utterly silly. I am deeply suspicious that anyone who gets this far in this day and age would not be confirmed, so it seems a bit of a farce. And then the questions Sotomayor has been asked are just silly. Seriously, how many times does she have to explain that whole "wise Latina" statement?

And while we're on the subject of the "wise Latina" .... I wish that Sotomayor had stood behind the statement and the reality that EVERYONE prioritizes what facts are important based on their life experiences, background, etc. It's called "having a social location," and we all have one. First-semester seminary students learn that if they can't identify their own social location and how that affects how they read the Bible, interact with other people, and minister to people from different social locations, they are not going to be successful in ministry. Judges need to know their social location, too, because without some self-awareness, they will never be able to approach the law with passion AND humility. They will be arrogant jurists who will never be able to accept being "wrong." Sotomayor gets it. Why don't these guys?

To the Republican white men on the Senate Judiciary committee, apparently, social location only counts if you are not white or male. White men, in other words, do not have a social location. The assumption seems to be, of course, that they have objective truth. Oh, honestly!

Well, this attitude isn't really a surprise, but it is a little shocking to see it expressed so blatantly. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) kept going on about "the classical American judicial philosophy," which again is a fallacy. We've never had just one classical philosophy - if we did, then we would not need a Supreme Court because the law could only be interpreted one way....

Then, as if the premise that Sotomayor cannot set aside her own personal experiences to make a "neutral" ruling regarding the facts of the case isn't bizarre enough, this morning on NPR I heard John Cornyn (R-TX) say something like, "I have no problem with the decisions and rulings you've made - those are well within the mainstream. What bothers me is that your speeches are so different than your official rulings." In other words, you are TROUBLED by the clear EVIDENCE that Sotomayor is perfectly capable of SETTING ASIDE her "wise Latina"-ness in favor of RULING ON THE FACTS OF A PARTICULAR CASE. So, she clearly separates her personal views from her judicial rulings - Cornyn has just admitted that, and now he's troubled by that. These men are just grasping at any silly reason to dislike her. There's basically no way she could win.

And can I just say the full name of the senator from Alabama? Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III. Most. Southern. Name. Ever.

Movie Review (WITH SPOILERS) and Preview Rave

2009-07-16T10:50:00.007-05:00

Wednesday night, Backbencher and I went to see "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince." It's my favorite so far, despite several reviews calling it a "placeholder." I really liked the changes they made to the story in the film, and even things that I wouldn't have thought would work did. For example (SPOILER ALERT), in the scene where Dumbledore is killed, Draco, the Carrow siblings, Bellatrix and Greyback are all on the tower with Dumbledore, with Harry watching silently below. As Bellatrix and the others goad Draco into doing the deed, Snape suddenly appears below, where Harry is. He presses his fingers to his lips - and for some reason Harry obeys him! Then, of course, he swoops up and kills Dumbledore.

Now, if you had read the books and heard about this scene from the movie, you would think there is no way this could possibly work. Harry HATES Snape with a passion; there is just next to no chance that Harry would collude with Snape for any purpose. Except.... except that in the movie version, the changes made to this scene make it very obvious that Harry fully expects Snape to shut down the Death Eaters, and that this is the reason he goes along with Snape's plan. The one time Harry trusts Snape makes Snape's betrayal more acutely painful than anything the book ever describes. I predict that this will come back to haunt Harry in the final installments of the movie .... and this little scene helps me anticipate the ways I will appreciate Harry's ultimate understanding/forgiveness/redemption of Snape. Until now, I always thought Harry's forgiveness of Snape, demonstrated by the fact he names one of his kids after him, to be pretty weak. It appeared to be based on Snape's memories and his love for Lily. Mind you, it didn't stop me from crying uncontrollably when I read the words, "Albus Severus" in the book!

But, as much as I loved this most recent movie, quite possibly I was more captivated by one of the previews. Yes, it is the return of "Stuff White People Like" and in particular, this gem about Where the Wild Things Are. When the preview for this film began, I gasped and grabbed Backbencher. "Max!" I whispered gleefully. This movie looks so perfectly delightful! The costumes are lifted almost directly from the pages of the book, I suspect there's a lot more "back story" or (real life) we will see, and oh! I just can't wait! (It would also make a great play, I noted....I'll check on whether or not one currently exists.)

The only odd thing about the whole experience was that, just before the previews began, where you get the reminders to turn off your cell phones, keep quiet, and keep your feet off seats, an ominous voice continued, "Remember, we are always watching and will remove loud or unruly patrons." I swear, it was almost as if we had heard, "Big Brother is always watching you, we are nearby, and we will make you 'disappear' if you don't conform." Dude, WTH?

In summary: go see Harry Potter, clear some time on your calendar for when WTWTA opens, and beware the movie-theater staff-stalkers.

Morning Coffee Break

2009-07-15T10:37:00.002-05:00

I don't actually drink coffee, but I do sometimes take a little break from work to check out what's going on in the world of news. Today, the topic seems to be reproductive choice. I found some links to some interesting sites you may want to check out.

CPC Watch keeps an eye out on crisis pregnancy centers. The most recent post centers around pro-woman adoption agency materials. In the first response to this post, there is a nice shout-out to The Avalon Center, with whom I've worked (and by whom I've been trained) in my sideline gig. They provide a holistic approach and work both with adoptive families and birthmothers (and often her family as well).

This was an interesting proposition for how pro-life people live out those convictions. I think it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, but it does make me wonder, if so many faith traditions are so opposed to abortion, clergy in those traditions do not urge their parishioners to adopt at least as often as they rail against abortion.

Enjoy!

Yes, Apparently He Can Do That

2009-07-14T22:38:00.003-05:00

So, evidently, "dissolving Parliament," as dire as it sounds, is not that big of a deal. I knew about that whole "calling early elections," but I guess that technically means a prime minister is dissolving the government. I'd say, "Who knew?" But evidently, many of you did.

This will teach me to post a political message before running it by Backbencher, who can save me from all kinds of embarrassment.

Ha! Like I get embarrassed.

Now go read Nicole Havelka's blog.

Welcome to the World of Blogging, 'Velk

2009-07-14T12:37:00.004-05:00

I am privileged to call the Rev. Nicole Havelka a colleague and friend. She is the Associate Conference Minister for Youth and Young Adult Ministries in the United Church of Christ. She is also incredibly fierce and fabulous, and owns a stupendous red couch that someday I will sleep on. She has also initiated the tradition among my UCC friends and colleagues by calling me by my last name, which hasn't really happened since college. Perversely, it gives me this strange sense of power and authority, as well as a major boost to my ego, and I really love it.

This is all to say that I'm proud to include her blog on my blogroll. Read it, be challenged by her, link to it on your own blogs, and start causing commotions wherever you may be doing ministry! Whether you do "youth ministry" or not, you will want to read this blog.

It's Funny Because It's True

2009-07-13T16:51:00.003-05:00

Many moons ago, I was introduced to the site "Stuff White People Like." This satire site is ostensibly aimed at people of color who may want to integrate into white culture, though I suspect that a number of white people read it to laugh at themselves. They are almost always spot-on in their assessments, and more than once I've winced as I realize that some of the stuff I do is just oh-so-typical-white-people behavior. (I don't mind that people realize I'm white, I just hate being typical.)

Friend-of-the-Blogger Shar reminded me of this great site some time back, and last year, Backbencher gave me the book for my birthday. We've had great fun with it over the past 12 months. But today's entry may well take the cake in self-parodying humor. I used to be proud that I would read the book before I saw the movie; in fact, I got into the Harry Potter series because the movie looked so fascinating, and I decided I should read the book before I saw the movie. Now, it is just another sign of my typical white-ness. *sigh*

However, I will say that I'm not really a Dave Eggers fan (another, more literary heresy), I don't really follow Spike Jonze but I'm sure I've liked many movies in his oeuvre, and I was actually excited when I learned a movie of "Where the Wild Things Are" was in production. So, maybe I'm not a Typical White Person?

Seriously, Can He Do That?

2009-07-12T23:19:00.003-05:00

What with all the coups and shake-ups in national governments these days, I shouldn't be surprised to read when the prime minister of a nation decides to dissolve Parliament. But for some reason, when that nation is Japan, it just seems weird to me. Is that wrong?

I guess I don't follow Japanese politics enough, because if I had, I would know that things have been a little tense there for a while. The article is pretty clear that there's been some struggles in the government for some time, and that the events of the last few days have brought things to a breaking point. And with the global economic meltdown still melting a bit (pretty much all I know about the global economic meltdown is that there is one....and that it started right AFTER our honeymoon in England began, and AFTER we had changed our money at the airport), I guess it's no surprise that any political party in power in any nation would be facing opposition.

But seriously, can a prime minister dissolve Parliament? The very concept boggles the mind.

Influential Books

2009-07-11T21:44:00.003-05:00

Some Facebook application is encouraging folks to write notes that list the books that have most influenced their lives. It got me thinking about the idea today as Backbencher and I drove home from a wedding. I have read probably thousands of books in my lifetime, and it's hard to cull what's been deeply meaningful from what I just like a lot. But, in no particular order, here's my list for now, in no particular order:

1. Gilead, by Marilynne Robinson, and 2. Home, its companion novel. Gilead literally changed my life, my understanding of what it means to be a minister, and what it means to be a child of God. If I had a thousand years to do nothing but write, my best sentence could never approach the weakest sentence in Gilead, yet I am not jealous at all of Robinson's gift. Every word seems like a gift to the reader. Home gives a different sense of depth and dimension to the characters who became so beloved to me when I read Gilead, yet it is a very different sort of book. Its ending preserves the ambiguity of Gilead's ending perfectly, yet is complete on its own. I continue to return to so many passages in these books, scenes or phrases that move me to tears or invite me into the mystery of Christian faith. My dear friend JBB in Washington State wondered how a writer could understand what it means to be a minister, how she could really get it .... and after meeting Marilynne Robinson, I saw why. She is attentive, reflective, deeply faithful to her craft and to Christianity, and she is just radically open to the creative Spirit in an almost mystical way (though she would certainly cringe at such a comparison).

3. Song of Solomon, by Toni Morrison. I read this in high school, and I think it was just a matter of "right book at the right time." It helped me to think about a life very different from my own (of African-Americans, of people of a higher class than my own, of the diverse ways racism affects people, of how friendships change and evolve, etc.). I suppose it may be classified as "magical realism" but it was really just deep and powerful for me.

4. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, by Christopher Moore. Look, all I can say about this book is that if you've read it, you probably get it. If you haven't read it, and you can poke a little fun at your faith without utter irreverence, you probably should get it.

5. The Crucible, by Arthur Miller. A terrific allegory that is true in its own story (17th century witch hunts in Puritan New England) as well as in what it allegorizes (1950s McCarthy witch-hunts). Though Backbencher disagrees, I find it pitch-perfect. And it is about my people - the Puritans. I confess that though the window may be rapidly closing (if not having already closed), I have never yearned to play a character onstage more than I wanted to play Abigail Williams.

6. The Bible. Need I explain this one?

7. Waiting for Godot by Samuel Becket. Well, I was a theatre major in college, so it shouldn't surprise you that a couple of plays made it on here. This play, and Sartre's No Exit were my introduction to existentialism. While I kind of reject it as my own personal philosophy, I was challenged and intrigued by the ideas expressed in these works. Overall I think I'm just too optimistic for existentialism, but I wouldn't have known that if I hadn't read (and thoroughly enjoyed) these plays.

8. The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. God, if ever there was a morality book for children, this would be it! The sheep (lamb?), the flower, the fox .... oh, I get all weepy just thinking about it.

9. Oh, the Places You'll Go, by Dr. Seuss. Not because read it at high school graduation (we did not), but because it was read to me as a camper in my final years at camp, and because we read it to our campers as they were leaving camp. He's artful, that Dr. Seuss.

10. Pedagogy of the Oppressed, by Paulo Freiere (I've also seen it Freire). Talk about conscientization! This whole book was about opening my eyes to see the world differently. I'm not sure how I can explain the ways this book has challenged so much of what I was taught (and taught to teach), but perhaps two examples may suffice (apologies to any church folk who've heard this story before). One: students' brains are not banks into which teachers make deposits and can ask for withdrawals, and treating them that way, whether they are kindergartners, graduate students, or ESL students, demeans their humanity.

Two: when I was a kid growing up in wine country, California, I often saw Mexican men (and they were from Mexico, and they were always men) gathered on street corners in the morning, usually in work clothes. Like many other people, I made some assumptions that perhaps these men were kind of lazy or shiftless. Why weren't they at work? Why were they just standing around while all these other people were on their way to work? Not until I read Pedagogy of the Oppressed and took New Testament with Louise Schottroff did I realize that these men were waiting to be hired for the day by employers in trucks. In retrospect, it is so obvious as to be painful to admit my own racism and ignorance.

I also believe that the Harry Potter series reflects a rather orthodox and faithful Christian witness, with lots of good morals besides. But you already knew I was a fan, right?

I'm sure I'll be adding to this list, but why don't you post a couple of your favorite books in the comments section? I LOVE talking about books!

Brother Bob Finally Gets Some Props

2009-07-11T21:30:00.002-05:00

I admit I've been neglecting Backbencher's family here on the blog. They are such a kind group, for the most part, and they are relatively drama-free, so that probably explains it. But Bob (Brother of Backbencher) texted me yesterday with some wedding etiquette ponderings. First he wrote (and I'm editing slightly as he's an atrocious speller/texter and it just about kills me): "After attending the wedding last night I came up with some business ideas."

First of all, what wedding? This is the first I am hearing of any wedding he attended, but he makes it sound like I was officiating. He's just funny that way.....and I do love him....the way you love the annoying little brother of your HS boyfriend, except that Bob is 28 and could crush me with his pinky. I digress....

His text did pique my interest. "What wedding and what ideas?"

Turns out it was the wedding of a friend he's known since middle school. "First idea is wedding cards for single guys to give, and souvenirs like the foam finger or t-shirts."

Seriously, the single guy cards idea is totally worth it. I mean, I loved all the beautiful wedding cards so many of y'all gave to me, and there was a lovely sentiment to it all. But sentiment is NOT what I expect from people like Bob, even if he is my BIL. Truthfully, I expected a card from him that was filled with rancid easy-cheese. That's how he shows his love (that and throwing mini-footballs at my head from the kitchen).

The foam fingers, not so much. The t-shirt thing could totally fly, as long as it was kitschy and clever, and not sappy. Bob does not do sappy. A friend from HS who is in the theatre scene in LA had director's chairs made up with her and her spouse's name on it. I don't know who-all got them, but it was a genius idea!

Also, Bob wanted to know if cameras can be limited at weddings. He noted that in a ceremony with 25 people, probably 23 of them took pictures during the ceremony. This is a major etiquette issue that I admit I have pretty much given up on. I did two weddings today, one at the church and one in a park, and people were taking picture after picture during the ceremony. And not even the professional - at the one wedding with a professional photographer, he came up beforehand and ASKED if I had any issues with flash photography. "As long as I look good and the picture-taking isn't obtrusive, that's fine." But at the wedding this morning, the couple "had" to kiss over and over again while their friend finally got the right shot. (It was funny the first time she asked for a do-over, but not the fourth.)

If 95% of your wedding guests are family, you don't need everyone taking pictures of the same thing. Get 2 of the best cameras and photographers to take shots and SHARE with everyone else. We are in a digital age, brothers and sisters!

So, Bob, I am putting your ideas out in the universe. If no one acts on them in the next 30 days, you should get going on that "wedding cards from single guys" idea. I am pretty sure you could start a whole new division at Hallmark.

And, to Nicolle and Michelle of New Braunfels, TX, and to Mickie and Michelle of Nevada, IA, congratulations! I was honored to share in your special day, and I wish you every blessing as you begin your married lives. Mavel Tov!

Seriously, Liveblogging a Funeral on Facebook?

2009-07-07T14:11:00.003-05:00

I know that those of you who read my blog regularly are not the same people who commit the kind of wretched behavior I noted in this blog's title, but what amazes me is that I apparently have "friends" in the Facebook realm who do so. Look, if I had wanted to watch the funeral, I would be watching it right now. Please do not give me a blow-by-blow complete with your commentary. I don't care that much. And the only people who do are also watching the funeral, not reading Facebook.

To conclude, I will quote my beloved Backbencher, who has many, many times said, "If my funeral lasts more than an hour, I am getting up and walking out."

That is all.

It Won't Be the First Time I've Been Called A Heretic

2009-07-06T17:42:00.002-05:00

This afternoon, driving back from some programming in a nearby community, I listened to "Talk of the Nation" on NPR. The discussion centered around J.D. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye" and a "sequel" by another author, the publication of which has been blocked by a court order initiated by Salinger. The judge apparently agreed with the author that Salinger not only has rights to the book, but also to the insanely popular narrator Holden Caulfield.

It's an interesting case. I suspect that the author of this "sequel" is some super-fan who thinks he understands Holden, and Salinger, enough to fancy this an homage. I am doubtful that this is the case, frankly, because even as a superfan of several series of books, I've never actually tried to publish any tripe I may or may not have written in response to various books.

But here's the thing, and I confess this aware that I'm about to commit literary heresy (and may imperil my future ability to get anything else published): I loathed Holden Caulfield. I found him snobby and entitled, and found his so-called "idealism" a thin mask for his elitism. He reminds me of what a seminary professor once said, that "despair is the privilege of the wealthy." It's a broad brush, I'll admit, but in this case I think it applies to Mr. Caulfield. I simply never had patience for him when I read the book as a teen, and I certainly did not understand why others would have been so connected to him. With the self-righteousness of the poor, I felt like he was an ungrateful little brat who did not appreciate all the advantages his parents gave him. There, I finally said it!

Reading the book in my early twenties, I thought I identified some clear signs of depression in Holden's character, which made me marginally more sympathetic to him. I pitied him, rather than loathed him. But when I hear the kind of hero-worship I heard expressed on NPR, it makes me angry at Holden all over again.

I admit that what I remember of the book is itself well-written, and for that I certainly admire Mr. Salinger. But the over-identification that so many have with Holden Caulfield just baffles and, I must admit, also angers me a little. Now, I obviously wanted to understand the love of this young man, because I reread the book when I didn't have to. And now I'm wondering if I should give it another shot.

So I ask you, dear readers: should I read it again? Will I appreciate Holden Caulfield more? Will my appreciation for Salinger's deft use of language override my annoyance at Holden's thoughts and actions? Or will my superior loathing continue unabated, confirming my prejudice? Share your advice - and your thoughts about Holden Caulfield, "The Catcher in the Rye," and J.D. Salinger - in the comments. I promise I won't hold any of your beliefs against you. :)

Random Knitting Post

2009-07-06T09:43:00.003-05:00

Knitting is something I usually do in the winter months. I don't know why, but it just seems more appropriate then. However, due to the insanity of recent church meetings, I've been carting along some knitting projects with me, and it would appear that I'm catching the bug in the summer now, too.

I began knitting in seminary. A mentor suggested I take up a hobby that has a beginning, middle and end, because in ministry, you never have any idea of when you have finished anything. The longer I do this, the greater the wisdom I see. Knitting is perfect, because you can do neat projects and give your friends nice hats and scarves. That's about as far as I've gotten in my knitting extravaganza. Apparently, to knit a hat in the round is something that even the most beginner of beginning knitters could master in a few hours. I've actually memorized the pattern. It goes like this: cast on 48 or 60 or 72 or so stitches (depending on the yarn used and the size of the head intended, but make sure it's divisible by 6), knit in round until project is 6 inches long, then start to decrease six stitches every other row until you're knitting one, then 2 together (that would be K1, K2tog for you knitting divas ... but then again, if you know knitspeak you probably have long mastered this kind of project). Cut thread about 6 inches, pull through remaining stitches and weave ends in. Ta-da!

It's not pretty or patterned, but they are pretty cute. And I can do them in any color. Some time ago I knitted hats for all of the educators in the department where I work in my sideline gig, as well as hats for the kids of our local clinic staff. It was GREAT! Knitting a scarf is just as easy - just cast on however many stitches you want for the width of the scarf you want, and knit until the scarf is long enough. Then cast off. Again, there's no real pattern but it's awfully functional.

This current mania started with a project I purchased in January and have only just now gotten to start. It's a cute little purse from Lion's Brand...and it was labeled "easy +" so I thought I might be able to handle the challenge. Once I *finally* printed out the pattern and looked at it, I realized I was in way over my head. The first step that got me was when it said to "pivot work and pick up stitches." Huh?

My "Knitter's Companion" was no help - the first time it's ever let me down! I asked Pope Laura the Beneficent if she knew what that meant, and when we got together I showed her the work. She explained what she thought it meant, and I was deeply suspicious. Not of her, just of why this would be done. But I tried it, and after working a few rows I started to see what it was - the base of a purse. Then it started to make sense.

Did I mentioned I've never worked a pattern before? Much less a pattern with more than one ball of yarn? I had no idea how to do that....so it was off to Holy Knitter for some advice. She also gave good wisdom that I didn't fully understand, but when I started to follow her directions, it again made good sense. And she told me I was doing it correctly after I asked her to check my work, so that helped. But "easy +" - not so much. Either that or I should go back to "beginner."

I've since learned that Lion's Brand patterns go in this order: beginner, easy, easy +, intermediate....and God only knows what's after intermediate, because I doubt I'll ever graduate from easy+. I did download another patterns for a baby hat and one for a "baby playdate sweater" - not for me, but for my THREE FRIENDS who are all having (or have recently had) babies in 2009. The patterns both said "easy" but I'm a little suspicious. Any time you have to knit and purl in the same row ... well....hrmph.

I'll post pictures as I finish projects, in case you're interested. The purse needs to be "felted" after it's finished, which I presume will make it look a lot better than it currently looks....The hats, however, should be pretty easy, and I'll figure out if I want to do the playdate hoodie for any kid I know. My godson needs something cute, now that I think of it.....

And another fun site for you...

2009-07-05T21:12:00.001-05:00

This one comes to me from Holy Knitter's site, but I've seen it before. As they say on the Simpsons, "It's funny because it's true." Beauty Tips for Ministers - the name says it all!

Glad to Be Back

2009-07-05T17:13:00.003-05:00

Wow. That's all I can say. I was at General Synod for one little week, and all hell breaks loose. Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, coup in Honduras (probably should have led with that one), and probably a bunch of other stuff I've already forgotten. Then, before I've gotten my feet back under me, Sarah Palin offers the gift that appears to keep on giving (on my birthday, no less), a football player is apparently murdered, and this Honduran coup keeps getting weirder and weirder.

Synod itself provided plenty of fodder for plenty of blog posts, but they are going to have to wait for a day or two. I've got lots of notes and pithy quotes, but I'm still processing the whole experience. It is definitely a different experience attending Synod as a delegate rather than as a visitor, and both have benefits...and costs. The largest cost, without a doubt, was the insistence on 6:45am delegate caucuses. At least we had breakfast! And it was a bit later than many other conference's caucus, so I am trying to keep the whining to a minimum. But still! Even if I'd gone straight to bed after all the work of Synod, I'd still be behind my normal 8 hours.

But of course I did not go right to bed right after the work of Synod, because there was much visiting and catching up with friends, and lots and lots of 2030 after-hours gatherings. Which meant many, many late nights. And early mornings. Hence my exhaustion. And my longer-than-usual processing of events. I will say that there is much to think about, much to reflect on, and much to celebrate.

On a final note, I just learned that one of my dear friends and colleagues in ministry has a blogsite for knitters. Since she doesn't yet have a name on this blog, I can call her by the name of her site: Holy Knitter. Holy Knitter is a terrific friend and we spent a lot of time deepening our friendship at Synod. Per her request, I won't reveal her real-life identity, but I will say that for the past few years I've been rather surprised by her father's fondness of me and my ministry here...until I realized that Holy Knitter and I have a lot in common. A LOT. I think maybe Holy Knitter's dad sees his child in me....and I take it as a major compliment.

I suspect that over the next year, Holy Knitter and I will be spending a great deal of time together, despite our diverse locales. Until then, satisfy yourself with perusing the holy awesomeness of her blogsite.

Not Here for a Little While

2009-06-27T00:10:00.001-05:00

I am in Grand Rapids, MI for the General Synod, the biennial gathering of the United Church of Christ. I am a member of the Iowa delegation, and we are blogging here. Come on over, check us out, and let us know you stopped by. I'll be back here blogging in early July.

Fun at Church

2009-06-15T19:04:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I had the chance to visit Grinnell UCC, where Pope Laura the Beneficient attends along with some other friends. It is relatively close to the camp I'm at this week....and since camp is nowhere close to home and I wasn't working, I decided to head over.

I'd seen a bunch of folk at Annual Meeting just the day before, but it's always nice to see folk in other contexts. It was also very relaxing not to have to worry about leading the service and just have the opportunity to be present in worship.

Before the service, a gentleman I will refer to as The Mann came to greet me. We have a very cordial friendship and he's a hoot. In his clever way, he reminded me that hollering and "whoo-hooing" (of the kind you will not be surprised to learn I do at large meetings) is not really the norm at this church. Of course, this was how he said it, "Now, you know, LiturgyGeek, there are to be no hoo-hahs in this church."

Um, Mr. The Mann? I don't think that means what you think it means. Bless his heart.

Do Blogs With Fewer Than 10 Followers Have an Open Thread?

2009-06-12T20:29:00.001-05:00

If so, consider this it. I'm at the Iowa Conference Annual Meeting in Cedar Rapids today and tomorrow, and then at our camp for a few days. Be back mid-week with fun new posts! For now, leave a note to tell me you stopped by.

Backbencher says the cutest things

2009-06-10T21:57:00.002-05:00

At dinner tonight (shout-out to Casa de Oro, our favorite local Mexican restaurant), Backbencher and I got talking about Jim Wallis, who will be speaking at the next General Synod of the UCC. Both of us share a great antipathy toward the man (or at least his public persona, neither of us have met him personally), and Backbencher came up with two pithy reasons why:

1. Wallis believes so strongly in his beliefs that he's willing to sell out yours in order to achieve his goals.

2. Wallis' theology can be summed up this way: "I love the poor, so you should give up your right to choose."

ZING! Time and time again, he just comes across as pompous and patronizing towards those with whom he disagrees. And why on earth the MSM points to him as a leader of the "religious left" when the man's chief claim to fame is the aforementioned love for the poor (and the fact he marched with Dr. King). Wallis just doesn't get that God's preferential option for the poor exists only in a context of full moral agency for all persons.

Dr. Tiller's Church

2009-06-10T17:00:00.003-05:00

Courtesy of my good e-friend Jocelyn over at WTF Would Jesus Do? comes this gem of a letter to the editor about the kind of church that Dr. Tiller would feel welcome at. (Actually, I think it's courtesy of her Facebook page, but let's not quibble.) I hope our church is like that, too. We certainly strive to be.

Trusting women is how I got involved in the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice, and it deeply informs my work as a part-time sexuality educator.

Shooting at the Holocaust Museum in DC?

2009-06-10T14:36:00.005-05:00

Seriously? Wow. Just, wow. The suspect is described as an 88-year-old white supremacist male. Apparently, he and a security guard were both injured, but the media is not saying how badly.

Talk about people just not getting the point. I mean, it seems terribly ironic that a place dedicated to shining the light on mass violence would be a target of violence - and perhaps the only reason it did not become a scene of mass violence was due to the quick thinking of the guard. (Then again, in the minds of racists, this probably is not ironic, but fitting.) Yet another reminder why it's important to pray for our enemies, and for ourselves that we do not become tempted to act in ways that our enemies do.

Please keep everyone affected in your prayers*.

UPDATE: Apparently the security guard has died. Let prayers* abound.

* prayers = prayers, good thoughts, intentions, etc.

What's In The Box?

2009-06-09T11:07:00.003-05:00

Trust me, this is strictly G-rated. Several years ago, a colleague in ministry shared with me a cool Children's Time that I incorporated into the life of our church for a time. It's simple: give a kid a box and tell them to bring it back next week with something that reminds them of or makes them think of God. The only rules are that there are to be no creatures, living or dead, and nothing that can spoil between home and church. They bring the box, share the item during Children's Time, and the child and minister have a little conversation on the ways the item relates to God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and/or the church.

What I love about this is that it encourages our children to begin to articulate their theology and to share something important to them with the other children (and the congregation). It's also an opportunity to dialogue with the minister about faith. I will say it's rather nice to not prepare a message, but to do a little theology-on-the-spot with our kids. My colleague once had a kid put in a Barbie-sized martini glass - which provided a chance to talk about the fun we can have when we follow Jesus.

Our box is a shoe-box, covered in paper that was spray-painted a nice copper color, and we'll probably continue to decorate it with stickers and such as time goes by. It was a great experience when we had several children in church, but when our children dwindled to two, I let "What's in the Box?" go for a while. But I kept the box. And now that we have at least eleven children associated with the church in one way or another, I knew it was time to bring it back.

Well, Abs got it first. Abs is a serious young thing, sincere and earnest and very intelligent. When she brought the box back to church this week, I was really excited to see what she had put in. It was a silver cross necklace, with little crystals imbedded in the cross. Given to her by her grandmother, it has quite a bit of sentimental value in addition to the obvious religious value. She said it reminded her of Jesus' death, and I pointed out it was also a sign of the resurrection (as it was not a crucifix). I also said that Jesus is the light of the world, and those crystals helped reflect that holy light into the world (Abs liked that). Finally, I asked if her grandmother's love, close to her heart, might help her remember God's love. She agreed it might. We all prayed, and then the kids went off to play.

Maybe you'll want to try this at your church. I suggest that if your church as 12 or fewer children (especially if there are multiple kids in one family) to do it monthly so families and kids don't get burned out, and so it will continue to be a "treat" for the kids. But if you have a lot of kids during children's time, maybe this is something you want to do weekly, to make sure everyone gets a turn in a timely manner. Also, a little "instant theology" is good for preachers and the church, and might be a good tradition to create.

Next month, at our church someone else gets the box. Will it be Sho-tee? The Diva? A kid I don't have a clever nickname for yet? You'll just have to wait and see. If you're in the area, summer worship is at 9:30am and you are most welcome to see this unfold live and in person!

"It's So Personal"

2009-06-04T21:09:00.002-05:00

Andrew Sullivan has some really amazing stories about people's abortion experiences. In fact, I was up way too late last night reading all of them. They are sad, hopeful, and from a variety of perspectives, including a gay couple and their surrogate. Most of the stories have to do with late-term abortions, but one of the more recent ones concerned an early abortion. (These are the two most recent stories posted by Sullivan, so if you are reading them in order, read them last.)

Here they are, mostly in order from earliest to latest. They are worth the read. This is also a nice summary of why Sully is doing this (offered by a reader), for which I heartily commend him. One of the things that has annoyed me about him the most is his anti-choice position - he's such a conservative-in-the-mold-of-small-government-and-individual-responsibility that I find his view on abortion incongruous from that point of view. What I appreciate most about Sully is that he's willing to be challenged on those beliefs and is open to change.

It's So Personal

It's So Personal, Ctd.

The Catholic Mother - Not many priests, of any religious stripe, have the courage or grace to tell a family that "he believed we were not choosing our son's death, only choosing the timing of his death in order to spare him a great deal of suffering." Wow.

The Trauma

A Tiller Patient - I think this one is my "favorite." Poignant, and gives a full portrait of the man behind the rhetoric.

A Target of Terror

The Regret

Not Knowing For Sure

When Principle Meets Reality

Serial Abortions

Preparing for the Worst

An Unforgiving Family

Serial Abortions, Ctd. - with a nice shout-out from Dan Savage.

The Guilt

Serial Abortions, Ctd.

Should Men Even Have a Say? - an interesting perspective.

Holding On

(The Gay Fathers) - also linked above

(What Guilt?) - also linked above

This is not all he's posted about abortion or the whole aftermath of Dr. Tiller's murder, but these tell real people's stories. I am convinced that the more we hear the truth of these situations, the more we will see these issues as individual moral choices that should not be constrained by the government.

Pray for the Methodists in Fiji

2009-06-03T22:32:00.003-05:00

Apparently, the government there has ordered the Methodist Church there to cancel their annual meeting in August, contending that the church is trying to destabilize the military government. "Inciteful issues" are going to be discussed at the conference, evidently. What's more, their president says "no conference until politics leaves the pulpits." Which is weird, because as a practicing Methodist, he should know that politics definitely has a place in the pulpits. (I hate to think what would be the case if the UCC had a conference in Fiji - politics in the pulpits is pretty much our thing.)

That's why I want to give an "attaboy" to the Methodist Church if this is indeed true. Church and government should be in tension with one another. But pray for them nonetheless. This cannot bode well for religious freedom in Fiji.

You can read more here.

Conspiracy? Or just Misogyny?

2009-06-03T16:08:00.006-05:00

This whole Tiller thing has been disrupting my sleep and my prayer life. I am so very angry - at Dennis Roeder, at the violent "pro-life" fringe that endorses speech that incites violence, at those who willfully close their eyes to the real reasons women and families choose to have third-term abortions (hint: it isn't because a baby is "inconvenient" or unwanted). I'm even mad at Alveda King again - but that's a whole other story, and really doesn't have much to do with her, per se.

These fringe "pro-life" groups* that support, endorse, or at least don't condemn violence against abortion providers really confuse me with their lack of logic, though. So, their opinion is that these abortion providers are mass murderers. Okay, I totally disagree with that premise, but whatever, I'll roll with it for now. They think these "mass murderers" should be sent to jail for "murder."

What confuses me is why they don't think that the women who get abortions should go to jail for conspiracy to commit murder. After all, these women are paying someone to kill their baby, right? Now, I know that my law "degree" comes from the school of "Law and Order," but I'm fairly certain that paying someone to kill someone else is the very definition of conspiracy to commit murder. What's more, in a lot of places it's a capital offense.

If the life of an unborn fetus is equal to that of a one-year-old, or an elderly person, or Kobe Bryant, and if someone paid someone else to kill a child, or an elderly person, or Kobe, both the killer and the person who paid for that would be facing lethal injection by the state. So why doesn't the violent "pro-life" fringe call for the person who pays an abortion provider to terminate a pregnancy to also face the death penalty? Why is it only the abortion provider who's the target of rage and violence?

This is where well-meaning pro-life people talk about the poor, distraught woman coming in to a clinic in utter ignorance of her other choices, and being duped into "killing her baby." She's not a conspirator, she's another victim.

Sorry, FAIL. First of all, it's not so easy to get an abortion. You can't just walk in one day and have one. There's a pregnancy test, and counseling, and in many states, a required ultrasound. The counseling includes information on all the options available to a pregnant woman - abortion, adoption, and parenting. But honestly, really? In this day and age - women don't know their choices? Considering that the average woman who has an abortion is in her twenties with at least one other child, she probably has heard of what "abortion," "adoption" and "parenting" are at least once before. Even abstinence-only-until-marriage education probably talks about at least two of these choices (parenting and adoption).

It's amazing to me that in this day and age so many people - and especially women - will espouse this kind of garbage. It's so very misogynistic - "Oh, this poor woman, she is just not smart enough or rational enough to make this choice for herself." It's no wonder that one of the pro-choice slogans is, "If you can't trust me with a choice, how can you trust me with a baby?"

A woman knows what she is doing when she chooses to have an abortion. She may have mixed feelings about it, she may even feel sad about it, but she also, most of the time, feels relief, because for whatever reason, continuing this pregnancy is not the right choice for her. But one thing she is not ignorant of is the results of her action - the termination of a pregnancy.

Since she knows what she's doing, and since the "pro-life" movement says that abortion providers = murderers, then women who pay for abortions MUST = conspirators to murder. It's logic, people!

Hearing this argument gain absolutely no currency in the "pro-life" movement, fringe or otherwise, leads me to believe that at its root this movement is not really about "preserving life" at all. It is not even about the equality of fetal life with life outside the womb. I am tempted to say it is about "making sure every baby conceived is born" and misogyny, but I'm not so sure that's true. Fundamentally, I think it's about controlling other people's lives and choices. Which seems so un-American to me.

* Not all pro-life groups condone violence, so I'm not talking about everyone who's pro-life. If you are pro-life and condemn this kind of speech or action, say so loudly and clearly. That puts you in the mainstream of the pro-life movement, and you won't get "scare quotes" around the designation when I talk about you.

"Pro-Life" Protesting - Across the Line, or Not Far Enough?

2009-06-03T15:32:00.004-05:00

I've been trying to focus my attention on the relatively benign stuff that "pro-life" groups have been posting about Dr. Tiller this week, but I keep getting drawn back to people like Randall Terry, who called Tiller a "mass murderer" and others who think it is defensible to kill someone to prevent them from "killing more babies." There's so much wrong with all of this that I hardly know where to start.

But the bottom line is that abortion is a legal medical procedure. Does it end life? Yes, in my personal opinion, I would say that it does. Whether it is potential human life, nascent human life, or just plain "human life," how I answer depends on the day. Obviously, "pro-life" groups believe that it is human life, equal to your or my life, and it should be preserved - sometimes by any means necessary.

Protesting, of course, is the usual form of trying to preserve this life, either in front of clinics, or more appallingly, in front of providers' homes or places of worship. Now I've only had to walk through a protest line into a clinic once, and that was rather unintentially hilarious for reasons I won't address now. I can't imagine what clinic staff have to go through every day as they are confronted by protestors, nor what patients, after reaching the gut-wrenching decision to terminate a pregnancy, must feel, as they face such protestors. I know it's not fun for them. And it's probably less fun when it is not just at your place of employment, but also at your home and worship setting.

It's legal, of course, and I do so love the First Amendment that I'd hate to see protestors muzzled by the government. But I would like to see these "pro-life" activists be a little more consistent and complete in their campaign.

If the "pro-life" movement wants to do all it can to preserve life, why does it stop with abortion providers? Why not protest in front of prisons where executions take place? Why not protest at military bases? As far as doing what it takes to preserve life, "pro-life activists" should also protest in front of the homes and churches of executioners and doctors who preside at state-sponsored executions. They should protest in front of the homes and churches of soldiers who've killed people in war.

After all, these are two other legal things, permitted by the government, that result in the death of human beings - sometimes innocent human beings. And the whole point of the "pro-life" movement is that fetuses are of the same value as already-born people, right? So those who commit those acts are also murderers....aren't they? I mean, by the definition used by the pro-life movement, how can the answer be anything other than "yes"?

What? No? It's revolting and un-American that I would even suggest that? Huh. That's interesting. Why is my proposal so shocking and appalling, but what was done to Dr. Tiller is seen as acceptable, as putting an end to "murder"? People who execute prisoners and who fight in wars also have a choice about what they do. They didn't have to sign up for those jobs. They chose that career. Why doesn't the pro-life movement see these jobs as just as destructive to human life?

The fact that they don't says more about the kind of life they value than the fact that they supposedly value "human life." Turns out, only certain kinds of life are worth protesting for. And that protesting knows no limits or boundaries.

Frankly, I find this whole line of thinking appalling. I do not like war, nor do I support capital punishment. I've been to peace rallies, and while I've never been to a vigil on the night of an execution, that has more to do with opportunity than belief. And even though I disagree with protestors outside of abortion clinics, I support their right to do so. But I'd never dream of harassing those who do those jobs at their homes or their places of worship. That shows a profound disrespect for the basic humanity of that person, no matter how I may feel about their job, or even their belief system. Be "hard on issues, but gentle on people."

Or, as the apostle Paul said in Romans 12: 20, "No, if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads." Kill them with love and kindness, kids, not condemnation, or guns in the church.

Liturgy in Memory of Dr. Tiller

2009-06-02T10:38:00.001-05:00

Here's a clip from a vigil in NYC, led by my good friend and colleague the Rev. Matthew Westfox. Will post the rest of his liturgy (with his permission) later.

In other news...

2009-06-01T16:43:00.002-05:00

Dick Cheney, WTF? One would hate to speculate that he has some sort of dread illness that is forcing him to repent of his earlier beliefs, but what else can explain this sudden change of heart vis-a-vis marriage equality?

When my brother-in-law (between Backbencher and I, we'll surely think of a clever nickname soon) texted me with this information, I was sure he was lying. Because Dick Cheney made a real point of being a a real asshole - sorry, there's just no other word for it - about this issue when he was in office.

Maybe in the final throes of his publicity, he's trying to make headlines. Or maybe he just realizes how a policy that denies equality denies the humanity of one of his own children.

He may be an ally on this issue, but I'm still inviting him the Lambda Legal family picnic in Des Moines on July 18, 4-7 pm at the South Shelter of the Evelyn Davis Park (1400 Forest Avenue). But I am inviting you! Message me with your RSVP info - and kids are totally invited to this event. You might even get to hear me speak. (Okay, you definitely will get to hear me speak!)

More on Dr. Tiller

2009-05-31T19:22:00.003-05:00

Here's a statement from the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice regarding the death of Dr. George Tiller, by Reverend Dr. Carlton W. Veazey, President and CEO:

The Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice extends our deepest sympathy and our prayers to the family of Dr. George Tiller, who was assassinated this morning in the lobby of Reformation Lutheran Church in Wichita, Kansas, where he was a member of the congregation. Dr. Tiller was a person of conscience and faith, who provided abortion services for women in the greatest medical need despite frequent threats, lawsuits and violence. He was one of the very few doctors providing medically indicated late-term abortion services and he did not waver from the provision of this service, although he was well aware he was never far from danger.

While we do not know at this time if the murder of Dr. Tiller was religiously motivated, the fact that the murder took place in his church reminds us that some people use religion as an excuse for acts of hatred. Let us remember that violence and murder are perversions of religion, and let us-- as people of faith - speak out forcefully and unambiguously against those who foment hatred by their words.

As people of faith, the RCRC family condemns both words and acts of hatred.

Tragically, there were many warning signs that this cruel act could take place. Dr. Tiller's clinic was severely vandalized earlier this month and it was reported that Dr. Tiller had asked the FBI to investigate the incident. Today, as we mourn the loss of Dr. Tiller, we urge the federal government to take swift action against the person or persons who committed this act.

The Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice is the nation's interfaith coalition of religious and religiously affiliated organizations from 15 denominations and faith traditions that support reproductive choice on religious grounds.

There aren't really words...

2009-05-31T16:50:00.004-05:00

I woke up from my nap this afternoon to this news. George Tiller was an abortion provider and a frequent target of those opposed to abortion rights. His clinic has been bombed or otherwise vandalized several times, and he'd been shot in both arms in the 90s.

What makes me most sick at heart is that it happened at his church. Where he was serving as usher.

Surely whoever committed this crime - and the story does indicate they've caught the guy - will undoubtedly claim it was because of what Tiller did for a living. As if that somehow justifies things. Look, if you think that abortions kill unborn babies, and you think that killing unborn babies is wrong, you don't make your point by killing someone. Do you not understand the meaning of the crucifixion and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ? That means God alone gets to judge people. It is not your job to make an ultimate judgment of a person based on less-than-all the facts about his (or her) life and faith, and it is certainly not your job to carry out executions based on that summary judgment.

Opposition to abortion rights is steady and frequently frustrating, but this is far beyond what anyone would consider acceptable or appropriate. To say nothing of its illegality. I was going to give Operation Rescue a modicum of credit for the statement that's reported in the article, but then I read this. Kathryn Lopez is ridiculous and insane regarding Tiller, but the press release is beyond the pale. Why am I not surprised that the MSM didn't report THAT statement?

I guess I just wonder why someone would complain about "intimidation" on the part of the Obama administration, but then go on to describe their own intimidation tactics as merely "peaceful protests." Just because it's legal (say, to protest in front of someone's house and church) does not mean it is right. Something I've heard the anti-abortion crowd say many, many times, come to think of it.

Needless to say, our sympathies are not with Operation Rescue. We stand with Tiller, his family, his friends, his coworkers, his patients, and his church community, all of whom grieve this day. Like so many others, we pray for the consolation that the Holy Spirit can provide to those who mourn, we pray for justice to come to the one who committed this act, and we pray for a time when women's bodies are not battlefields and women's choices are respected.

May God give comfort to those who mourn, and may the one who did this terrible deed know repentance and forgiveness from behind the bars of a jail cell. And may this one not become a martyr to the "pro-life" cause, having done nothing in this instance to support life.

This is for Backbencher and the Rest of You Scrubs Fans

2009-05-28T14:05:00.004-05:00

I don't need to relate that Backbencher became a fan of Scrubs because of my intervention. Back in the day, he insisted he had enough shows without it. (How is that even possible?) I insisted that if he liked My Name is Earl, he would love Scrubs. I was proven right, and he's become positively rabid about the whole series. As should everyone be, in my opinion. It's sharp, funny, and often very touching. Plus, there's a stuffed dog on the show. How do you go wrong with that?

Well, in the past season, hapless lawyer Ted inexplicably got a girlfriend. In real life, the actress who plays this girlfriend is part of an adorable singing duo called Garfunkel and Oates. Undoubtedly they are from Canada (whence comes many, many adorable things). Or possibly the U.S. It's hard to tell sometimes.

Anyway, G & O do insanely funny songs which are often horribly, horribly inappropriate for posting. This is not one of them. Hilarious, not horribly inappropriate. Unless you like Pat Robertson.

But just in case, let the kids go outside and play before you listen, unless you want them singing about sex with ducks.

6-1 Prop 8 Upheld...

2009-05-26T12:07:00.003-05:00

....marriages performed in 2008 considered valid. That's the early word, at least. Will wait a little while to actually read the ruling, but can't wait to see what comes next.

Equality for my moms, but not for all families, doesn't really feel like equality at all. We aren't in this just for us, but for all.

Bastard out of California?

2009-05-26T10:11:00.002-05:00

We'll know in a couple of hours. It sounds like the most likely scenario the pundits are proclaiming is that the the CA Supreme Court will uphold Prop 8 as well as the 18,000 or so marriages performed between May and November 2008. Like that's not going to be complicated, going forward.....and heaven forbid a couple from Iowa or Massachusetts moves to town. I mean, how is it that their marriage can't be recognized in California when other gay marriages are being recognized in the state? This is a compromise with immediate bad effects, and opens the door to lots more legal wrangling.

I would like to believe that the CA Supreme Court would give us a total victory, nullifying Prop 8. But no one else seems to be that optimistic. The particular legal reasoning in this case is kind of thin (though of course the cause is just). Upholding Prop 8 and nullifying the marriages is another possibility, but one that most aren't taking seriously. God help us if that's the case - and I don't see how that could be a victory for "pro-family" groups, as forced divorces (or annulments) in no way supports families.

I can foresee lots of possibilities, and what next steps might be if we are not victorious this round. Perhaps the most obvious strategy is for the CA groups who want to repeal Prop 8 to get their acts together, suck it up and act as ONE coordinated team, rather than a bunch of people pushing their way into the spotlight. Also, and it worked well here in Iowa - let gay couples tell their own stories about why marriage matters to them. Don't pretend this is just about "equality" and "fairness," and don't trot out the straight relatives of gays and lesbians to have them express their support for their family members. This is about SAME-SEX MARRIAGE EQUALITY. Let our people speak for themselves.